9 common myths about therapy and the reality behind them

Despite therapy becoming more widely accepted these days, many people still have assumptions about what happens in counselling. These ideas might have come from old (and new) portrayals of therapy in films and TV, or from past experiences, or understandable worries about opening up to someone they don’t know.

So here are some common myths you might have heard about therapy, and the reality behind them.

Common myths about therapy

Myth 1: you have to be in crisis to go to therapy

Reality: therapy isn’t only for when things feel unbearable.

One thing I hear often is, “Other people have it much worse than me." But therapy isn't a competition. If something is affecting your well-being or relationships, it's worth talking about. People come to therapy for all sorts of reasons. They might feel stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or just want to understand themselves better.

Therapy can be preventative, helping you make sense of what's happening before it becomes overwhelming. You don’t have to wait until things are feeling really tough before reaching out; in fact, therapy can be useful much earlier, when you’re noticing things feel harder than usual.

Myth 2: a therapist will tell me what to do

Reality: therapy isn’t about being given a list of instructions.

Good therapy is a collaborative process. You are the expert in your own life, and your therapist is there to help you explore patterns, consider different perspectives and discover the choices that feel right for you.

Myth 3: I’ll have to talk about my childhood

Reality: you can talk about whatever feels relevant.

Many people worry that therapy will be all about exploring and digging up painful childhood memories. Some people do find exploring the past helpful, but others prefer to focus on what’s happening now. Different approaches work for different people depending on their circumstances at the time.

For parents, for example, it can be helpful to look at how you were raised to understand how that might affect the way you parent your own children. This doesn't mean spending months analysing the past. Instead, it can help make sense of patterns that might still be shaping the present.

Myth 4: I’ll have to cry

Reality: There is no correct emotional response.

Any and all expressions of emotion can be seen in therapy – sometimes all in the same session! 

Some people:

• cry
• laugh
• analyse everything
• struggle to find words

All of these reactions are normal. Your therapist will have experienced all these responses from clients and will not judge you for having them. Sometimes people are surprised that they don't cry at all, and that's also normal.

Myth 5: if I know what my problem is, I don’t need therapy

Reality: insight and change are different things.

People often say, “I already know why I’m like this,” but the truth is, knowing the reason doesn’t always make it easier to change patterns. If insight was all it took, we'd all find change much easier. Therapy provides a space for you to explore and practise new ways of responding.

Myth 6: therapists never have problems

Reality: therapists are human.

This one is most definitely not true! Therapists experience stress, emotions and challenges just like everyone else. The difference is that our training encourages us to continually reflect on our own experiences and maintain professional boundaries.

Myth 7: talking won’t change anything

Reality: talking is more powerful than many people realise.

There's a real difference between thinking something and hearing yourself say it out loud. Putting your thoughts into words helps you organise them, notice patterns and make new choices. And therapy isn’t just about the talking; the therapeutic relationship itself can be more powerful than you might realise.

Myth 8: starting therapy means something is wrong with me

Reality: seeking support doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.

We don’t question someone seeing a physiotherapist for back pain or a personal trainer to improve their fitness. Looking after your mental health should be seen in the same way. Many people come to therapy because they want to understand themselves better, improve their relationships or navigate a tricky time. It's not because they're "broken"; in fact, asking for support often shows self-awareness and courage.

Myth 9: you only need one type of therapy

Reality: therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Different approaches suit different people in different situations. Many therapists work integratively, meaning they use different approaches depending on what you need. One session might involve exploring your thoughts and feelings in depth, while another might focus on practical strategies or identifying your strengths. The truth is, it's the relationship you have with your therapist that matters most, more than the type of therapy. 

To help you find a good fit, notice how you feel in your first session. Therapists have different styles; some are more structured, some are more conversational or reflective. It can help to ask questions, such as how they usually work and what experience they have with your concerns. 

Therapy isn’t about being fixed or turning into someone else. It’s a space to make sense of what’s happening, understand yourself better and explore what you want to do next. Whether you're facing a specific challenge or you’re just feeling that something isn't quite right, you don't have to wait until you're in crisis to get support.

Sometimes, one conversation really can be the start of positive change, so if you’re considering therapy, why not take that first step? Shortlist a couple of therapists whose approach feels like a good fit for you and get in touch.