How ageism impacts us and the benefits of counselling

'Positive ageing' is an achievable goal. My now completed PhD biographical research explored in-depth experiences of therapeutic intervention in relation to change, transition and adversity in later life. 

My findings are intended to contribute to a wider process of changing negative social constructions of age and ageing. I have also challenged currently favoured ‘medicalised’ attitudes to counselling, which tend to view people as passive patients rather than active agents of change, by consulting and exploring the perspectives of older ‘talking therapy’ service users themselves.

 How ageism can affect people at all stages of life

Institutionalised and socialised ageist social constructions of ‘old age’ and the ageing process, amongst both the general public and people in helping professions, have resulted in a high level of social prejudice and negative discrimination from midlife onwards. This often exacerbates a generalised detrimental effect on health and well-being for the rapidly expanding group of people who are in what Carl Jung, the famous psychotherapist, called ‘the afternoon of life’. This alarming and harmful situation in the UK has been recently researched and highlighted by organisations such as the Centre for Ageing Better and Age UK.

The ‘Covid 19’ pandemic dramatically brought into sharp focus the oppressed and threatened position of many older people in society globally. In the words of Doctor Anna Dixon, former Chief Executive of the Centre for Ageing Better, when introducing their challenging March 2020 report about current research into ageist stereotyping in Britain: 

Ageism is deeply damaging, yet all too often it isn’t taken as seriously as other forms of prejudice or discrimination.  Britain is long overdue a fundamental culture shift to overturn these attitudes, and the media needs to reflect the diverse experience of people in later life.

What exactly is ageism?

Ageism means being prejudiced and having stereotypical attitudes about people of a certain age, and then discriminating against them, simply because of their apparent chronological stage in life. This of course can happen to young people as well, who may be deemed too immature for some jobs or to take on grown-up responsibilities in life.  

There are also multiple ways in which women in particular are discriminated against in our society. Reaching middle age, for example, seems to present many more challenges and negative social discriminations and exclusions for women than it does for men. Although men often experience different forms of 'mid-life crisis' which can sometimes be emotionally traumatic, in part because of our internalised 'masculine' social stereotypes. 

Taking Carl Jung's idea that we all have both masculine and feminine attributes contained within our identities, counselling may facilitate a personal development process in which both men and women may experience both life changes and growth in the emergence of other stereotypically female or male attributes and characteristics within themselves. Men may become carers and women may become business and political leaders, for example.

Since we are all unique in our personal development paths, counselling may support individual processes of reflection, change and transition after varied gender and age stereotype-influenced experiences of mid-life crisis.  

What are the benefits of counselling? 

Reflecting on my motivation for conducting my research, the counselling process has often involved searching for meaning and purpose in what is happening in people’s lives.  Occasionally, talking to another person helps us in our soul-searching efforts to achieve peace of mind, reconciliation with others, recovery from loss and trauma, or even redemption. This is especially relevant in terms of the critical judgements we make about ourselves.  

My research with people in later life took place in a contemporary culture where we are, more than ever, seeking to understand ourselves better and find more meaningful and purposeful ways of living.   

The idea of undertaking a structured ‘narrative inquiry’ into people’s experiences of counselling in later life was initially envisaged whilst listening to Age UK Warwickshire’s Psychological Support counselling service users. Talking to these people, in various later-life stages, I frequently encountered an expressed sense of needing to stoically meet any adversity life threw at you, combined with attitudes of self-sufficiency, independent problem-solving, and emotional reticence. Often expressing the life view that we should just ‘get on with it’, rather than talking about our troubles.  

Many of the people I counselled were also concerned not to be a burden to their loved ones, and to continue to contribute to family and community well-being. I also found that supporting these people to tell their stories and find meaning in past, present, and future existence, seemed to alleviate distress and enable my clients to maintain, or regain, their resilience, and adapt pro-actively to ongoing change and transition in their lives. 

In my counselling experiences with the Age UK Psychological Support service, I have also encountered older people seeking therapy who seem to be in what Viktor Frankl described as an ‘existential vacuum’. They have lost their purpose, their motivation, and their energy in life and feel that their lives are meaningless. They describe feeling as if they have stagnated, and are experiencing a sense of stasis and disconnection.  

In the existential philosophy at the heart of my approach to this research, it is meaning that links us to the world and propels us forward into our futures.   

For Frankl, meaning has to be ahead of our existence: ‘It sets the pace for being’. For those of us who have lost a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives, there is a need to reconnect. I argue that this is done by taking awareness of how we are living, what is important to us, and what we value. According to Frankl, all these aspects are contained within meaning.  

I contend that meaning flows from our connectivity. It stems from the way in which we are connected and engaged with the fundamental aspects of who we are; it brings our values and beliefs together with our emotional response to the world. All these elements are needed to make sense of our present experiences as well as giving us a sense of direction in life. Continued social engagement, meaning, and purpose in later life were key themes in my research. 

 Personal meaning and successful ageing  

Referring to the influential ‘logotherapy’ theories and writing of Viktor Frankl, Canadian psychologist Paul Wong defines ‘personal meaning’ as:  

'…an individually constructed system that is grounded in subjective values and capable of endowing life with personal significance and satisfaction'. 

He goes on to suggest that when many of the major sources of meaning, such as work, social status, and activity are threatened or diminished, as in the case of advancing age, the question:' Why survive?' Becomes urgent. He argues that one's health and life satisfaction importantly depend on whether this existential need for personal meaning is met. 

There are many other ways for older people to overcome ageism such as sharing experiences together, joining community activities, and participating in intergenerational learning activities. 

In my research findings, I contend that our current rates of chronic illness, mental health conditions, disability and frailty could be greatly reduced if we tackle the structural, economic, and social drivers of poor health earlier. 

I argue strongly that we also need to learn how to enjoy and make the best of later life. I view counselling as a helpful facility for opening up perspectives on later life, such as ‘lifelong learning’ opportunities, in the style of international institutions like the University of the Third Age. These movements have the potential to change public perceptions to include the possibility of experiencing continued lifelong learning and development, fulfilment and purpose in old age.  

My research also argues that there is a need for government policies to promote continued learning opportunities which actively respond to the prospect of a long life. Changing attitudes to ageing from negative to positive is particularly relevant to those who are not able to take advantage of the growing number of retirement life choices because of limited means, restricted environment, or lack of previous adult learning and education experiences.   

Healing through meaning

My personal conclusion, at the age of 76, about the value of counselling for people of all ages, is that it can support and facilitate our human ability to pro-actively adapt to change and also to have personal agency in influencing the circumstances and adversity we find ourselves experiencing.

Sometimes emotional trauma seems to be threatening our whole existence and we need to recover not only our resilience but also our sense of identity and belonging in the world. Viktor Frankl described this as a process of finding personal meaning and purpose in life, and I agree with his philosophy that it can happen at any stage in our lives. 

I experienced excellent counselling during a mid-life crisis and professional burnout. The person-centred relational process of assisted self-care certainly facilitated my finding personal meaning and purpose in life again. The fact that I successfully undertook a PhD in my seventies might indicate what Stephen Joseph calls 'post-traumatic growth'. 

I firmly believe we all have the capacity to overcome adversity and trauma and move on with our lives in diverse ways.