The many faces of anxiety

Life can be complicated as we encounter obstacles ranging from dealing with uncertainties on a daily basis to striving for 100% perfection. These challenges can significantly influence our journey through various life experiences. For a counsellor like myself, it is essential to comprehend and tackle these issues to effectively support clients' growth and overall well-being. This article delves into how fears of the unknown and fear of failure lurk in the shadows, limiting action.

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Pursuing perfection, heightened vigilance, the desire for control, self-doubt, stress and emotional dysregulation all interplay and impact an individual's existence in both corporate and private life. This article is a journey from fear to calmness in reaching the life you seek. The best journeys are made with a knowledgeable guide alongside you.


The feeling of uncertainty

Fear of the unfamiliar stemming from past encounters can become a psychological obstacle that may appear in different forms. This apprehension frequently arises from a lack of certainty and the incapacity to foresee results. It has the potential to cause anxiety and behaviours of avoidance that hinder individuals from taking advantage of prospects that otherwise could be achievable.

Counsellors assist individuals in creating mechanisms for dealing with uncertainty that empower them to welcome ambiguity and hold promise for change. Gradually encouraging individuals to push beyond their surroundings and equipping them with strategies to cope with their worries can spark transformation, offering hope and optimism. Strategies like mindfulness practices, gradual exposure exercises, and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) have shown promise in alleviating the apprehension of situations you face.

Striving for lawlessness – safeguarding oneself

Striving for perfection is commonly viewed as a trait that can lead to success, but it can take a toll when it becomes obsessive and overwhelming. It's important to help individuals distinguish between ambition and harmful perfectionism by promoting self-kindness and applying the 80/20 rule. Establishing a crucial aspect that makes individuals feel cared for and understood by setting goals through cognitive behavioural therapy and reflective exercises.

Remaining constantly alert

Excessive alertness refers to a heightened sensitivity to stimuli and a focus on identifying potential dangers in one's surroundings. This heightened state is often triggered by experiences or prolonged stressors, causing individuals to remain on high alert and constantly monitor their surroundings for threats.

Excessive alertness can significantly hinder a person's capacity to unwind and derive pleasure from life. Seeking counselling can assist individuals in comprehending the underlying reasons for their alertness and devising methods to cope with it. One way to accomplish this is through methods like grounding exercises and trauma-informed therapy while incorporating mindfulness practices to help decrease hypervigilance and foster feelings of safety.

The desire to maintain authority and direction

The desire to maintain control can serve as a way to cope with uncertainty and stress in life situations. Having a level of control is essential for well-being; however, an excessive need for control may result in inflexibility and feelings of dissatisfaction. This tendency can impact areas of one's life such as relationships, career pursuits and personal aspirations. Counselling can help individuals explore the root fears that fuel their urge for control. Assisting individuals in cultivating adaptability and openness using methods like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) as mindfulness can nurture a more harmonious connection with the concept of control.

Worrying about not succeeding

The fear of not succeeding often stops people from pursuing their dreams and ambitions because they believe that failing reflects their value. This fear can result in delaying tasks or avoiding them altogether while causing harm to oneself.

Counselling is essential in assisting individuals in changing their outlook on failure by recognising it as an aspect of development and education. Looking at things and using methods like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), exposure therapy and building resilience skills can help clients confront their fear of failure and make thought-out decisions to help them feel empowered and positively impact their profession.

Feeling unsure about yourself

Feeling uncertain about one's abilities and choices is an experience called self-doubt that can shake confidence and impede career development. Negative self-talk and memories of criticism or setbacks often fuel self-doubt. Therapists assist individuals in combating self-doubt by recognising and changing thoughts. Methods like encouraging statements, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and activities to boost confidence can help build self-belief and lessen self-doubt.

Feelings left unaddressed

Unsettled feelings, like fury or sorrow, can impact a person's well-being. These feelings may come from events and show up in different forms, such as feeling down, anxious, or even physical issues. Therapy offers a setting for individuals to delve into and deal with their lingering emotions.

Imbalance

When someone experiences stress and dysregulation, the body struggles to stay balanced in reaction to unexpected stressors. Long-term stress can cause physical imbalances that impact a person's health. Seeking counselling support can assist individuals in learning ways to manage stress effectively and find equilibrium again. Practices like mindfulness activities, relaxation practices, and adjustments to one's routine can be advantageous in lessening stress levels and fostering stability.


Recognising and tackling these obstacles is crucial not only for the sake of your progress but also for promoting growth and happiness in life. Counselling provides guidance in navigating fears and doubts, coping with feelings of perfectionism, and empowering individuals to live enrichingly and harmoniously. By offering assistance and utilising proven methods, clients can build up their inner strength and discover their capabilities. How could counselling help you?

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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London E1 & Maidenhead SL6
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Written by David Pender
MBACP, Integrative Psychotherapy | Specialising in Anxiety
location_on London E1 & Maidenhead SL6
When stress or anxiety overwhelm us, life can feel like an insurmountable challenge. It’s during these moments that seeking help becomes crucial. Understanding the complexities of our emotions and finding a way forward requires compassionate guidance
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