How to support a young person experiencing exam anxiety

Feeling worried about exams is a natural response to what is often an incredibly stressful time. Exam anxiety refers to the acute state experienced immediately before, during and even after an exam. Whilst a certain amount of anxiety around exams is to be expected, it becomes problematic when it is intense, when it persists over time, and when it impacts academic performance and day-to-day life.

For some students, once the exam is over, their minds and bodies will usually return to their resting state, and they are able to recover. However, for some, they remain stuck in a chronic state of anxiety.

What causes exam stress in students?

Many of the students I have worked with have described a fear of failing, even before they have begun to revise. Students may experience panic in lessons when reminded about forthcoming exams, and revision becomes almost impossible when paralysed by this fear. Uncertainty about the future and being unable to predict the outcome of their exams can lead to feeling out of control and totally overwhelmed. Students often report a fear of negative feedback from others or comparison with their peers, as well as an overwhelming fear of not wanting to disappoint their parents or teachers.

Signs of exam anxiety in teenagers

As parents, you may see indicators of exam stress and anxiety in your child’s behaviour. They might become withdrawn, irritable, frustrated, or experience low mood and feelings of hopelessness. You may see an avoidance around study, revision and homework. They may stay up late, perhaps unable to sleep because of stress and worry, or due to excessive studying. Physiologically, they may experience feelings of nausea, stomach pains, headaches or migraines.

Exams are a significant life event for young people and, therefore, it is important that we support them to develop healthy coping strategies to manage this and other stressful life events.

Strategies to support students include those that target their physiology, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. For example, strategies that target physiology might include breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness and guided visualisations.

Strategies that target thoughts and feelings may include journalling or talking to a teacher or counsellor to help identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts and the feelings that underlie or contribute to these unhelpful thoughts.

Strategies that target behaviours may focus on study behaviours, such as exam and revision techniques which help to build confidence and contribute to a sense of control. Plus, strategies to support good sleep hygiene and the promotion of healthy sleep habits.

For these strategies to be effective they will require teamwork and a support network around the individual student. This support network may include peers, parents, teachers and counsellors.

Strategies to help teens cope with exam stress

1. Encourage good sleep hygiene

Teens are often in a constant state of sleep deprivation due to a biological shift in their sleep-wake cycle, early starts to the school day, poor sleep hygiene and the general stress of day-to-day school life.

Getting them into a consistent routine of going to bed at the same time each night, aiming for eight to 10 hours a night, and limiting caffeine and screen use before bed can all help, but if they are feeling anxious then this will have a big impact on their ability to fall asleep.

Practicing stress-reducing techniques such as breathing exercises, grounding and meditation or anything else they can do to help clear their mind before sleep, such as journaling or reading can help reduce stress and anxiety and help support a better sleep.

2. Support with revision and study techniques

Help them to come up with some ideas to help them revise, as this will support their sense of agency and autonomy. Speak to the school and find out what they can offer students in the lead-up to exams. There are lots of techniques, but they might not work for every student, so encourage your child to try different techniques and see what works best for them. It is also important to encourage your child to take breaks in between revision and schedule in some rest time. 

3. Be aware of the challenges faced by students with additional needs

Some students might struggle with the organisational aspect of study skills and may need support with starting or transitioning between activities. Students with a pre-existing vulnerability to anxiety may need additional support at this time.

The exam environment itself is an additional stressor due to issues with focus and concentration, sensory difficulties, social anxiety, managing time, and perhaps the absence of their usual coping strategies. If this is the case, then speak to the school in advance as they may be able to apply for adjustments via the exam board to help support your child with additional needs. 

4. Help them to identify their challenges and find solutions together

Do they know what it is that causes them the most worry? Is it that they need help to manage their physiological symptoms, or emotional well-being, or both? Do they need support with their sleep, nutrition, or study/revision techniques? Are these things you can support your child with, or do you need help from others such as their form tutor, head of year, SENCo or a counsellor?

5. Model good practice and behaviour

How do you respond to stress? What are they learning about how to respond to stress in what they see at home and how are they mirroring this in their behaviour? Talk with them about how you manage your stress and what works for you, you could even practice some relaxation techniques together.

Encourage them to identify self-care strategies to help to reduce their anxiety - what do they do currently that works well; are there other things they could try? These might include practical strategies like organising their day, creating a revision timetable or emotional strategies like talking to a friend, writing a gratitude journal, using affirmations to practice self-compassion or physical activities such as exercise, taking some time away from technology or eating healthier foods.

6. Make time to listen to their worries and to validate and normalise their feelings

Young people need to know that they are not alone and that other people, including their parents, experience similar feelings. Plan a treat or celebration to mark the end of the exams.

Value who they are, not just what they achieve, and reassure them that you will be proud of them no matter what they achieve, whilst remaining positive and hopeful! Ultimately, their grades do not define who they are. Reinforce that you know they will do the best they can and that is good enough.

7. Be aware of not adding to the pressure

This is hard as a lot of parents worry that if they don’t nag or if they take a step back, then the work simply won’t get done. However, young people need to learn to organise themselves and sometimes this comes as a negative consequence of not getting their homework done on time, or from a lack of revision or sometimes in failing an exam.

Of course, young people need guidance but, as parents, our role is to support them to develop more autonomy, so it’s more about gently nudging rather than nagging. Young people are more likely to feel motivated to take charge of their own learning when they feel in control.

As parents, we can support them in preparing and planning for their exams but other than that, perhaps all we need to do is just be there and to be available both physically and emotionally, if needed. Their sense of achievement, internal motivation and autonomy will be far greater if they are at the helm, rather than if we are the ones steering it all. 

Many young people feel better when exams are over, but this is not the case for everyone. If your child is still struggling after the exam period is over, they may need some additional support.

If anxiety and stress are impacting their day-to-day life, please seek support from their GP in the first instance. And if you are struggling as a parent, please know that there is help available for you, too. Supporting young people through the exam period can be incredibly stressful for parents and may bring up all sorts of difficult feelings and memories of what it was like for you, so please take care of your own well-being too.