Gulya Diyarova, MSc Tavistock, PGDip Relate, UKCP, Accred. COSRT, MBACP, ICEEFT
I am medically trained fully qualified Relationship and Psychosexual therapist working with individuals and couples. While working in different modalities when needed, I specialise predominantly in Emotionally Focused Therapy approach (EFT) helping people transform their negative patterns of ‘blame-distance’ or 'attack-withdraw' into safe and loving emotional connection and functioning.
To come to therapy may often feel like a big and courageous step to take, and it is. It also means change has already begun.
If you’ve arrived here you probably are feeling troubled… Unhappy… Stressed… Stuck… Lonely in your own relationship… Hurt… Angry… Confused… Disconnected…Dealing with tough circumstances… Unsure of your direction or purpose in life…
Aren’t we all sometimes?
I believe we all need help at times to access our own resources to be able to cope with problems in relationships and in life in general, to empower us to gain more understanding of who we are, where our difficulties may stem from and make meaningful changes for ourselves.
Scope of my work
I specialise in working with distressed couples and help people to deal with a wide range of emotional, relational and sexual concerns in relationships, predominantly using Emotionally Focused Therapy model based on Attachment theory.
I work with both individuals and couples on an open-ended basis or for an agreed time period and have both daytime and evening slots. I am bilingual in English and Russian.
I work in many modalities with different and challenging life stage transitions and kinds of relationship, if you are married or not, long-term partners or more recent, separated or together, heterosexual, gay or lesbian – and most importantly the relationship with yourself.
My overarching therapeutic approach is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT sees emotional closeness, safety and intimacy at the core of a loving and meaningful relationship. When a relationship is in trouble we tend to start a habitual 'Negative dance' which Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, calls the Demon Dialogues.
One person starts complaining or criticising and gets angry and the other starts defending and stonewalling. The couple get caught up in this negative dance which takes on a life of its own as it gains momentum, and very soon we see the other person as the enemy. There are no 'winners' in this struggle to find each other, and both end up hurting and alone.
EFT helps the partners identify the habitual negative patterns of blame and distancing and where their stuck places are. It shows couples that love comes from feeling that your partner is emotionally available to you, that what is important can be shared and received and that you are valued and special to each other.
You will learn how to
- address stuck patterns and negative cycles in your relationship,
- make sense of your own emotions and those of your partner,
- how to use your emotions to become close and intimate with each other, and to understand each other better,
- move from distress to emotional healing and safe connection.
I am the first UK therapist trained and certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and one of only a few EFT supervisors in this country. I pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy in the UK and have been organising EFT training in London since 2009 with Gail Palmer (co-founder of the EFT approach) and Scott Woolley, international trainers and close associates of Sue Johnson, actively participating in all stages of EFT training.
I am Director of EFT International School, which leads and conducts Annual EFT International Summer Schools and other EFT trainings.
What happens next?
If you are interested in meeting with me, please get in touch by email or leave me a brief phone message, giving your name, telephone, e-mail details and when is the best time to call back. I will always try to return your call promptly and we can have a 20min Free introductory confidential conversation about your situation. If I think that I may be able to help, we will arrange to meet for an initial assessment session where we outline and assess the situation, explore what you would like and hope to get out of counselling, if we both feel comfortable working together, and any questions you might have.
Based on the outcome of the initial meeting, we may agree to start counselling. It will be important to build a sense of continuity and regularity in our working relationship. I will set aside a convenient dedicated weekly time slot for you for the duration of counselling, and which no one else can take. I work in two ways with one hour sessions (including note-taking), or for 1h 20min when people want/need sessions of longer duration.
Alternatively, we may decide that some other forms of help may be more useful for you and we will find together the best way to proceed. If for any reason you decide not to continue with me I can always refer you to another experienced and trusted colleague.
My consulting rooms are in Central London Harley St (just off Oxford St behind John Lewis), Bond St/Oxford Circus tube, and also 7-10 minutes walk from from London Bridge tube station close to Southwark, Waterloo, Tower Bridge and City area, South West London, with excellent transport links and on-street parking and car-parks nearby.
Training, qualifications & experience
My first career in Moscow was as a medical doctor, paediatrician and clinical neurologist, with PostGraduate qualifications in child development and neuropathology. I moved to the UK in 1993 and later on retrained in Systemic therapy, Psychodynamic approach, Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Early Attachment and Psychopathology, and as a Psychosexual therapist.
- Pediatrician, Clinical neurologist, clinical ordinature/residency, Post-qualifying training in Pediatrics and Child Neuropathology, State Medical University, Kazan/Moscow, Russia
- PostGrad Diploma in Relationship and Psychosexual therapy, Certificate in Couple counselling, Relate Institute, London
- MSc in Psychosexual Therapy and Relationship, Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationship, London
- ICEEFT Certified Emotionally Focused couple therapist (EFT) and supervisor, ICEEFT, Canada
I am in regular clinical supervision and undertake regular professional training on various aspects of therapy.
I am UKCP registered, Accred. COSRT (British Association-College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists), registered member of BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy), and ICEEFT (International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Canada).
I follow and abide by their Code of Practice and Ethics.
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
I specialise in Emotionally Focused therapy (EFT) for couples and individuals
Various sexual problems and symptoms including sexual performance concerns, erectile and ejaculatory difficulties, problems with desire, arousal, issues related to internet/porno addictions,
Prior to therapy there is a Free 20min confidential introductory telephone consultation to enable you to ask practical questions and decide if you would feel comfortable working with me.
Vary depending on the length of the sessions wanted or needed
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client