Counselling, connection and discovery

Counselling carries a huge responsibility. Counsellors often deal with things that aren’t immediately visible — like body language, emotions, and unspoken signals. In today’s fast-paced world, where people are always on the move, those signals can easily get lost. The role of a counsellor is to help people reconnect with themselves and others in a way that feels genuine.

Many counsellors follow a person-centred therapy approach because they believe that everyone knows what’s best for themselves, even if they’ve lost touch with that knowledge. The job is to help clients find that inner wisdom again. Offering empathy, warmth, and acceptance creates a nurturing space for clients to explore their feelings. In many ways, the counsellor becomes a comforting presence, much like an inner “mother figure” that clients may have longed for in their lives.

However, it’s important to find a balance. While it’s vital to be supportive, encouraging independence is just as important. During sessions, clients often look back at their initial goals and see how the tools they’ve discussed are fitting into their everyday lives. For example, they might share how grounding techniques help them when anxiety creeps in or how they’re learning to set boundaries in tough relationships. These conversations empower clients by helping them notice their own progress, boosting their confidence and inspiring them to keep growing even outside of sessions.

While letting clients lead the way is essential, sometimes a non-directive approach isn’t enough, especially for those dealing with trauma. This is where polyvagal theory becomes helpful. It explains how our bodies react to trauma and stress and offers tools for clients to calm their nervous systems, which is an important part of healing. Balancing emotional support with an understanding of how the body works creates a holistic approach to therapy.

When looking at these different therapeutic approaches, it’s interesting to see how they connect. Polyvagal theory works well with humanistic therapy by highlighting the importance of safety and connection in healing. Just like humanistic therapy creates a safe space for clients to explore themselves, polyvagal theory shows how feeling safe helps regulate emotions. Both approaches focus on being non-judgemental and empathetic, allowing clients to reconnect with their true selves.

Integrating insights from psychodynamic theory, particularly those of Karen Horney, adds even more depth. Horney’s focus on anxiety and relationships links nicely with polyvagal theory, showing how past experiences can shape our current feelings and reactions. By blending these ideas, therapists can help clients understand their emotional responses and recognise where their behaviours come from, leading to deeper self-awareness.

As therapists reflect on these connections, they see how rich and valuable it is to understand both the emotional and biological sides of life. The journey from faith to a more scientific view mirrors the integration of these different therapeutic approaches, showing that personal growth often comes from exploring both the heart and the mind.

It’s fascinating to see how these theories can work together to create a comprehensive approach to healing. Having both perspectives — whether in therapy or in life — feels like a treasure, and the therapist is eager to share this understanding. Everyone deserves the chance to approach life with an open mind, recognising the value in both rational thought and emotional experience.

It’s also important to remember that not everyone is ready for change, and that’s perfectly okay. A therapist's role isn’t to push anyone down a specific path but to create a safe space for exploration. This allows clients to discover what feels right for them at their own pace. Being open to different ideas, even if they don’t resonate with everyone, is a crucial part of growth — for both the therapist and the clients.

In the end, the philosophy of counselling blends emotional and biological perspectives, creating a safe environment where clients feel nurtured and empowered. While the approach may not be perfect, the ongoing reflection on how to balance support with independence, blend scientific and emotional insights, and stay open to all beliefs is essential. The therapist aspires to keep growing in their role, offering the best possible support to each client on their unique journey.