Ruth Murtagh

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Hello, I'm Ruth

I am a Relate-trained Relationship Therapist and Counsellor with over 38 years' experience working in the caring professions - as a Teacher, Art Therapist, and Relationship Therapist, both at Relate and in private practice.

I hold an MA in Relationship Therapy with Distinction from the Relate Institute, (University of Hull).

I am genuinely passionate about helping couples and individuals move out of painful and destructive patterns, and towards the relationships they truly want - with their partners, their families, and themselves.

I work inclusively, welcoming clients of all ages, backgrounds, cultures, identities, and abilities. I am an LGBTQIA+ ally.

 
Who I Work With
If you're reading this, you may be feeling unhappy, stuck, or longing for something to be different. You are not alone - and you don't have to navigate it alone either.

You may be an individual who is...

-Hoping to make positive changes in your relationship

-Coping with the loss of a relationship and trying to find a way forward

-Looking for a lasting connection and struggling to find it

-Trying to decide whether to stay in or leave your relationship

-Affected by childhood experiences that still influence how you relate to others       

-Not sure exactly what the problem is - but knowing that things don't feel quite right         

You may be a couple who are...

-Wondering if you can rediscover the love you once had and build something new together           

-Feeling stuck in cycles of conflict without resolution

-Struggling with trust, jealousy, or feeling emotionally disconnected

-Looking for support navigating a major decision -including whether to stay together

-Perhaps there are also relationships with children, wider family, friends, or  colleagues that are causing you pain. Or you may be unhappy with your own behaviour and want to understand it better.

-Many individuals and couples come to counselling carrying exhaustion and  stress. After all - we're not given a relationship manual when we're born. For  many of us, improving our relationship with ourselves is the most important first step.

Reasons People Come for Counselling

-Wanting to change unhelpful behaviours that have affected relationships - past and present

-Feeling stuck in bickering and unable to resolve the real issues

-Feeling alone, whether in or out of a relationship

-Feeling that you and your partner are not meeting each other's needs

-Finding it hard to move past pain caused earlier in the relationship, or in  childhood

-Feeling insecure, jealous, or afraid your partner might leave

-Feeling unheard, overwhelmed, or criticised

-Dealing with an affair or a breach of trust

-Different views on parenting that are causing strain as a couple

-Relationship difficulties affecting your sex life

-Struggling with relationships at work or in other areas of life

 
Relationship MOT - Don't Wait for a Crisis
Many people seek a couples therapist when things have already been difficult for some time. But what if you could prevent that? A Relationship MOT gives you the chance to address smaller issues before they grow - strengthening your relationship proactively rather than reactively.

You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling. If you're thinking 'it's probably not serious enough' - that's often the best time to come.

 
Dating Support
I offer  support for individuals navigating the world of dating - including online dating. I can help you with:

-Building confidence as you go on dates

-Trusting your own judgement

-Working through disappointments or difficult experiences

-Finding -and recognising - the right person for you

Support for Parents

I can also support you if you are a parent who is:

-Wanting to improve your relationship with your children

-Finding your children's behaviour difficult to understand or manage

-Finding that parenting challenges are affecting you and your partner as  a couple

-Wanting to feel more confident in your parenting

 
How Counselling Can Help
Relationship counselling provides a safe, confidential space to talk - with or without your partner - in a supportive, non-judgemental environment. It can help you to:

-Develop closeness, trust, and intimacy

-Change your behaviour towards more preferred ways of being

-Resolve conflict more constructively and feel closer as a result

-Understand your own and your partner's needs - and how they can be met

-Create a more relaxed and satisfying sex life

-Feel better about yourself and improve relationships with family, friends and colleagues

-Some couples seek counselling to decide whether to stay together or separate. Others have already decided to part, but want to do so constructively - for themselves and their families. 

 
My Approach
I will listen carefully and without judgement. I do not take sides.

I believe that we are all doing our best in the situations we face - even when our behaviour seems destructive or self-sabotaging. My role is to help you explore and develop more preferred ways of living and relating.

Our work together will always be collaborative. I won't tell you what to do - I'll work alongside you to discover what your preferred way of living looks like, and how to get there.

I tailor my approach to suit each person's or couple's unique needs, drawing on a wide range of therapeutic models. I have lots of ideas, tools and resources, too, if you would like them.

Please note: It is not safe to work with a couple where any kind of physical, emotional, or persistent verbal abuse is present or has been present. I am therefore unable to work with relationships where abuse is, or has been an issue.

What to Expect
During our first session, I will ask what has brought you to counselling and explore your hopes for our work together. It is also a chance for you to decide whether I feel like the right fit for you - there is no obligation to continue if you don't feel comfortable.

Sessions are 60 minutes. You may come for one session, a few, or leave it open - it is entirely up to you.

Some clients like to set specific goals; others prefer to keep things more open. Either approach works.

Counselling sessions are confidential. I will not share what you discuss with anyone, unless there is a risk of serious harm.

 Therapeutic Approaches I Use

My initial Relate training grounded me in both the Systemic and Psychodynamic models, bridged by Attachment theory:

•       The Systemic model helps us understand ourselves, our beliefs, and our behaviours within the systems we are part of - family, work, school, friendships, and wider society.

•       The Psychodynamic model helps us understand our thoughts and behaviour in the context of our past experiences, often enabling a gradual and increasing self-awareness.

•       Attachment theory explores how we form bonds, and how ruptures in those bonds can be understood and repaired.

I also draw on CBT, Relational Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Solution-Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Gottman methods, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and more.

Get in Touch
I understand that making that first contact can feel daunting - but in many ways, it is the hardest part. Once you reach out, I will do everything I can to make the process as easy and comfortable as possible.

Phone/Text:  07936 705 515 (please leave a voicemail and I will return your call within 1-2 days)

Email: counsellingleeds@gmail.com - or use the contact buttons on my profile page

I offer a free 15-minute phone call so you can share a little about what you're looking for and decide whether you'd like to meet for a session.

Taking that first step can feel daunting - but many of my clients tell me it was the best decision they made. Do feel free to get in touch

Special Interests:

• Helping distressed and unhappy couples re-connect and understand each other.

• Working with individuals to understand their relationship patterns so that they can find a partner that feels right for them.
• Dating support for individuals- navigating the world of online or other types of dating.

• Working with individuals who are working through the loss of relationship and finding a way forward.

• Supporting parents to have more positive relationships with their children.

Per hour: Daytime/ Evenings

Individuals: £55 per session

Couples:      £80 per session (a reduced rate of £70 is available- feel free to ask).

All sessions are 60 minutes.

I believe therapy should be accessible. I aim to keep my fees fair for the level of care, commitment and experience that I bring.

Free roadside parking.

Bus routes 2 and 12 to and from Leeds centre run regularly.

I have a wheelchair accessible, lovely counselling room with a separate entrance. It is purpose built and discreetly situated on a peaceful road.