Why wants, needs and routines matter for well-being

Let's face it, the world can be loud, and the noise can sometimes be completely and utterly overwhelming. I can't remember one time someone said to me, "Well done" for resting, for doing nothing, or for doing the things I need to – things we often regard as mundane. Things like brushing your teeth or washing your face. 

Yet, I argue that incorporating our wants and needs into our daily routine is massively important for our well-being. Here are five reasons why.

1. We operate in seasons

Ever heard the expression "I don't know whether I'm coming or going"? That's often how our body feels. By taking time for breakfast, brushing our teeth, and having our morning cuppa, we're developing a routine that says, "It's morning, time to wake up."

The same applies to our nighttime routine – taking 30 minutes to an hour to relax without screens tells our body it's nighttime and time to rest. For me, this looks like enjoying a warm bath, practising some gentle stretches, and reading a book. It's amazing how these small rituals can signal to my body that it's time to wind down.

2. Routines help our bodies feel safe

Doing the mundane helps our bodies anticipate what happens next. When we establish a routine, our brains can relax into the predictability of it all. I recall working with a client who struggled with anxiety; establishing a simple morning routine helped them feel more grounded and prepared for the day ahead. It's not about being rigid; it's about creating a framework that supports us.

3. Enjoyable routines help us relax

Making time for things we enjoy is, well, enjoyable! When we incorporate enjoyable things into our routine, our bodies relax. We're better problem solvers when we relax and let go. The brain is clever and will continue to problem-solve in the background. For instance, I love listening to music while I walk – it's my me-time, and it sets a positive tone for the day.

4. Routines help us develop our personality

Trying new things helps us learn more about ourselves, what we like, and what we don't. I thought I'd find keeping tropical fish lovely and relaxing; long story short, it wasn't, and I didn't. But that experience taught me more about what brings me joy and calm – turns out it's more about being in nature or practising mindfulness.

5. Routines fuel our day

Routines give us the fuel we need for the day – physical fuel like food or sleep, and emotional fuel like joy, spontaneity, and a sense of priority. When we prioritise our wants and needs, we're more resilient and better equipped to handle life's challenges.

So, how do we meet our emotional needs? Start small. Incorporate one small change into your routine and continue to add short bursts of time that meet your needs. Maybe it's taking a few minutes each morning to journal or savouring a cup of tea in peace. For me, it's about being intentional – asking myself, "What do I need today?" and listening to the answer.

Routines can help manage stress and anxiety by providing a sense of control. When life feels chaotic, having a routine can be a comforting anchor. Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. When we prioritise our needs, we're more likely to show up fully in our relationships and work.

You can start by identifying what you enjoy and what's nourishing for you. Maybe it's reading, walking, or simply enjoying a quiet cuppa. Schedule these things into your day, even if it's just 10 minutes. And remember, it's okay to adjust your routine as needed – life is dynamic, and our needs change.

Incorporating our wants and needs into our daily routine isn't about adding more to our to-do list; it's about living more intentionally. By doing so, we can cultivate a sense of calm, creativity, and connection – to ourselves and others.

So, what small change will you make today? I bet once you start, you will begin to notice they end up as big changes.