What is anxiety, really? (And why it doesn’t mean you’re broken)

If anxiety’s been trailing you around like an unwanted shadow, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. You’re human. A human whose nervous system is firing off warnings.

As a counsellor, I see anxiety show up in all kinds of ways — sometimes loud and obvious, other times quiet and sneaky. It can feel like panic, unease, racing thoughts, or just a vague sense that something’s wrong.

Let’s unpack what anxiety really is, how it shows up, and why understanding it is the first step to getting some control back.

So, what is anxiety?

Your body’s alarm system lies at the heart of anxiety.

It’s designed to protect you, like when your ancestors faced wild animals or danger. Your brain senses a threat, and your body kicks into gear: heart races, muscles tense, breathing quickens. That’s your fight-or-flight system saying, “Move. Now.”

Today, the "threat" might be a job interview, a tough conversation, or even just silence after a text. But your body often reacts the same way.

In small doses, anxiety helps. It keeps you alert and focused. But when it sticks around or flares up without a clear reason, it becomes a problem.

Anxiety doesn’t always look the same

Forget movie-style panic attacks. Anxiety wears many masks. Sometimes it’s a scream. Sometimes a whisper.

1. Physical symptoms

Anxiety often shows up in your body. Common signs include:

• pounding heart
• tight chest or short breath
• muscle tension (hello jaw pain and stiff shoulders)
• upset stomach
• dizziness
• exhaustion
• trouble sleeping

Many people first go to a doctor thinking they’re sick, only to learn it’s anxiety showing up as stress.

2. Mental symptoms

Your brain can feel hijacked:

• constant worry
• worst-case scenarios
• overthinking every little thing
• struggling to decide
• trouble focusing

It’s like your mind is on overdrive, scanning for danger that may not be there.

3. Emotional symptoms

Emotions often ride shotgun with anxiety:

• feeling on edge
• irrational fear
• dread, even when nothing’s wrong
• easily overwhelmed
• emotionally numb or shut down

Some people don’t even realise they’re anxious. They just think they’re moody or can’t cope. But anxiety is often the root.

4. Behavioural symptoms

Anxiety affects how you act:

• avoiding people or situations
• constantly asking for reassurance
• procrastinating or chasing perfection
• compulsive habits or rituals
• people-pleasing to avoid conflict

These behaviours are ways to soothe the discomfort but often end up feeding the anxiety instead.

Why anxiety happens

While anxiety can stem from various sources, several common factors contribute to its development:

1. Biology and brain chemistry

Some brains are just wired to be more sensitive to threats. Factors such as genetics, brain structure, and chemical imbalances can contribute to this tendency.

2. Life experiences

Early trauma, bullying, stress, or chronic pressure can train your brain to expect danger — even when it’s not there.

3. Personality

Empathetic, sensitive, or responsible individuals often experience more anxiety. They care deeply and think ahead — a strength, until it tips into overdrive.

4. Environment and lifestyle

High stress, lack of sleep, too much caffeine, or zero downtime can all fuel anxiety.

What anxiety is not

Let’s bust a few myths:

• It’s not a weakness.
• It doesn’t mean you’re broken.
• It’s not something you can “just get over.”

And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Anxiety is your brain trying too hard to keep you safe. It’s overprotection — not failure.

What you can do about it

You don’t have to live with constant stress or fear. Anxiety is manageable and help is out there.

1. Call it what it is

Start paying attention. Where do you feel anxiety in your body? When does it show up? Naming it gives you power. “This is my anxiety” is more grounding than “Something’s wrong.”

2. Breathe (really)

Most people with anxiety breathe too shallow. Deep belly breaths signal safety to your nervous system.

3. Question the thoughts

Not every anxious thought is true. Ask: “Is this realistic? Is this helpful?” Therapy can help you address negative thoughts.

4. Move your body

Anxiety is energy. Movement helps. Walk, stretch, dance, punch a pillow — whatever helps get you back into your body.

5. Reach out

You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy offers tools, support, and clarity. There’s no one-size-fits-all fix, but there is a way through.

Final word: You’re not “too much” — you’re tuned in

Anxiety can feel like too much. But it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your system is sensitive and wired for awareness. That’s not a flaw. That’s part of being human.

You deserve to feel safe and calm in your own mind. Whether anxiety is a low hum or a blaring alarm, relief is possible.

Ready to stop letting anxiety call the shots?

If you’re tired of overthinking, burning out, or constantly second-guessing, therapy can help. No judgment. No pressure. Just support.

Let’s quiet the chaos and make space for calm, clarity, and confidence. Get in touch with a therapist today. You don’t have to figure it out alone.