In the client's seat

I may be a counsellor but being a client does not contradict my role as a counsellor, in fact it complements it, enhances it and nourishes it. After all, we can't pour from an empty cup, so what better self-care than to see my own counsellor?

What are the benefits of having counselling as a counsellor? Just like any individual, we too come with our baggage, we too have to navigate our own life stresses, anxieties and challenges. We have ups and downs and everything in between. Being a counsellor doesn't make us immune to emotional difficulties, nor does it make us a pro at resolving our issues. 

First and foremost, the biggest benefit I have found to having my own counselling is a safe space. One where I feel truly heard. Like Carl Rogers said:

"We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy."

This is the listening that I warmly receive from my own counsellor. 

I've come to a really enlightening realisation - this form of listening and empathy my counsellor has offered me and I have received has allowed me to slow down and tune into my own thoughts and feelings. I have been able to understand what I'm truly hearing when words hurt me, what is really going on for me beneath the surface. 

Having my own space to unload my own baggage has been life-changing. That sort of support means I can be fully present for my own clients without my work becoming detrimental to my own mental health. I pour from a cup that is full, and there is still some left for me.

Looking after our wellbeing or self-care can come in many different shapes and forms. I believe talking therapies should be high up there in the list of priorities. It not only provides individuals with a non-judgemental space to be unapologetically themselves, but it enhances self-awareness, promotes growth, fosters resilience, acceptance and the ability to let go of what we can't change and change what we can and want to change. 

Being a client has humbled me and increased my empathy and compassion towards my clients in one way in particular. I have understood the reluctance of attending sessions at times, because sometimes it is simply easier in the short term to bury that which is painful. 

Furthermore, building my self-esteem, working on my growth and self-worth, and self-belief has only helped me to further nurture my clients into doing the same. Believing that everyone deserves to be the best version of themselves and lead the best life they can has always been my belief, but now it is something I live and breathe on a daily basis. 

Being able to trust the process, release my emotions, including those that incite inner shame, has helped me to prevent burnout and be able to continue giving that emotional support to my clients. Accepting how flawed I am and not hiding behind excuses has empowered me to make the changes I need to, whilst supporting others to do the same. However, my level of understanding, especially when it comes to the dynamics of the therapeutic relationship and how important it is to engulf clients with compassion when it comes to feelings of shame, has increased on another level. 

Sitting on both of those chairs at different times and experiencing the therapeutic relationship from both angles has been healing for me. It's been eye-opening, enlightening, and I believe empowering for the clients. My job as a counsellor is not a mere job that pays, it is a calling. I am promoting something I not only believe in but practice from both seats.