Why can't I sleep – could neurodivergence be a factor?

Sleep is such a fundamental part of everyone’s daily functioning, but many things can disrupt our sleep patterns and schedules.

The list of reasons is complex and not a simple solution.

Sleep can be impacted by a number of things, including: 

• trauma and flashbacks
• change of medication
• menopause
• ADHD
• ASD
• addictions
• becoming a parent
• changes such as moving house, divorce or a family death
• natural disturbances, such as your partner's snoring

We do know that having ADHD or being autistic can present its own set of challenges when it comes to sleep. These can be discussed in counselling, where strategies to help ease some of the difficulties can be explored.

Neurodivergent sleep challenges

The brain is a complex organ, and switching it off can be harder when we experience the hyperactive side of ADHD or anxiety linked to autism.

People may find themselves struggling with:

• switching off the brain and thinking about everything on their to-do list
• addictive screen time at night (hyperfocus)
• anxiety, such as replaying conversations, especially in light of possible rejection sensitivity
• craving personal downtime when daytime feels so busy and restricted/controlled
• summer light waking an already 'awake' brain
• winter mornings and grogginess
• a natural night owl sleep pattern, which is not conducive to fit with the working patterns of the majority population (the 9-5)
• any change of routine, where sleep hygiene is good at home, but worse when away
• reduced melatonin (which may be prescribed if formally diagnosed with ADHD/ASD)
• waking up multiple times a night

How can counselling help?

Talking through the issues and receiving validation without judgement can help us feel less alone in our sleep struggles. It also helps to dig down and identify exactly what the cause or unique combination of causes may be.

Whilst we cannot fully strategise ourselves out of ADHD and autistic traits, we can look at strategies as a combination to minimise and soothe the anxiety surrounding sleep and help in small ways to achieve something better regarding sleep hygiene.

Practical strategies to try

Initially, identifying the issues and having compassion and validation helps, but having specific tools to try and a plan in place can be equally important.

Some of the following strategies may help:

• using sunrise alarm clocks placed out of reach from the bed
• limiting screen time at bedtime
• plugging the phone in away from the bed
• using audible/bilateral music or podcasts, if needed, to have the brain distracted

For some, this may keep the brain too active, so we may consider using meditation or sleep-story-style apps.

For some clients, having a notepad next to the bed helps them know they do not have to hold something all night for fear of forgetting it in the morning.

Others may find allowing themselves the space to cry helps to release pent-up anxiety or emotion from the day. Even getting out of bed and doing some gentle stretches and yoga can help. Journaling can also help with rumination and anxious thoughts – there are some great apps where we can voice-note or record video as opposed to just typing, which may be better if you have co-morbid dyslexia.

Some of the old soothing techniques work: weighted blankets, cuddly toys, hot drinks (decaffeinated), and hot water bottles to create a sense of security.

For many, the bladder can be a cause of waking at night. Forgetting to drink until the evening will cause the bladder to be fuller at night; again, working on strategies around daytime hydration is useful.

Bilateral music, out of all these strategies and ideas, is one to try, as some people find it soothing. It works through sounds alternating between the left and right ears, similar to the bilateral stimulation used in EMDR therapy.

Those diagnosed with ADHD or ASD may be prescribed Melatonin by their doctor, which can aid sleep.

Overall, sleep issues can sometimes be part and parcel of ADHD and autism, so it can be helpful to find the strategies that work best for you. Whilst these may not be a perfect solution, they can help support better sleep over time.

Then, if you notice your sleep has taken a turn for the worse again, you can put your sleep plan back into action. As with many aspects of ADHD and autism, maintaining routines and strategies is not always easy, and sometimes a reset can help.