Counselling for low self-esteem: Rebuilding self-worth

Low self-esteem can affect every aspect of life - from our relationships to our careers and overall well-being. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, it can affect how we see our abilities, how we connect with others, and how we handle challenges. Living with a constant feeling of self-doubt, inadequacy, or shame can make even small challenges feel overwhelming. Self-esteem isn’t something you’re simply born with; it’s shaped by experiences, relationships, and messages we receive over time. But, with the right support, it’s possible to overcome these negative beliefs and develop a healthier, more positive self-image.

What causes low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem often starts with negative experiences, such as:

• Early experiences: Criticism, neglect, or harsh judgment during childhood can stick with us and create lasting negative beliefs about ourselves.
• Social pressure: Comparing ourselves to others, whether through social media or in real life, can make us feel like we don’t measure up.
• Traumatic events: Big life changes or painful experiences, like loss or failure, can make us doubt ourselves and our worth.

These experiences can leave lasting impressions, leading to persistent self-critical thoughts and feelings of not being 'good enough'. People with low self-esteem may:

• struggle with self-worth or confidence
• constantly compare themselves to others
• fear judgment or rejection
• have difficulty setting boundaries or asserting themselves
• avoid new experiences due to fear of failure

How can counselling help?

If any of the above sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone - and that these feelings are changeable. Through counselling, you can explore the root causes of low self-esteem and develop new ways of thinking and feeling about yourself.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): Challenging negative thoughts

CBT focuses on identifying and reframing the negative thoughts that drive low self-esteem. By challenging these unhelpful thought patterns, we’ll replace them with balanced, self-affirming beliefs. This practical approach helps you see yourself from a kinder perspective and develop self-compassion. Together, we’ll work on skills to manage critical self-talk and promote a more positive inner dialogue.

Person-centred therapy: Finding self-acceptance

Person-centred therapy creates a safe, empathetic space where you are fully accepted and valued. In this supportive environment, you’ll have the opportunity to explore your feelings at your own pace. The therapist will be there to listen without judgment, empowering you to reconnect with your authentic self. Person-centred therapy promotes self-acceptance, helping you feel more comfortable in your own skin and confident in your worth.

Attachment theory: Understanding relationship patterns

Attachment theory focuses on how our early relationships affect the way we see ourselves. For example, if we didn’t feel secure or supported as children, we might grow up with a fear of rejection or a sense that we’re not lovable. Understanding these patterns can help us see why we feel the way we do in relationships, and we can begin to change our approach. Together, we’ll work on fostering secure, healthy attachments that reinforce a positive sense of self.

Rebuilding self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience and support, it’s possible. Therapy offers a path to feeling more confident, resilient, and accepting of who you are. With time, you can shift away from self-doubt and learn to embrace your strengths and unique qualities. You’ll develop practical tools to manage negative thoughts, cultivate self-compassion, and navigate relationships more confidently. Most importantly, you’ll build a foundation of self-worth that empowers you to live with confidence, resilience, and authenticity.