Your first session guide: easing worry before starting therapy

If you’re reading this, the chances are you’ve been wanting to start therapy, but that little voice in your mind has been holding you back. Maybe you’ve been overthinking about what to expect or what to say in your first therapy session. 

I hear you. It can be daunting. But the thing is, you don’t need a script, just a plan. Here’s a little guide to help you feel more prepared and settled before having your first therapy session.

Before your session: the practical prep

1. Set a reminder

This is a big step, and it can feel hard to focus on anything else. To save mental energy and stress, put a calendar alert or phone reminder. Knowing you're organised can help relax the nervous system and help you focus on other things.

2. Check your logistics

The more you are familiar with the process of joining the session, the less you risk unnecessary stress. If online, test your video link and microphone ahead of time. If in-person, check directions, parking, or public transport.

3. Set the scene 

It’s important you feel safe during the session, so if you’re online, find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed. Have a glass of water nearby. Keep a notepad and pen if you like to jot down thoughts.

The mental prep: what to talk about

1. Self check-in

In the first session, it can feel hard to know where to begin. To help you stay connected to what’s going on for you, write a list of 3–5 words describing how you’re feeling right now. If helpful for you, you can bring this with you as a prompt.

To support you in making the most of the session, it can be helpful to identify one goal or intention for the session. Ask yourself: "What do I want to gain from going to this session?" Even something small, like “I want to feel heard”.

2. Permission slip

Give yourself permission to not have all the answers yet and to pause or take a moment if needed. You don’t have to talk about everything all at once; give yourself time to feel safe in the process. You will know when you feel ready to talk about that.

3. Self-compassion tip

Remember, it’s normal to feel nervous or unsure. You’re taking a huge step in your personal growth journey, and it can feel daunting. Growth is not meant to feel comfortable, but going through that is where the magic happens.

During your session: what to notice

Communication and chemistry

Is your therapist listening? Did you feel understood? Are you feeling safe, respected, and not judged?

Your own comfort

Check in with your body – how does your body feel in their presence? Are you starting to feel more comfortable with your therapist? Are you able to share what you planned to share?

Extra tip

It’s normal for emotions to come up, like crying, relief, or maybe even tension, as you explore certain themes. For some, it’s an important part of the process. Your therapist will hold that space for you so you don’t have to handle those emotions alone.

After your session: time to reflect

Take a few minutes to notice. During the session, how did your body and posture feel? It’s normal to feel a little tense at first, but did you find yourself relaxing into the session? (relaxing = good sign).

Did you notice yourself talking without rehearsing your words? Did you feel comfortable speaking freely? Is this something that you see getting better over time? (speaking freely = good sign).

What did you find helpful or most supportive about the session? Are there any questions or topics you’d like to explore next time? Did you leave feeling curious and comfortable to continue? An option that can be helpful is to jot down any changes in mood, energy, or insight.

It’s important you feel in control of the sessions, to go at your own pace and direction. Sometimes the session can go a little off focus from what you wanted to explore, that’s actually really normal. 

If this happened, maybe make a note of this and bring it back to your therapist, so you can work together in a way that feels meaningful to you.

Next steps: starting your personal development journey

If, after reading through this, you feel a little more confident to take that step, you can book a consultation call to ask questions and check if you're a good fit with your therapist. From there, you can get yourself booked in for your first session.

Remember, therapy is a process, and this is just the first step, so feeling a bit nervous is completely normal.