The Therapist In My Pocket

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Meet Janny

My name is Janny Juddly, and I’m a holistic psychotherapist and holistic practitioner. I have nearly 30 year’s experience of working with individuals, couples, families, children & young people and groups. I have also worked as both a lecturer and supervisor in psychotherapy and counselling, and continue to supervise practitioners both in organisations and private practice.

I also work with individuals and groups as a holistic life coach, and run training and workshops in mindfulness & meditation, relaxation and anxiety management, communication skills and confidence building.

Based in Shepshed, I offer holistic psychotherapy, counselling, reiki and other holistic therapies for Loughborough, Ashby-de-la-Zouch, Kegworth, Loughborough and surrounding areas face to face, on the phone and online.

Why am I called “The Therapist in my Pocket”?

Well, that arose quite a few years ago, and has stuck ever since. Clients often told me that when they found themselves in difficult situations, they would call to mind what we had talked about in sessions and it would feel as if they had me in their pocket reminding them, or lending them strength and courage.

It was such a lovely thought that clients felt that way that, as I began to write and share more of my thoughts and knowledge and expertise on social media and in podcasts, the name took on a life of its own.

I’m now known as the Therapist in my Pocket all over the world, and I love that I can be that for others. I see this human journey called Life as one in which it helps to have another walk alongside. Not as an expert – although, of-course, it helps that the person keeping us company has plenty of life experience and knowledge to share – but rather as a fellow traveller with wisdom and insight to share, but who also believes in us, in our own resourcefulness and resilience, and our innate ability to heal if given the right conditions.

If that sounds good to you, I’d love to offer you that company on the journey, and to walk alongside you while you find inside you the wisdom and strength and self-belief and self-compassion you need in order to heal

Our need for space and time out.
In this busy, sometimes bewildering, often stressful world, where life can so frequently just seem to take over, and where unexpected happenings can knock us off course to the point where we just want it all to stop, take some time out, breathe more slowly, find time to think and a way to get ourselves back on track, I'd like to offer you some space.

We live life at such frantic speed most of the time, we eat on the go, we text rather than phone because it's quicker, things often feel chaotic and hurried and like there's no time. We're often hazily aware that we're not really thinking things through, that we're just reacting to life and to others rather than reflecting and responding. We're functioning, but it's hard to enjoy our life or the people in it much of the time.

And that's on a good day. When things are going reasonably well, and we're getting by.

Add into the mix something extra - it could be something sudden and unexpected, like illness or a bereavement, a relationship breakdown or redundancy; or it could be something that we've been putting out of our mind for a very long time, maybe something that happened when we were younger that hurt or shamed us. We've been trying to ignore it but suddenly it won't go away any longer.

Or it could be an old wound or hurt that happened a long time ago. Maybe something that's just happened has brought the memory back up to the surface, and we know we need to deal with it, but don't know how or where to begin. Like the death of a parent, or being bullied, feeling stupid at school, or isolated or lonely.

It could be something current, like finding out we are ill, or something happening that turns our world upside down. It can be something frightening, or unbearably sad, or a loss or change we just can't see our way to getting over. Or through.

Sometimes it can be something that's difficult to put into words, or to find a reason for, like a general feeling of unhappiness. Of knowing deep down that all is not well and that we've just been trying to put on a brave face, but really pretending for a very long time. Sometimes for a whole lifetime, to ourselves as well as to other people.

We long for space to think things through, sort them out. To find a better way.  But there never is any such space to be found. Other people make demands on us, expect lots from us, or are genuinely dependent on us.

We end up feeling guilty, and stretched. We can feel resentful and defeated and powerless to change anything. Yet we long for things to change, often telling ourselves that things will be better 'one day' if we can just keep going for a while longer.

Does life feel like it's getting on top of you a bit like this?
Could you benefit from a place to take some time-out?
Some 'space?'
... to explore your thoughts and feelings
... to get back on a front foot again
... to work it out in such a way that you don't look back?

Except to say, 'Look how far I've come, and where I am now! I didn't think I had it in me! I didnt think I could ever find myself here. I'm so proud I did it!'

I'd like to offer you exactly this kind of space.

Jamie's story:

"I had known for a good year that things weren't right. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't thinking clearly, I had withdrawn from everyone, I felt overwhelmed and stressed all the time. Friends would ask me if I was okay and I would just brush them off by saying I was just tired or had a lot on at work. But really, I knew I was really unhappy. I was fighting back tears a lot of the time, and couldn't see anything good about my life or my future.

Then one night I broke down to a friend, and was amazed when he told me he'd seen a therapist a couple of years ago and that he'd encourage me to go and talk. He gave me The Therapist in my Pocket's business card, and urged me to make an appointment. He said he could recommend them highly, and that a number of people he knew had been there over the years to see Janny, and that he'd highly recommend her. It really surprised me that I wasn't the only one.

I kept it in my wallet for another 4 months or so, because every now and then things would feel better for a little while and so I would convince myself that I didn't need to go.

But one Sunday evening, late, I went onto her website and sent a message. I still played down how bad things really were, and said I was a bit stressed and needed a few techniques to help me manage it. I knew it was much worse than that, but I felt embarrassed to say it like it really was.

We set up an appointment, and I felt both relieved and scared at the same time. I nearly backed out when I turned into the road as well. I nearly turned the car around and drove off. But I'm so glad I didn't. I'm so glad I knocked on the door.

That night was the turning point. The relief of talking to someone who made it easy to talk and who just seemed to get it was unimaginable. Gradually and very gently Janny helped me to say the things I'd been bottling up.  And she had a way of drawing all the different threads together in a way that started to make sense of it all. She picked up everything, and seemed to hold it all and then give it back to me so I could start to hear what I was really saying, and so everything started to feel more manageable.

And it wasn't just stuff about now. And it wasn't that I talked and she just listened. It was a lively two-way conversation, not like some people I'd heard describe where they'd been asked to fill out tick boxes, or where they'd been talking to someone who didn't seem to say much back. She said lots back, and gave shape and meaning to what I said. Stuff now and stuff from the past. And it all linked up, it all started to make sense.

I realised that who we are is the story of what we've known, and therefore of what we've come to expect and believe. And I came to see that who I was now was all about who I'd been, what I'd lived, what I'd known and the sense I'd made of those things. It had never occurred to me that other people in the world might see those things differently, or might not react the way I did. Janny referred to it as the way we 'cut and paste' our own experiences onto everything we come into contact with. I came to see that I would react to certain people in exactly the ways I might once have reacted to other significant people in my life. Like I was replaying the same old stories over and over again without knowing I was doing it.

I learned that feelings and thoughts were different things, and I discovered how the mind affects the body and vice versa. I realised that memory is really powerful, and that sometimes I felt like an adult, but lots of the time I felt like a child. She helped me to see that this was when old memories took over, and showed me how to get back into an adult place and feel empowered again.

Together we unravelled how I spent so much of my life pretending, being what other people wanted me to be, trying to do and say what would make people like me, but that this meant I wasn't ever really being myself. In fact, worse still, I realised with a shock that I didn't even know who I was because it had been so long since I'd been able to notice what I really felt or really thought.

Janny talked about something called a 'false self,' a sort of mask we learn to wear and show to the world because that's what we've come to believe the world wants. We wear it to protect ourselves so we don't get hurt or shamed or rejected or make people angry or upset. We become so good at wearing it that eventually we don't even know we're doing it.

But the problem with that mask is that, although it seems to protect us, it actually also hides who we really are, even from ourselves. We don't know what we really feel or think about anything, we don't know what our likes are, our interests are, what we want to do or to be. Everything starts to feel a bit empty and meaningless, like we're just existing and trying hard to meet everyone else's needs. I realised that I had a lot of feelings underneath about all of that.

I had kind of known some of this, but I think I'd been really scared to look at it. I couldn't see how that was ever going to change, and had thought that if I tried to change I would lose everyone.

But Janny helped me to think about that, without any pressure at all to do anything unless and until I was ready. She never pushed, just encouraged and empowered. She helped me believe that my life could be different, and to understand that change happens in small steps, tiny changes, and that we can take our time.

That's the thing about being given space. She sort of held a space that I could gradually become myself in, a safe space where I could try things out and think out loud without having to do anything in the outside world until I was ready.

And that gradually turned everything around. I would experiment by maybe saying things slightly differently, or by saying what I wanted sometimes instead of saying I didn't mind. It felt good, and the world didn't end.

As I got braver, I began to risk saying things I never would have thought possible in a million years. But by now I wanted to say them, I didn't want to pretend. Being myself and speaking up with my own voice had become too important for me to just go along with things anymore.

The great thing, also, was that Janny had a huge wealth of techniques and advice about how to speak in a way that meant I would be heard but wouldn't give offence. I realised that even when I might have wanted to say something before I wouldn't have known how to begin. Now I was learning techniques and strategies that really worked, and made me feel like I could do it. I felt skilled and my confidence was growing.

Wherever I wanted to go, Janny would go there with me. In that space, we could talk about anything and prepare for anything. I used to joke that I had her there with me on my shoulder whenever I would tackle something that felt a bit challenging. It was such a good feeling to have that support, and to have that space to go back to and review how things had gone.

I look back sometimes and pinch myself. I never would have thought this could be me. I never would have thought I could have turned my life around like this. Life feels easy and no longer scary or stressful, because I'm no longer pretending. What you see is what you get now, so there's nowhere to fall.

I now carry that business card around with me, and I've passed on the details to a number of friends and colleagues. A close friend is seeing Janny at this moment, and is finding her calmness and ability to make sense of what's going on so helpful. And a couple I know saw Janny a few months ago and turned their relationship around. I'm totally converted! I think everyone should go and get this kind of help.

If you're like me, putting it off and putting it off, I just want to say don't do that anymore. Make yourself more important than that anymore. Pick up the phone and get in touch. You won't look back."

Why healing matters

Why do we need to 'deal with' things that are troubling us? At all?

Isn't it just as effective - better, even - to 'just get over it?' Put it in a box and fasten the lid down tightly?

To just forget about it? Put it away? Blank it? Ignore it?

Why would we want to open up old wounds? Go over old ground? Talk about things that can't be changed? How does that help? Doesn't that just make it worse? Aren't we just opening up a can of worms?

Isn't that just moaning, or being negative? Won't people just think we're going on about nothing?

And anyway, what's the point if it can't be changed? How is it going to make any difference? Aren't we likely to feel worse rather than better?

These are all important questions, aren't they? Valid points. Why wouldn't we ask ourselves these things? We want to know that something is going to make a difference and that we're going to feel better, and that it will have been worth it, don't we?

Maybe a good place to start is to consider what happens when we don't heal. In particular, what happens when we store memories, feelings and experiences in our mind and body rather than processing them and resolving them so that we can properly let them go.

First and foremost, it's important to understand that feelings don't just disappear because we push them away or try to ignore them. What actually happens is that these are stored and held in our nervous system and in our body. They don't disappear, they just get lodged somewhere else. And the fear centre in our brain - the Amygdala - continues to detect they are there every time something triggers them, however briefly. The more times this happens, the more the Amygdala receives confirmation that these thoughts or feelings are a threat, and so it goes into a state of high alert every time they threaten to surface.

When this happens, we experience anxiety and panic, and the symptoms of 'fight or flight.' These include our heart beating faster, feeling sick, sweating, tension and muscle pain, dizziness, difficulty in concentrating, feeling weak or like we might faint, and a sense of breathlessness or fear that we can't breathe.

The more we try to push something away, the more it keeps coming up to the surface, because our mind is aware that we're caught in a fear cycle, and keeps attempting to help us back towards health by bringing to our attention the very things we're trying to keep putting away.

This is often the stage we are at when we realise that we need to seek help. We've tried all the usual ways we usually try to deal with things, and they haven't worked. This problem or issue or memory or worry refuses to go away, and the more we try to squash it down, the worse the symptoms in our body become.

This is why healing matters. It is why we need a space where we can find a way - with another's expert and experienced help - to bring to the surface what is causing us to react in this way, and which will give us no peace until it is dealt with.

My approach

My initial training was psychodynamic. However, within that training there was significant emphasis placed upon the theory and practice of other models.

These included:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Humanistic PsychotherapyCompassion-based Psychotherapy
Brief Solution-Focussed Therapy
Gestalt
Person-centred
Cognitive Analytical Therapy (CAT)
Drama Therapy
Integrative Psychotherapy
Holistic Psychotherapy

In practice, my theoretical model is a holistic and integrative one, underpinned by my original psychodynamic foundation,  and I adjust that model and way of working to the needs of each individual client.

I am committed to providing a safe, respectful, lively and engaging space for you. My style is warm and friendly, but you will also find me very open, honest, challenging and insightful, and an active partner in your healing process.

My approach is holistic, and this means that we will see you, and treat you, as a complex human being, mind-body-spirit. I will see you as being many parts, many experiences, the sum total of all of these having brought you to where you are right now.  And I will hold you to be capable of healing yourself, of finding your way through whatever is troubling you right now, and of having all the resources you need inside you.

I won't categorise you or diagnose you with a tick box list.  Instead I will see you as uniquely you, needing a correspondingly unique set of solutions, which suit your personality, circumstances and environment.

All you need is my active company, support and expertise, and my willingness to really listen and understand, and to share my knowledge and experience with you, honestly and openly.  And that you will have.

What to expect in your first session

We understand how nerve-wracking it can feel to come and see a total stranger for the first time, especially when we are feeling vulnerable or upset, and know we need help.

We worry about how to explain what's going on for us, and whether our therapist is going to understand.

We might worry that they will think we're making a fuss about nothing, or 'being silly.'

What if we get tearful, or feel overwhelmed or find it hard to get our words out?

It feels really important to say that all of these feelings and concerns are completely normal, and that everyone who comes along to see a therapist feels exactly this way.

It might also be helpful to say that I, too, have sat in your chair, many years ago now, with my own therapist, full of those same worries and anxieties. So I have a pretty good idea how you'll be feeling, and will very quickly help you to feel comfortable and put you at ease.

I'll help you talk about what's brought you, and we'll help you to explore how things have got to where they are now, help you start to make some sense of what's going on, and towards the end I'll discuss with you what the best way forward seems to be.

This is an entirely equal process, I'll give you lots of input,  and encourage you to reflect on what I'm saying and what you also think feels right.

Often, people feel able to decide straight away whether or not they'd like to come into therapy for a while, and we then negotiate together how long we'll work together for, and how.

Sometimes, however, people feel they'd like to go away and think about it, or to discuss it with their family. That is perfectly acceptable, and no pressure will be put on you in any way. All you have committed to is an initial session to meet and see it this is for you.

I will do our best to make that process as comfortable and useful as possible.

My fee is £65 for a 50 minute session. My practice is to ask for payment of fees via bank transfer prior to a session. Details on request.

We offer private parking on the premises, and are close to bus routes between Loughborough and Ashby. We are very close to Junction 23 of the M1.

We are experienced in assisting employees who are trying to manage stress in the workplace, and can offer specific help with stress management, time management, dealing with difficult people, and communication and interpersonal skills.

We also have a wealth of experience and expertise in the area of mental health, including supporting family members who find themselves in a carer's role.