Understanding perinatal OCD and demystifying intrusive thoughts

Welcome! If you’re reading this, you might be navigating the challenging waters of perinatal OCD or perhaps you are supporting someone who is. Let’s take a moment to talk about this often misunderstood condition, particularly focusing on the frightening aspect of intrusive thoughts and how these thoughts do not reflect a person's true intentions.

What is perinatal OCD?

Perinatal OCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that can occur during pregnancy or in the postpartum period. It’s essential to know that many women and birthing people experience these overwhelming thoughts and behaviours. Despite being more common than we might think, perinatal OCD remains shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding, leading to feelings of isolation and confusion.

At its core, perinatal OCD consists of obsessions and compulsions.

Obsessions are intrusive, unwanted thoughts that repeatedly enter your mind. In the context of perinatal OCD, these can often be related to your baby. For example, you might become consumed by fears about something happening to your newborn, such as the fear of suffocation while they sleep or worries about accidental harm during nappy changes. These thoughts can be distressing because they challenge your identity as a loving and protective parent. 

Compulsions are behaviours or mental acts that a person feels compelled to perform in response to the obsession, often to alleviate the anxiety it causes. For instance, if a new parent fears that their baby might choke, they might excessively check if the baby’s formula is properly prepared or frequently adjust the baby’s position. Alternatively, someone might feel the need to keep their baby in sight at all times, leading to compulsive monitoring.

Compulsions can sometimes also manifest in less baby-related ways, such as needing to clean or organise excessively to combat the anxiety generated by these intrusive thoughts. A parent might feel compelled to sanitise all surfaces in their home or check appliances repeatedly, fearing they could somehow harm their baby.

Understanding intrusive thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and distressing ideas that pop into your mind unexpectedly. For someone with perinatal OCD, these thoughts can revolve around fears of harming the baby, not being a good parent or other worries such as health and safety concerns. It is crucial to underline that having these thoughts does not mean you will act on them; they are not a reflection of your true self or your intentions as a parent.

Many individuals report feeling frightened or ashamed by these thoughts, believing they indicate a deeper flaw in their character. This misinformation can lead to isolation because people often fear sharing their experiences with others, worried about being judged or misunderstood. However, it’s essential to recognise that these thoughts are a symptom of the disorder and not a representation of who you are as a person. 

Don't suffer in silence

One of the most detrimental aspects of perinatal OCD is the silence surrounding it. Many new parents feel they must put on a brave face and hide their struggles, even from close friends and family. They may think, “If I talk about this, people will think I’m a bad parent,” or “Other parents don’t feel this way.” This silence perpetuates a cycle of isolation and shame.

The truth is, many parents experience intrusive thoughts and the intense fear they bring. By talking openly about these feelings, we can start to normalise them and ensure that those affected know they aren’t alone. Engaging in conversations and sharing experiences creates a supportive environment where individuals can feel understood and less isolated.

The science behind intrusive thoughts

Understanding the nature of intrusive thoughts can help demystify them. Scientifically, these thoughts are linked to anxiety. When you become a parent, your brain enters a hyper-alert state, constantly on the lookout for potential dangers to your child.

This protective instinct can lead to intrusive thoughts as your mind tries to process concerns about your new responsibilities. Recognising this can help you see that these thoughts are not your fault and do not reflect on your intentions.

Coping strategies

So, where do we go from here? How can one begin to cope with these intrusive thoughts? Here are a few strategies that may help:

1. Educate yourself

Understanding perinatal OCD and intrusive thoughts can remove some of the mystery and fear surrounding them. Knowledge is power.

2. Talk about it

Find trusted friends, family, or support groups willing to listen. Just talking about your thoughts can alleviate some of the distress and isolation.

3. Seek professional help

A mental health professional experienced in treating OCD can provide support tailored to your specific needs. Therapy can effectively help you tackle intrusive thoughts.

4. Practice mindfulness

Engaging in mindfulness can help you learn to observe your thoughts without judgment. This technique can foster a sense of calm and help you detach from the fear associated with these thoughts.

5. Be kind to yourself

Remember, becoming a parent is a huge shift in your life. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling without judgment. 

Final thoughts

If you find yourself struggling with perinatal OCD, know that you are not defined by these intrusive thoughts. They are a part of a temporary condition, not a reflection of your intentions or abilities as a parent. By breaking the silence and seeking support, you can find a path toward healing.

However, it’s important to recognise that some people may not fully understand what you are experiencing. The stigma surrounding these thoughts can sometimes lead to reactions that may feel unhelpful or dismissive, especially when fears about harming your baby are involved. This lack of understanding can make it harder to open up. Sharing this article with loved ones can be a helpful way to explain your experience and educate them about perinatal OCD.

Remember, psychological professionals are trained to recognise and address these concerns without judgment, and you can rely on their support. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a powerful step toward understanding and overcoming your challenges.