The signals we learn to ignore: neurodivergence and interoception

There is a word for the way your body talks to you. It’s interoception. It’s the internal sense that signals hunger, pain, temperature, fatigue and more. That feeling of being alive inside your own skin. It sits alongside our other senses such as sight, sound and touch, but it receives far less attention. For neurodivergent people, though, it can be one of the most significant.

How interoception can work differently for neurodivergent people

Research suggests that for some autistic people, people with ADHD, people with AuDHD, and other neurodivergent people, the interoceptive system might work differently.

Signals can be muted; present but faint, easy to miss until they become impossible to ignore (think hunger or a full bladder). Or they can be amplified; overwhelming and difficult to filter. We might move between these states across a single day, depending on environment, energy levels and what else is going on.

This means recognising hunger might only happen when it becomes genuine distress. Pain might go unnoticed until it demands attention. Emotional states such as stress, anxiety and anger might only register once they've already peaked.

Other times, the opposite is true. Every signal feels loud. A slight discomfort becomes unbearable. Inner signals blast into our awareness, causing high stress and anxiety.

Both experiences, ‘too little’ and ‘too much’, can make daily life genuinely exhausting.

When we learn not to trust what we sense

There's a layer underneath the interoceptive difference itself that sometimes gets missed. What happens when you've been taught not to trust your own internal signals?

For many neurodivergent people, a lifetime of external feedback has done exactly that. Being told you're too sensitive, that you're overreacting, that others don't find things as difficult. That your inner world needs external verification before it counts.

When I was a teenage hospital inpatient, a nurse told me I had a low pain threshold. In that moment, my inner experience was named for me with confidence, and I believed them. After all, they were medical, and they knew what they were talking about. I learned to dismiss my own version of that experience, to push through, to assume I was probably overreacting. Like many neurodivergent people, I repeated that pattern over and over, for decades.

Recently, I powered through what I thought was a cold. I was exhausted, but I'm often exhausted, so I kept going. It turned out to be glandular fever. The signals had been there. I had just learned, over many years, not to trust them.

This pattern is not unusual for neurodivergent people. A lifetime of misattunement, of being told that what you experience isn't quite right, can quietly erode the trust you have in your own inner workings. The signals arrive. But self-trust has been trained away.

The psychological impact

The consequences of this disconnection run deep. When we can't trust our internal experience, we override genuine needs such as rest, nourishment, boundaries and support. We push through when our body is asking us to stop. We dismiss distress until it becomes a crisis.

This pattern can contribute to burnout, anxiety and the sustained depletion that many late-identified neurodivergent adults describe. It can also be connected to masking: performing wellness or capability when things internally are anything but fine.

The exhaustion of not trusting what you feel is real and significant. This isn't a personal failing. It's the result of being consistently taught to doubt your own inner experience.

Rebuilding interoceptive trust

Connection to interoceptive signals can be rebuilt. But it tends to happen slowly, and the starting point is noticing. Observing the present moment and naming what’s coming up. Are you tired, energetic, hungry, restless, calm?

Being a neutral witness to your own experience without immediately judging whether it’s right or not; that’s where this work begins. Not asking "Should I feel this way?" but rather "What am I actually noticing right now?"

Some things that can help include:

Check in with your body regularly

Simple body check-ins throughout the day. Pausing to notice hunger, tension, temperature, energy, without immediately acting on or dismissing the information.

Create space to notice how you feel

Slowing down and giving yourself time between activities to notice how you're actually feeling rather than moving immediately from one demand to the next.

Explore your experiences with professional support

Working with a therapist familiar with neurodivergence to explore the relational experiences that may have contributed to a learned distrust of your own signals.

Reconnect through gentle body-based practices

Gentle movement, breathwork or somatic practices that bring attention back into the body without overwhelm.

The goal isn't perfect attunement to every signal. It's gradually building enough trust in your own inner experience to respond with care and validation.

You are the only person with access to your inner world

No one else has the data on your inner experience. Not the people who told you that you were overreacting. Not those who said you were too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. You and only you.

What you experience is your truth. Every single time. Rebuilding trust in that truth, after years of being told it wasn't quite right, is some of the most important work there is.

If any of this resonates, you don't have to unpick it alone. Working with a therapist who understands neurodivergence means you won't have to explain what it feels like to not trust your own inner signals.