How can we find quiet in a noisy world?

The world today is noisier than it has ever been. A recent BBC News article
highlights how harmful this noise can be, not only for our hearing but for our physical
and mental health.

Certain noises cause our heart rate to quicken, our skin to sweat and for us to feel an increased sense of agitation. We have an emotional response to certain sounds, which triggers our “fight or flight” response in the body. In an emergency, this would be very useful, but what happens when we are constantly exposed to traffic, raised voices and loud music throughout the day? Over time, this can negatively impact our bodies and cause physical damage as well as raised stress levels. 

In modern society, we have countless distractions to keep our brains constantly
active. During our waking hours, it is rare that we are truly quiet and still. When I think
back to my childhood in the 1980s and 90s, life without mobile phones and countless
TV channels was very different. Yes, I did feel bored sometimes, but I also remember
the thrill of it finally being time to watch my favourite TV programme once a week, or
the excitement of my best friend phoning me on the landline.

Today, our gratification is instant; we receive constant messages from friends and can watch anything we desire at any time. Everything we want is at our fingertips – literally. Why would we choose to be bored if we can be entertained? But what is it doing to our brains being surrounded by this constant noise and content?

Unfortunately, the more stimulation our brain receives, the more it wants. Imagine you are out for dinner with a friend and they visit the toilet. Chances are, you will get your phone out for a quick scroll while they’re gone. The thought of just spending a few minutes alone with our thoughts can be intolerable to us. But why? We are simply not used to letting our minds wander and sitting quietly in a state of mental inactivity. So this can feel quite scary and overwhelming when we aren’t used to it.

All of this stimulation can mean that at night time, when we should be asleep, our
brains can’t cope with silence and as a result, anxiety can present itself and keep us
awake. During the day, all of the stimulation our brains receive means that we are
very good at blocking out unwelcome thoughts and feelings. These can resurface
during the night when there are no distractions.

One of my clients described it as a pinball machine in her head, with her anxiety pinging from one subject to the next in a rapid and seemingly random manner. There are some things we can do to help with this.

It can be useful to have a pad and paper by our bed so that we can write down these thoughts as they occur to us, to stop them filling our brain when we want to relax. Trying to establish a routine of going to bed at the same time every night and not napping during the day can be helpful. And finally, if we really can’t sleep, then it’s OK to get up and do something restful in another room until we are tired enough to try to get to sleep. It’s important not to associate the bedroom with the negative impacts of insomnia.

Thinking about what we need and acting on it is a great step towards combating
unwanted noise. Is there time in your day when you can practice mindfulness and sit
in silence for a significant period of time, without the distraction of your phone or TV?
Notice what it feels like to be alone with just your thoughts.

If we are not used to this, it can feel very uncomfortable at first, and our thoughts and feelings are often loud in our heads. But over time, if we make a habit of doing this, it can become a useful exercise in tuning in to how we are feeling, rather than suppressing our thoughts with external noise. Do you notice that some thoughts repeat themselves? Are they mainly positive or negative, or a mixture of the two? If you find you are often having
negative automatic thoughts, can you trace where these originated? This may be
something you can discuss with a counsellor.

You can try a simple 60-second breathing exercise: inhale for four counts, hold for
four counts, and exhale for four counts. A body scan meditation, where you close
your eyes and focus on each part of your body while slowly engaging different
muscles, is another great mindfulness technique.

Reducing exposure to “information overload” can also be very effective. Putting a screen time limit on mobile devices can help us create more mental space. When we can sit in true stillness (and yes, perhaps that may seem like boredom at times), we will have more capacity to accept any thoughts which occur in a calm manner, rather than them intolerably clamouring for our attention when our brains are already full thanks to external stimulation. Studies show that time outside can improve our mental well-being.

We may be lucky enough to find somewhere quiet outdoors to process our thoughts, but if not, noise-cancelling headphones are the next best thing! Exercise we enjoy can be another great way to take a break from the noise in our stressful lives.

Counselling can help us to unpack some of the thoughts or noise in our heads, which
can cause stress and anxiety. This constant stream of thoughts can be
overwhelming and unhelpful. Arianna Huffington described her brain noise as her
roommate.

She said, “I have spent many years trying to evict my obnoxious roommate and have now managed to relegate her to only occasional guest appearances in my head.”

If we are able to get a handle on our thoughts and to accept them as they pass through our minds, this is infinitely preferable to the constant jostling for space they may be doing at the moment.