Self-care isn’t selfish: How caring for yourself helps others

Self-care is the practice of intentionally taking time to nurture and prioritise your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It involves engaging in activities that reduce stress, improve your overall health, help you maintain a positive mindset, and promote feelings of balance, happiness and calm.

It’s important to do self-care activities regularly – even as little as five minutes a day can make a difference. If you think of yourself as a battery, doing self-care helps keep you fully ‘charged’ so you can perform your daily work, chores and other tasks, handle any challenges or problems you face, nurture your relationships with others, and enjoy life.

There are lots of different types of self-care, including:

• Physical self-care, involving taking care of your body through high-quality rest, sleep, nutrition and exercise.
• Mental self-care, including any activities that stimulate or benefit your mind, such as reading, practising mindfulness, learning new skills and/or engaging in creative hobbies.
• Emotional self-care – any practices that help you manage your emotions, like journalling, going to therapy, setting boundaries and practising self-compassion.
• Social self-care, involving nurturing connections with friends, family, loved ones and communities that uplift or support you.
• Spiritual self-care – any activities that nurture a sense of purpose and connection, such as meditation, prayer or spending time in nature.

A misconception I often experience among clients is that self-care is selfish, but actually, the opposite is true! Self-care isn't about self-indulgence or selfishness; it’s about maintaining your health and well-being so you can show up and be fully present for yourself, family, friends, children and work.

Remember the old adage, ‘You can't pour from an empty cup’? This metaphor shows that in order to care for and support others, you need to take care of yourself – by filling up your own cup – first. If you’re depleted, overwhelmed or exhausted, you simply won’t have the energy or resources to help anyone else or perform necessary tasks.

5 reasons why self-care isn't selfish 

Looking after yourself is also good for others because it allows you to be more present, engaged and emotionally available in your work and relationships. Here’s why:

1. It allows you to give more

When you take time for self-care, you have more energy, patience and resilience to support others. It also reduces stress and anxiety, enabling you to be more focused at work and with family and friends. This means you can show up fully, communicate effectively, handle problems, and develop deep, meaningful connections with others.

2. It prevents resentment

Constantly putting others’ needs before your own can lead to burnout, stress and resentment. By prioritising your well-being, you can help others and complete everyday activities without feeling drained.

3. It sets a positive example

Taking care of yourself models healthy boundaries and self-respect, showing others the importance of maintaining mental and emotional health. By focusing on your own well-being, you encourage others to take responsibility for their needs, promoting healthy habits and self-esteem.

4. It creates emotional stability

Doing regular self-care helps you remain calm and balanced during difficult situations. This benefits those around you as you become a stable, supportive presence and are able to manage any conflict or difficulties with calm, confidence and resilience.

5. It spreads positivity

When you feel good, you naturally have a more positive attitude, which improves your interactions and relationships with others. This in turn promotes positive communication and empathy/understanding, helping spread kindness, positivity and happiness more widely.

So there you have it – there’s no need to feel guilty or selfish if you practice self-care! By prioritising your own needs, you not only improve your own well-being but also enhance the support you give others.