Bereavement and Loss

March 14th, 2011 by Gia Reale B.A. Hons, PGCE, DiplCouns, MBACP (Accred)

Bereavement is a complex issue and people can experience it in a variety of ways. There are also different types of bereavement, for example, as well as the more usual death of someone close to you, you can experience the same type of grief when you get divorced, loose your job, loose your good health, loose a loved pet or suffer any type of loss.

During bereavement you can experience a great many different feelings which can sometimes feel unmanageable. At times, your behaviour might be confusing to you and to those around you as your moods swing quite quickly from one emotion to another. Some of the emotions you might feel are sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, helplessness, numbness, shock and possibly relief, if someone has died after a long and painful illness or their death comes at the end of a relationship that has contained a lot of conflict.

Physical symptoms can also occur such as tightness in the chest or throat, lack of energy or stomach distress, these can be frightening, but are a common response in loss and bereavement.

Whether the loss was sudden or not, often makes no difference to how you feel when you loose someone or something valuable to you. We all know that loss is part of life, but knowing that does not really help when you are gripped with the pain of loss.

It can be hard to talk to people about your grief and at times you may feel that you do not want to keep talking about it to those close to you. You may also feel that they do not want to hear it again, or that they do not truly understand how you feel. Sometimes you might also feel that you cannot talk to those closest to you as they too are suffering the same grief.

People often think they are not getting through their grief and need help to get back to living. If you are feeling like this, then perhaps this is the right time to talk to someone who is not involved in your grief, but who can listen and talk through with you any areas that are worrying you or you feel have come to the surface because of your bereavement.