When anxiety is a messenger, not a malfunction

We’re often taught to think of anxiety as something that’s gone wrong. A fault in the system. A malfunction of the brain or body that needs to be silenced or fixed. But what if anxiety isn’t a malfunction at all? What if it’s a messenger?

Is anxiety always a problem?

Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. It shows up in racing thoughts, sleepless nights, tight chests, and an unshakable sense that something’s not right. But when we slow down and begin to look underneath the surface, anxiety often reveals itself not as the problem, but as a signal pointing toward a deeper truth.

What might anxiety be trying to tell us?

Anxiety can arise when something in our lives isn’t aligned – when a relationship feels off, when we’re living by someone else’s expectations, or when we’ve been ignoring a quiet longing inside ourselves.

Sometimes anxiety points to:

• a need that hasn’t been acknowledged
• a boundary that’s being crossed
• a part of life that no longer fits
• a transition we haven’t fully stepped into
• a truth we’ve been too busy (or too afraid) to face

In many cases, the anxiety itself isn’t the issue. It’s the messenger. The tension we feel is the signal, letting us know that something in us wants attention, compassion, or change.

What happens when we try to fight anxiety?

Many of us have been conditioned to treat anxiety as something to suppress. We distract ourselves, try to stay busy, or push the feelings away. And while this can work in the short term, it often leaves the underlying causes untouched.

Avoidance can also shrink our lives. We might stop doing things that matter to us – turning down opportunities, avoiding social situations, or staying stuck in jobs or routines that don’t fulfil us. The more we avoid what we fear, the more powerful the anxiety becomes.

This is where therapeutic approaches like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can offer a radically different path.

ACT and a new approach to anxiety

ACT doesn’t aim to eliminate anxiety. Instead, it helps us change our relationship with it. We learn to notice our anxious thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them – and to take action toward what matters, even when anxiety is present.

Here are some key ACT-based tools that can help:

1. Name what you’re feeling (and make space for it)

Rather than pushing anxiety away, try gently naming it.

“I’m noticing that I feel anxious right now.”

This simple shift can help you observe your experience without getting caught up in it.

Next, try making space for it. Anxiety may show up as a tight chest, a flutter in the stomach, or a rushing mind. What happens if you breathe into it, soften around it, and let it be there without resistance?

2. Ask: What might this feeling be pointing to?

Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this?”, try asking: “What is this anxiety asking me to look at?”

Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding? A conversation you need to have? A value you’ve drifted away from?

Anxiety often emerges when something important is being neglected – sometimes something tender, vulnerable, or new that’s ready to grow.

3. Anchor yourself in the present moment

Anxiety pulls us into the future – into imagined scenarios, what-ifs, and worst-case outcomes. One way to steady yourself is to come back to your senses. Try asking:

What can I see, hear, feel, or touch right now?
Can I notice the ground beneath me, or the rhythm of my breath?

These simple grounding techniques can help calm the nervous system and remind you that you are here. You are safe in this moment.

4. Reconnect with what matters to you

ACT teaches that we don’t need to wait for anxiety to disappear before we take meaningful steps forward. In fact, acting on our values with the anxiety can be deeply healing.

Ask yourself:

• What matters most to me right now?
• What kind of person do I want to be in this situation?
• If anxiety wasn’t in charge, what would I choose to do?

Sometimes the most powerful act is a small one – sending the message, going for the walk, making the art, or saying the thing that matters.

What if anxiety is an invitation to grow?

When we begin to listen to anxiety rather than resist it, it can open up new pathways of self-understanding. We may discover long-neglected needs, untapped strengths, or unspoken truths. We may also begin to realise that anxiety isn’t the enemy – it’s a sign that we care. That we’re alive. That something in us is asking for deeper attention.

Anxiety, then, becomes less of a problem to fix and more of a doorway. A signal from the deeper parts of us that we’re ready to come home to ourselves – and to live more fully, more freely, and more truthfully.

You don’t have to navigate it alone

Therapy can be a place to explore your experience of anxiety in a compassionate, non-judgemental space. Whether you’re dealing with long-term anxiety or a recent sense of overwhelm, it’s possible to find steadiness again – and to discover that the very thing you’ve been fighting might just have something important to tell you.