Anxiety and neurodivergence: understanding your busy brain

If you are autistic, have ADHD, are AuDHD or are otherwise neurodivergent, anxiety is incredibly common. Understanding why can be really helpful in working out strategies that help.

A nervous system wired differently

Neurodivergent brains process the world differently. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with that; in fact, in many ways, it is an advantage. But in a world designed around neuronormativity, that difference can come at a cost.

Many autistic and dyslexic people, as well as people with ADHD, are highly attuned to detailed pattern recognition. This makes them highly creative and exceptional problem solvers. It also means they see, hear and feel everything in the same rich detail, which can make them hyper wired for threat. Layer that with years of criticism for being too intense or too sensitive, and it’s no wonder we are reading the room and spotting every microaggression, every shift in tone, anticipating issues even before they arise. The very skills that make us exceptional in some ways are, in other ways, our kryptonite.

This is a nervous system that has learned, often through years of experience, that the world can be unpredictable and unkind. For many neurodivergent people, this started early on in childhood while our sense of self was being formed. Before there was any language for neurodivergence, before diagnosis or realisation, the brain was already adapting, already feeling the threat.

Anxiety as a symptom

For many neurodivergent people, anxiety isn't the root problem. It's the result of one.

Sensory overwhelm from navigating environments that are too loud, too bright or too unpredictable, generates stress and anxiety. Masking, performing a different version of yourself day after day to avoid criticism or rejection, can generate anxiety, too. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, the intense emotional response to perceived criticism that many neurodivergent people experience; you’ve guessed it, more anxiety. Language processing differences, demand avoidance, executive function challenges, and relationship dynamics all have the potential to generate anxiety.

When anxiety is treated in isolation, without understanding the root causes, the relief is often temporary because the source remains. This doesn't mean anxiety treatment doesn't work. It means the most effective support addresses the whole picture, not just the presenting symptom.

More than one way of experiencing anxiety

Not all anxiety is the same, and it can help to distinguish the difference.

Sometimes anxiety is rooted in something real and present. A workplace that isn't safe. A relationship that is draining you. An environment that overwhelms your nervous system. This anxiety is information. It's telling you something important about your circumstances. It’s a valid reaction to be taken seriously and acted upon.

Sometimes anxiety is anticipatory. The brain extrapolates from past pain and places it onto a future that hasn't yet happened. Perhaps it never will. Our brain takes previous difficult experiences and builds a case for why everything ahead will be equally hard. It’s trying to protect you from future pain, and if you have a brain which is wired for great pattern recognition, it does this exceptionally (and detrimentally) well.

What helps?

Anxiety in neurodivergent people responds well to support, but this support needs to hold the neurodivergent experience at the foundation of the work.

Practically, all brains benefit from learning to slow down. Especially those fast-paced ADHD brains. The trick is to find the ways that work for you; it is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Once we’ve slowed things down, we improve our capacity to consider the problem.

To start, you might need the support of a third party, such as a therapist, but in time, you can become more skilled in managing your own thinking, with a toolkit of personalised strategies which help you slow things down and reduce your anxiety.

Therapy also offers something deeper. A space to understand where the anxiety came from, what it's protecting you from, and how to build a different relationship with it; one rooted in self-awareness rather than reactiveness.

Self-awareness is so powerful. The trouble with anxiety is that we can get stuck in a loop of getting anxious about getting anxious. Creating an effective toolkit of strategies alongside a strong understanding of the what, why and how puts you back in the driving seat of your own experiences and can really help reduce future anxiety.

You are not too sensitive

If you've spent years being told you worry too much, that you're too sensitive, that you need to relax, this is for you.

Your anxiety makes sense. It didn't arrive from nowhere. It's not a character flaw or personal failing. It developed in a nervous system that was working too hard, in a world that didn't always make room for the way your brain works.

Understanding the connection between neurodivergence and anxiety is often the first step towards something better. If any of this resonates and you'd like to explore it further, reach out. Sometimes the first step is simply a conversation.