Work-related stress

Regulation: Underrated leadership skill

Written by D. du Plooy

Published 24th June 2025

Have you heard of self-regulation? Or maybe the term happy hormones? You might be wondering, what do these have to do with leadership or running a business?

Everything.

This article's a bit longer, and yes, we’re going to touch on some science. But bear with me. It all connects, and it’s all really important.

The world is changing. Fast.

In today’s ever-shifting world, we’re dealing with more uncertainty than ever: constant tech updates, changing customer expectations, global competition, and then there’s our personal lives. We’re expected to keep up, perform, adapt, lead.

It’s no wonder we’re overwhelmed! The reality? To thrive, we need to learn how to regulate ourselves better…and faster. Let’s explore why this matters and how we can do it.

The body–business connection

We all have a nervous system. It’s our built-in communication system, sending chemical messages (hormones) around our body to coordinate how we think, feel, and act. Some of these hormones are associated with stress (like cortisol and adrenaline), and others are linked to joy, motivation, and bonding (like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins — aka the happy hormones).

Why talk about this in the context of leadership? Because our body is the vessel we lead from. If our body is dysregulated, our mind follows. And if our mind is struggling, how can we possibly make strong decisions, build thriving teams, or lead with vision?

The nervous system 101 (without the jargon)

We have an autonomic nervous system (ANS) with two branches:

Sympathetic: fight or flight — gets us ready to act and react.
Parasympathetic: rest and digest — helps us calm, recover, and reset.

Think of your nervous system like a wave fluctuating slightly above and below a “0” line, between the systems. A healthy, regulated body moves within a small range, maybe up or down by 10 points. That’s normal. That’s manageable.

But then… bam. Something stressful happens. Your wave spikes 100 points up. That spike often comes with a sharp crash down. And the more this happens, the harder it becomes to recover. This is when we start living in chronic stress.

The cost of being dysregulated

When we’re constantly operating from a place of survival, the effects show up in our health and behaviour:

You dread checking your inbox.
You enter conversations on the defensive.
You procrastinate to avoid potential failure.
You snap quicker, or can’t switch off.
You feel unwell more often, struggling to recover.
Your sleep is broken. Your digestion is off.
Your body is tense. Your breath is shallow.

This isn’t just stress. It’s dysregulation. It means your body is stuck in a survival loop, and it impacts everything. Including your ability to lead.

So, what does this have to do with leadership?

Everything.

Being regulated allows you to:

Respond instead of react.
Communicate calmly and clearly.
Lead your team through change without spiralling.
Build strong relationships.
Make thoughtful decisions, not panic moves.
Bounce back quicker when things go wrong.

Self-regulation supports not just your well-being, but your effectiveness as a leader. It’s how you become resilient and relational: two cornerstones of modern leadership.

How do you regulate yourself?

Let’s dive into the happy hormones, and how to increase them. Think of these as your personal toolkit for daily balance.

1. Dopamine — The motivation molecule

Boosts pleasure, achievement, and reward.

Try:

a nourishing meal
uplifting music
completing a task
creative projects
a good laugh

2. Serotonin — The mood stabiliser

Regulates sleep, appetite, and mood.

Try:

sunlight
time in nature
movement
quality sleep
gratitude journaling

3. Oxytocin — The connection hormone

Builds trust, love, and empathy.

Try:

physical affection
meaningful conversations
giving compliments or gifts
shared activities with loved ones

4. Endorphins — The natural pain relievers

Reduces discomfort and stress.

Try:

exercise (yes, a brisk walk counts, but not while on the phone)
laughing with others
music and dance
being creative and playful

Food, sleep, breath: Your everyday anchors

Food — Not just fuel, but a mood stabiliser. Cooking and sharing meals trigger all four happy hormones.

Sleep — Essential for restoring the nervous system. Sleep deprivation increases cortisol and reduces recovery.

Breathing — Deep, slow breaths restore balance and increase Heart Rate Variability (HRV). A higher HRV = stronger recovery.

Fun fact: breathing is one of the fastest ways to signal safety to your body. Try this: inhale for five, hold for five, exhale for five. Repeat. Maybe try tapping your fingers while counting.

You’re wired by what you repeat

Neural pathways are built through repetition. That means regulation practices aren’t for when you’re already burnt out; they’re for before.

On a personal note, daily check-ins help me stay on track. I tune into my thoughts, breath, body tension, and heart rate. I do this daily, try to anyway, I’m only human. Sometimes I do it while pushing a trolley while food shopping. This builds awareness, and from awareness, I can respond, not react.

Regulation is a leadership skill

If we want to build strong businesses, lead healthy teams, and make wise decisions, we have to start with our own vessel. Self-regulation isn’t fluffy or a nice perk. It’s foundational. It’s essential. And it might just be your most powerful leadership tool.

Let’s build resilience from the inside out, breath by breath, step by step, hormone by hormone.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Counselling Directory. Articles are reviewed by our editorial team and offer professionals a space to share their ideas with respect and care.