Ruth Murtagh

Hello, I’m Ruth,                                     

I'm a Relate-trained Relationship therapist/ counsellor.

If you’re reading this, you may be feeling unhappy on your own, or wanting your relationship to be different.

You may be an individual:

• hoping to make changes in your relationship.
• trying to cope with the loss of a relationship,
• you would like to find lasting love.
• You may be wanting to decide whether to stay in, or leave your relationship.
• you may be affected by the impact of childhood experiences.

You may be in a couple:

• wondering if you can rediscover the love you once had with your partner
• or to find a different way forward.

Perhaps there are relationships with your children or wider family, with friends or at work that upset you; or you are unhappy with your own behaviour.

If you long for a healthy relationship that doesn’t leave you feeling hurt, you are not alone. Many individuals and couples struggle with difficulties which can bring pain: leaving them feeling exhausted and stressed. After all, we’re not given a relationship manual when we’re born.

For many of us, improving our relationship with ourselves is key.

Here are some of the reasons why couples or individuals come for relationship counselling:

• Wanting to change unhelpful behaviours that may have also affected past relationships.
• Feeling stuck in a cycle of bickering and not sorting the issues out.
• Feeling alone whether you’re in or out of a relationship.
• Feeling that you/ your partner don’t meet each-others’ needs.
• Finding it hard to forget the pain you or your partner have experienced earlier in your relationship, or as a child.
• Feeling insecure with your partner;  jealous, or afraid they might want to leave you.
• Thinking that there are too many demands made of you, or that you're not listened to.
• One or both of you lack trust in the other, or feel criticised.
• Dealing with an affair. 
• Having different views about parenting your children and needing some relationship support for yourselves as a couple
• Relationship issues causing an unsatisfying sex-life.
• Finding relationships at work or with others difficult to manage.

Relationship counselling provides you with a safe, confidential space to talk with-or without-your partner in a supportive, non-judgemental environment. It can support you to:

• Develop closeness, trust and intimacy within an emotionally safe relationship with your partner.
• Help you to change your behaviour to more preferred ways of being.
• Resolve conflict more helpfully and bring you closer to your partner.
• Understand your own and your partner’s needs better, and how they can be met
• Create a more relaxed and satisfying sex-life.
• Be happier with yourself, and improve relationships with family, friends, or at work.

Some couples seek counselling to decide whether to stay together or split up. Or they may already have decided to split, but want to do it in a constructive way for themselves and their families.

All couples or individuals are welcome- any age, culture, religion, LGBTQIA+ or physical ability. I am anti- prejudice of any kind. 

Dating Support

I can support you:

• with your dating profile
• support as you try out dates
• work through any disappointments or upsets you may experience
• and most importantly, as you find the person who feels 'right'.

I can support you if you’re a parent:

• Wanting to improve your relationships with your children.
• Finding the behaviour of your children difficult to understand or manage.
• Finding that the issues with your children are impacting on you as a couple and you want to create a more united approach
• Wanting more confidence with parenting your children.

You don’t have to deal with difficult and painful issues alone. I can support you to develop the relationship that you want.

What if your problems don't feel 'serious' enough? Do you worry about looking silly?

The answer is NO, you will not look silly. If you're thinking it might be a good idea to iron out a few smaller issues, please come now, before they get bigger. 

Relationship MOT/ Check-up

Many people call a couples therapist when things are not going well and they’ve been having problems for some time. But what if you could avoid your relationship from becoming difficult? By having a relationship MOT and dealing with smaller issues that still bother you, you could avoid the crisis point and the need to see a therapist later on.

My Approach

I will listen carefully and will not judge you. I do not take sides.

I believe that we are all doing our 'best' in situations, even when our behaviour can seem destructive or self-sabotaging. My role is to help you explore and develop preferred ways of behaving and living your life.

I have over 36 years’ experience working in the caring professions as a Teacher, Art Therapist and Relationship Therapist at Relate and in Private practice. I work inclusively, embracing the difference and diversity of all people.

I am genuinely passionate about helping couples and individuals move out of destructive and painful patterns of relating with each other. I can help you to deal with some of the difficult issues that you may be dealing with.

However, it is not safe to work with a couple if any kind of physical or emotional abuse is present in the relationship. For this reason I do nor work with relationships if abuse is an issue.

I really care about all of my clients and tailor my approach to suit each person’s/ couple’s unique needs.

I do understand that it can be daunting making that first contact, but in some ways, that's the hardest part. You may wish to have one session, a few, or leave it open. It's up to you.

Feel free to:

• Text me on 07936 705 515
• Call and leave a message on 07936 705 515. I won’t answer the phone, but will pick up your message. 
• Email me using the buttons at the top or bottom of my profile.

I will get back to you within 1-2 days and arrange to call you for a free 15-minute chat so that you can tell me a bit about your issues and then you can decide if you'd like to meet me for a session.

Professional Registration:

BACP

Relate -Register of Counsellors

Member of The Association of Family Therapists

Which therapeutic models do I use?

My initial training, with the Relate Institute, involved both the Systemic and the Psychodynamic models.

The Systemic model helps us to understand ourselves, our beliefs and behaviours in the context of the systems we are in, past and present. These ‘systems’ may be family, work, school, friendships or any other groups, including our wider society.

The Psychodynamic model helps us to understand our thoughts and behaviour in the context of our past experiences, sometimes making connections from the past with how we behave and view things in the present. This often enables clients to develop a gradual and increasing self-awareness.

I also use many elements of CBT, Relational, Transactional Analysis, Attachment Theory, Solution-focussed Therapy, Narrative Therapy and Compassion-focussed Therapy, to name a few.

Special Interests:

• Helping distressed and unhappy couples re-connect and understand each other.

• Working with individuals to understand their relationship patterns so that they can find a partner that feels right for them.
• Dating support for individuals- navigating the world of online or other types of dating.

• Working with individuals who are working through the loss of relationship and finding a way forward.

• Supporting parents to have more positive relationships with their children.

Per hour: Daytime/ Evenings

£55- Individuals (One hour)

[£50 (individuals lower waged)]

£70- Couples (One hour)

Free roadside parking.

Bus routes 2 and 12 to and from Leeds centre run regularly.

I have a wheelchair accessible, lovely counselling room with a separate entrance. It is purpose built and discreetly situated on a peaceful road.