Coping in silence: When small problems cause big issues

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “My problems are nothing compared to what some other people are going through"? Perceiving your challenges as relatively insignificant compared to problems faced by those who have immediate concerns that are life-threatening, or other large-scale global issues, may have even given you some basis to ignore them for the time being.

However, is comparing struggles really helpful for the person, or does it unnecessarily invalidate personal pain, inadvertently leading to a build-up of frustration that causes more stress in the longer term?

To draw a parallel, it is like comparing an interpersonal conflict in someone’s life to a life-threatening illness. It is all too easy to miss that both have the potential to bring about disruption and need timely attention.

There is biology behind the psychology

From a biological point of view, the neurochemical systems that respond to stress in humans do not act on the basis of assessing the ‘size’ of a problem faced. That means these neurochemical systems can be activated even by things that we would think are ‘minor’. This explains why our bodies mirror the same negative health outcomes when a number of small irritants are experienced, to an extent that is undistinguishable from major life crises.

For example, regardless of whether stress comes from managing a business, navigating interpersonal relationships, feeling a lack of purpose, or is survival-related, the physiological and psychological impact is similar.

From a neurochemical perspective, the brain registers the stress irrespective of source as a threat that requires a physiological response. Therefore, the body's response, such as anxiety, sleeplessness and worry, is universal regardless of what the worry is about.

Tremors from unaddressed issues

Even a small leak in a boat, if ignored, can eventually lead to disaster. Similarly, if left unaddressed, an accumulation of seemingly small issues can have a larger, negative impact on one's life, relationships, and overall happiness. Furthermore, diminishing own problems through unfavourable comparisons can lead to guilt or shame, and prevent people from seeking help.

This can have potentially far-reaching consequences as chronic stress, regardless of the cause, can alter brain structure and function – shrinking the hippocampus (which is responsible for memory and emotional regulation) and weakening the prefrontal cortex (used for decision-making). Taking biology into account makes it clearer how stress-related ‘brain fog’ causes impaired judgment, leading to questionable decisions.

What problems are ‘big enough’ for therapy

Mental wellness has a much broader function than just managing crises. It’s about achieving personal growth, finding fulfilment, and optimising your well-being. A common misconception is that therapy is limited only to 'major' issues during times of crisis.

However, for people who want to thrive in life rather than just get by, therapy could be utilised as a tool for expanding self-awareness, developing positive coping mechanisms, and improving their quality of life. Therefore, it is more a question of what you would like to use therapy for, rather than whether a given problem has to pass a threshold of significance before seeking assistance.

Therapy as part of self-care

The understanding that mental health support is a crucial part of human wellbeing has been lagging behind in recognition in favour of the importance given to treating the more visible symptoms prevalent in physical health.

Many people are convinced of the need to invest in physical health. Similarly, mental wellbeing needs to be understood as an investment in one’s overall health. It is crucial to optimise an often-overlooked personal asset – your mind. The greater understanding facilitated through therapy can help people find optimal self-care for each individual. This may be through things like gaining more awareness of our personal triggers, learning how to regulate emotions more effectively, or setting boundaries, which would vary from person to person.

Regular positive life choices adopted through therapy counteract the negative neurochemical effects of chronic stress. Therapy can also help direct some of the effects of stress (such as increased alertness and focus in the short term) to energise people more positively instead.

Success, no matter how small, triggers the release of dopamine, the feel-good ‘reward and motivation’ neurotransmitter. Thus, overcoming challenges can boost resilience and trigger dopamine. Overcoming a stressful situation with the help of therapy can thereby create a positive feedback loop in the brain. This not only makes you feel good about your accomplishment but also reinforces the behaviours that led to it, making you better equipped to handle similar challenges in the future.