Let's talk about sex
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Gary Baker MBACP
18th May, 20160 Comments
Sex is a form of communication and can sometimes symbolise what is going on more broadly in our relationships. For example couples who are not having sex often need to work on communication, better still emotional communication. Taking time out to talk to each other about how you are feeling and listening to this can be the pathway to a more fulfilling sex life.
Not all of us have had the opportunity to explore what sort of sex we like. Often talking about this can lead to feelings of shame. Perhaps this is due to the environment we grew up in. Culture and society can play a defining part in how we relate to sex. Sex often comes with a moral judgement that also makes it more difficult to talk about. Society, religion and culture have strong views on sex. What's too much sex? What's too little? Am I trying to fit a perceived societal "norm"?
What if we were to consider the word normal as a discriminating and limiting word to use when thinking about sex? The sort of sex we enjoy can be as varied and individual as our taste in food and drink! Safe, sane and consensual are more useful and far less restrictive words to consider when thinking about the sex we like. With that in mind let's think about what ideas that opens us up to.
Yes sex can be fun and exciting rather than just functional. Knowing what we like and trying out new things can contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with sex. Being able to explore and express our sexuality can have a direct positive impact on our mental well being, helping us to be more true to ourselves and less about trying to fit with what others expect. Talking about sex and understanding how we relate to sex in a non judgemental space can be an illuminating and liberating experience. Counselling provides the opportunity to explore and understand more fully the relationship you have with sex.
About the author
I am an experienced integrative counsellor and an accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. I currently work with individuals and couples on a broad range of presenting issues. Of particular interest is developing the relationship we have with ourselves to be more compassionate, nurturing and supportive.
Related articles from our experts
- What is codependency?
Gherardo Della Marta MBACP counsellor in Holborn, Camden and Queens Park23rd April, 2017
- Toxic mums - healing the wounds in adulthood
Saska Plowman Psychotherapeutic Counsellor (Integrative) RMBACP21st April, 2017
- Grieving the loss of a friendship
Una Cavanagh MBACP (Accred)20th April, 2017
- So when and where do we learn to have good sex?
Edmond Oreilly MA MSc BACP Senior Accred.7th November, 2016
- More than just diabetes...
Karen Parke Relationship & Sexual Therapist18th September, 2016
- How to know if you have a problem with porn
Noel Bell MA, PG Dip Psych, UKCP14th September, 2016
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.