How the inner critic influences us at work

Many of us appear kind and capable in the outside world, yet can be harsh and unforgiving toward ourselves. This article explores how the inner critic develops, how it shows up at work, and how counselling can help us begin to soften its voice.

Do you ever find yourself second-guessing your decisions, downplaying your achievements, or feeling like a fraud at work, even when there is clear evidence that you are doing well? That quiet, critical voice that whispers "You’re not good enough" or "You’ll be found out" is often known as the inner critic. It may feel like an unquestionable part of who you are, but in counselling, we often discover that this voice has deeper roots.

Where does the inner critic come from?

The inner critic does not simply appear out of nowhere. It usually takes shape early in life, during moments when we felt judged, shamed, or emotionally unsafe. If love or approval seemed tied to how well we performed, how well we behaved, or how much we suppressed certain feelings, we may have internalised those expectations. Over time, they become woven into the way we speak to ourselves.

Children are very perceptive. Even subtle experiences, such as a parent frowning at tears, a teacher praising only perfect work, or comparisons with a sibling, can leave lasting impressions. We begin to believe things like, "I must not make mistakes," "I must always please others," or "My worth depends on how people see me." Without realising it, we often carry these beliefs into adult life, especially into work environments where performance and image can feel so important.

How the inner critic shows up at work

Feeling like a fraud

Do you ever receive praise for your work and immediately feel uncomfortable? Perhaps you think, "They don’t really know me," or "I just got lucky." This is sometimes called impostor syndrome. It is often linked to an inner critic that developed in situations where achievements were never quite enough, or where mistakes led to criticism rather than understanding.

Overworking to feel "enough"

Do you find it hard to rest, even after a productive day? Many people feel driven to constantly do more, fuelled by an internal pressure to prove their worth. If love or attention in childhood depended on being the achiever or the helper, this can turn into a belief that you must always strive harder to be accepted.

Apologising for having needs

Do you hesitate to ask for help or apologise when expressing how you feel? You may worry that needing support will make you a burden. This often stems from early messages, spoken or unspoken, that emotions or vulnerability were unwelcome. Now, the inner critic may tell you to stay composed and manage alone.

How counselling can help

The inner critic can feel like an unchangeable part of who we are. In reality, it often reflects old patterns that have never been explored.

Counselling offers a space where we can begin to approach this inner voice with curiosity rather than judgement. A space to explore where it came from, how it may have once tried to protect you, and how it continues to shape how you see yourself and others.

Over time, as these patterns become more conscious, it is possible to loosen their grip. With greater understanding and self-compassion, you can begin to respond to your inner critic in new ways and relate to yourself with more kindness.

The inner critic often arises from earlier experiences, but it does not have to define how we treat ourselves today. By understanding its roots and gradually shifting how we respond to it, we can create space for a softer, more supportive inner voice.

Learning to relate to yourself with greater care and compassion is not always easy, but it is a deeply worthwhile process. Over time, the inner critic no longer needs to be in charge. Instead, it can become just one voice among many, one that no longer holds so much power.