Embracing the pivot: ADHD and the search for the perfect system

Before I start, I want to note that I’m not an ADHD specialist, and I don’t have a diagnosis myself. I write this as a counsellor who supports clients navigating burnout, overwhelm, and the pressure to be constantly productive – and as someone who personally relates to many of these experiences – if it resonates, great! If not, feel free to take what you like and leave the rest.

Around six months ago, I went to my GP to talk about how much I recognised myself in my friends’ experiences of ADHD. She sent me some assessment forms to fill out. They’re still sitting in my inbox, nine months later. Part of me thinks that might be the first test – I’m half-expecting my GP to call any day now and say, 'Okay, first step done, you can come back in.'

So, while this isn’t expert advice, it’s a reflection on something I see often in both my own life and the therapy room: the search for the perfect system – that one routine, method, or tool that will finally help us “stay on top of things.”

Why we chase the “perfect system”

Many people I work with describe a similar struggle: the gap between our intentions and actions. We know what needs doing, but getting started can feel strangely impossible.

A friend once described it as 'having the thoughts of a workaholic but the actions of a lazy person.' - often, this is what’s known as task paralysis. This can be linked to difficulties with executive functioning, the mental processes that help us plan, prioritise, and initiate tasks. When those processes are overwhelmed, even simple actions like replying to a message or posting a letter can feel enormous.

In response, we may turn to systems: productivity apps, bullet journals, Pomodoro timers, “eat the frog” challenges, morning routines, new planners, new diets – all in search of a structure that provides some support, some assistance, something that might finally make things click.

Each promises a sense of control, and for a while, they often help. Until they don’t.

The system cycle

Over time, I noticed a familiar pattern in my relationship with these systems – one that has shown up for my clients too:

1. Feeling guilt or frustration for not “doing enough.”
2. Searching for a solution – often online.
3. Finding a system that promises clarity and motivation.
4. Diving in enthusiastically. It works! For a day, a week, sometimes a month. It feels like this could be the one that will finally solve my recurring task paralysis.
5. Then, without any clear reason, it slips. The energy fades. The guilt returns.
6. And the cycle begins again.*

When a system stops working, the inner critic or “inner workaholic” often pipes up, saying, “You’ve failed again.”  But, interestingly, both in myself and others, I’ve noticed that we rarely question the system itself – we assume that we are the problem.

One possible reason for this might lie in early conditioning. Many people with ADHD traits have grown up in education systems that have chosen to prize consistency, conformity, and linear productivity. They teach us that work should only be done in a certain way – not rushed, not last-minute, not forgotten. Therefore, after years of feeling that how you work is wrong, it makes sense that, later in life, you might automatically assume that any difficulty with a task means you are at fault.

From a psychological perspective, this could be seen as a kind of condition of worth – the belief that your worth is tied to working in “acceptable” ways.

*What can temporarily break the cycle is being too close to a deadline. Then I enter what my friend and I call “superhero mode” – a sudden burst of focus and energy that kicks in when there’s no time left. It often works, but it’s exhausting. Afterwards, we can feel drained and frustrated, promising ourselves that next time we’ll do it differently – a bit like vowing never to have as much cake/drink/crisps as we just did at a party.

Embracing the pivot

Thankfully, I stumbled across a different way of relating to this pattern – something I now share with clients – and it’s called embracing the pivot.

Instead of searching for a permanent fix, I try to view each new system as temporary support. I now try to tell myself that it’s okay that it won’t last forever; that’s part of the process. Now, when a strategy stops working, it doesn’t mean we’ve gone backwards or that we've returned to the start – it means it’s time to pivot, to adjust to where we are now.

Embracing the pivot is about trying to widen my perspective and offer to myself that it might not be our “lack of discipline”, but instead, perhaps, our needs, energy levels, or environment that have caused a change. What worked before simply isn’t what’s needed now.

This mindset shift can turn self-blame into self-awareness. Instead of, “I failed again,” we might ask, “What’s changed, and what might help me now?”

For me, this has become a more compassionate way of engaging with executive functioning – recognising that attention, motivation, and focus aren’t static traits but as parts of me that fluctuate naturally.

Does this work all the time? No! Sadly not. Sometimes it still takes days or weeks before I even notice I’m in a dip. And, begrudgingly, I remind myself that this is part of it too; I won’t even embrace the pivot perfectly either.

Trusting your own timing

Another reframe that could be helpful is to reflect on timing. If you often leave things to the last minute, you could ask yourself: “Have I ever actually failed to get it done?”

If the answer is mostly no, maybe there’s space to trust that process a little more. Some people seem to work more effectively in bursts rather than through steady, consistent effort. Rather than fighting that rhythm, you might experiment with planning around it – starting just early enough to reduce panic, but late enough that your natural focus can activate.

For me, and perhaps for others, it can take time to develop trust in that part of ourselves. But this gentle re-questioning can be transformative. It’s about exploring whether you could work with your brain instead of trying to change it. You might already be getting things done – just in your own way. How could you build on that part of you, instead of forcing yourself to fit a “normal” method?

Final thoughts

Whether you identify with ADHD traits or simply struggle with motivation, learning to embrace the pivot may bring relief. Systems will come and go, focus will fluctuate, and that’s not a moral failure – it’s being human.

Also, I want to acknowledge that, at least in my own little internet bubble, we seem to be living in a time where productivity and “the perfect routine” are treated as essentials for living well. This often makes me find it hard to tell how much of my interest in “getting better” at working comes from cultural pressure and how much comes from genuine need. I hope this article doesn’t inadvertently push the former.

Lastly, if any of this has resonated with you, then I hope it helps you look at your own relationship with work and motivation a little more kindly - whether you have ADHD, suspect you might, or simply struggle with productivity.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I have “embrace the pivot” on a sticky note at eye level on my desk as a reminder of how I’m trying to speak to myself about work.