Understanding depression: How it feels and how to cope

Everyone goes through periods when they feel upset or down. Often, these feelings are tied to a specific reason and don’t disrupt daily life too much. If these feelings last for weeks or months, or become so overwhelming that they affect all parts of your life, it could be a sign of depression - and it's important to seek help.

What does depression feel like?

Depression manifests differently for everyone. No single experience or person can fully capture how it alters lives. I have struggled with depression in the past. My own journey has given me deep insight into the challenges my clients face, making my career not just a job, but a purpose.

Some describe depression as something that takes hold in several ways: deep loneliness combined with near-constant anxiety, or the complete opposite - numbness, an absence of all feeling.

The loneliness, fear, and anxiety

Many people describe depression as an overwhelming feeling that takes over, leaving them on the verge of tears. It's like a deep, heavy weight that they carry around with them. On the outside, they might be laughing, alert, even the life of the party - but inside, they feel completely desolate. And perhaps the hardest part? Believing that no one could ever understand.

Even when surrounded by people who care, depression twists reality. It makes them feel cut off and isolated, even in the middle of love and support.

Then there is anxiety - that constant, restless urge to make the pain stop. The desperate need to escape, to run, to hide, to do something that might bring a moment of relief. The mind races, overthinking every detail, bracing for things that may never happen. Always waiting for disaster, always on edge, like they must be ready for the worst at any moment, constantly on edge, worried, or scared, and it can be hard to go out or be around others.

Anxiety can also show up physically, such as:

• a dry mouth
• sweating or trembling
• feeling breathless
• a churning stomach or nausea
• difficulty sleeping

How can feeling nothing cause so much pain?

A numbness - not quite pain, but the absence of everything. It’s that feeling where nothing really matters. No happiness, no sadness - just emptiness. A lot of people describe it as being on autopilot, just going through the motions, doing what they have to do, but without any real energy, excitement, or motivation. It’s all about survival.

Nothing feels enjoyable anymore. They lose interest in seeing people, drift away from friends, and struggle to focus or make decisions. Even simple choices feel overwhelming. Over time, this can chip away at self-confidence, and for some, it leads to feeling hopeless - like they’ll never feel anything or enjoy life again.

Sometimes, numbness is a way of coping - a shield against feelings that are too overwhelming to deal with. But the thing about depression is that it tends to stick around and, for many people, it comes and goes throughout life. That’s why it’s so important to recognise the signs early. With the right support, tools, and strategies, it can be managed - and sometimes, you can stop it before it takes over completely.

The power of talking therapy

We all need reassurance that things will be OK. Counselling provides that by offering a safe, honest, and supportive space to heal. It also helps us recognise unhelpful or unrealistic ways of thinking and guides us in developing more positive and healthy thoughts and behaviours. Plus, counselling can help us understand how past experiences might still be impacting our lives today.

No one should have to feel alone, empty, or overwhelmed. Talking therapy works - I am proof of that. It changed my life. I worked hard, and I had a counsellor who walked with me every step of the way. Now, I do the same for my clients, helping them navigate their own journeys toward healing and hope.