Mirror mirror: A changing reflection

It can be incredibly difficult to deal with changes to our body, whether they are due to illness or injury, weight gain or loss, puberty, menopause or ageing. It can feel at times that the person we see in the mirror each morning is the only constant in our lives, so for that to change, it can be distressing.

You may have found yourself looking away as you pass windows and mirrors or, worse, chastising and insulting yourself as you stare at your reflection. I have no doubt there are times when you compare your own body with those of others, either in the real world or on social media.

These experiences can affect our confidence at work or in our relationships, causing us to withdraw from those around us or reach for a quick fix, compounding the issues further.

But what if the change you need doesn’t start on the outside?

Therapy and body image: healing from the inside out

What if you could find a trusted professional to share those fears and concerns with, someone who could help you process them safely? Someone who will listen to you without judgement, help you deal with feelings of shame and disappointment and assist you in building your confidence from the inside. 

It may not be a quick fix, but it will come without a punishing schedule fuelled by shame and self-hate. You will be supported and listened to, and not forced to make unrealistic changes that may lead to more harm.

Why inner confidence matters

Feeling confident about the person we outwardly present to others starts from taking care of the person within. It is likely that while you have noticed these changes happening to your body, you have also changed the way you talk to yourself, treat yourself or relate to others.

Ask yourself:

• When was the last time you praised yourself for something?
• Do you accept the kind words of others, or brush them off? 
• Why would you make the effort to look after yourself when the voice of self-criticism is so loud?

Counselling will help you take notice of the other things that have changed for you and your life since your body has changed. It will help you break down the barriers that have added to your stress, frustration and shame; barriers that stop you from making positive progress. Your therapist will help you rediscover your worth and gently encourage you to value yourself again.

How a counsellor can support you

Working with a therapist can help you:

• Explore your self-image and confidence, and make links with any experiences you have had in your past.
• Notice when your critical voice is taking over and help you challenge and redirect your thoughts towards something more helpful.
• Set goals for your well-being and check in to see if you are taking care of your basic needs.
• Reflect on how you show up in your relationships, or at work and how these interactions are contributing to your self-worth.
• Explore shameful feelings in a safe space, so you don't have to feel them alone. Just being able to talk about these difficult feelings can be incredibly helpful.

Practical tips to boost body confidence at home

While therapy offers deep support, there are also steps you can try at home:

• Wear clothes that feel good. Choose outfits that make you feel comfortable and that you enjoy, rather than responding to external pressure to look a certain way.
• Limit your exposure to social media. Very often, companies and influencers want people to change so they can expand their profits at a risk to your well-being and self-confidence.
• Spend time with uplifting people. Surround yourself with people who give you a boost and love you for the person you are, even when you feel like you want to hide away from the world.
• Focus on your own self-care. Ensure you give yourself time and space to do things that bring you joy instead of filling your free time with self-punishment.

The journey of positive change, whether it be on the outside or within, starts from a place of compassion. Your therapist will make that the focus of the work you do together. As your confidence grows and you begin to treat yourself better, you will form a positive relationship with the person in the mirror again and with that, there will be a noticeable physical change in you too - the ability to smile again!