Robert Sorrell

ABOUT ME AND MY PRACTICE

Men who come to see me describe feeling overwhelmed at work, lying awake worrying about whether they are good enough, or getting through the week on autopilot.

Some feel they have to get everything right. A comment from a manager can leave them wondering whether their job is on the line. Others work harder and harder, hoping someone will notice.

At home, some say, “I can never do enough.”

They may feel on the edge of family life, go quiet when things become tense, or keep conversations on the surface because they do not know what else to say.

Some feel criticised or blamed. Some genuinely are being criticised. Often both people are struggling to make sense of what the other needs.

Things get held in.

Then something small can tip them over.

A pile of washing. Somebody cutting them up in traffic. A colleague making another mess at work.

Afterwards they may feel ashamed or apologetic. Or still feel completely justified.

Some men tell me they are pissed off, down, stuck, or simply say:

“I’m off track.”

“I don’t feel motivated to do anything anymore.”

“I just switch off and get through the week.”

They may be drinking more because it helps them relax. Scrolling for hours. Working late. Watching porn. Flirting with somebody else because the attention feels exciting.

Sometimes they just want some peace.

Relationships can slowly become about coping rather than being together.

One man may feel he is there mainly to provide the money and that nobody notices much else about him.

Another may be so busy with his partner that questions such as buying a house or having children keep getting pushed aside because they never really stop.

Sex may have become awkward, infrequent or stopped altogether.

“We haven’t had sex for four years.”

“I don’t know how to instigate it.”

When there has been tension or resentment for a long time, even trying to get close can start to feel difficult.

Some men find saying “I love you” to their children awkward or cringe.

“It’s just not something we did in my family.”

They may connect easily through sport or doing things together, but find the talking part harder.

A man can know he loves his family and still not know what to say when somebody is upset.

He may say “I love you” because he wants an argument to stop, while finding it much harder to say:

“I don’t like it when you shout at me.”

“I’m frightened.”

“I feel like whatever I do is wrong.”

A lot of the men I see are exhausted.

They are trying to keep things going at work and at home and often have nowhere they feel able to talk honestly about what is happening.

Some have close friends. Others have mates but say the conversation stays around work, football, bravado or whatever they happen to be doing.

One man said to me:

“This is the only place I feel heard and can talk about these things.”

You do not need to arrive knowing what the problem is.

We can start with what is happening.

WHAT WORKING WITH ME IS LIKE

I’m not there to tell you how to live.

I’ll listen carefully, but I won’t leave you to work everything out on your own.

I’ll ask questions, share what I notice and, when something important seems to be getting lost, we can slow down and look at it together.

We may talk about what happened this week.

The meeting you cannot stop thinking about.

The argument last night.

Why you said yes when you wanted to say no.

Why one comment from your partner stayed with you for three days.

Why you lost your temper over something that now seems small.

Why you keep telling yourself you deserve another drink after a hard day.

Sometimes what is happening now takes us back to earlier experiences.

Sometimes it does not.

I am not interested in forcing everything back to your childhood or sitting silently while you try to work out what you are “supposed” to say.

We start with your life as it actually is.

I cannot promise what will change. Nobody honestly can.

But things can change.

Men I have worked with have described feeling calmer at home, being able to set a boundary without feeling guilty, worrying less, making time for things they enjoy, telling their children they love them, feeling stronger, and handling situations differently rather than reacting in the same way every time.

One client described it this way:

“Pressure at work and home had left me constantly stressed, angry and snappy, causing real friction at home and work. Working with Robert helped me turn things around. I learned how to de-escalate interactions at home and fundamentally shift how our family communicates.”

Another said:

“I approach my life and relationships with greater confidence and openness.”

We will do this together.

ABOUT ME
I’m Robert Sorrell, a psychotherapeutic counsellor working particularly with men.

Before becoming a counsellor, I spent around 30 years working with people in organisations, leadership and change.

So when you talk about difficult bosses, restructures, being expected to know the answer, trying to prove yourself, feeling that nobody is listening, or wondering how much longer you can keep doing it, I know something of that world.

My understanding is personal too.

I grew up learning to read the room, keep quiet and not make things worse.

Some of the ways I learned to deal with life followed me into adulthood.

My own therapy has involved looking at that honestly.

I have also been a father, been married and divorced, loved, lost, succeeded, failed, got things wrong and started again.

I am not telling you this because I think your life is the same as mine.

It won’t be.

But very little you tell me is likely to shock me.

We can talk about anger, shame, sex, drinking, porn, affairs, work, money, children, relationships, fear, failure, feeling trapped, wanting to leave, or loving your family and sometimes desperately wanting to be left alone.

You do not need to tidy any of it up before you come

YOUR FIRST SESSION
You do not need to prepare.

You do not need a diagnosis.

You do not need to know why you feel the way you do.

And you do not need to tell me your whole life story.

You might arrive saying:

“I’m not sleeping.”

“I’m angry all the time.”

“I can’t face work.”

“My relationship is a mess.”

“I’m drinking too much.”

“I don’t feel like myself.”

Or simply:

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I just know I can’t carry on like this.”

We can start there.

Your first appointment is a full 50-minute counselling session, not a sales call or a short introductory chat.

We talk about what has been happening and what has brought you here now.

I may ask what keeps going round in your head, what happens when things become tense at home, what you have already tried, or what feels hardest at the moment.

You can ask me questions too.

At the end, we talk honestly about what the session was like.

Whether you felt able to talk to me.

Whether you felt I understood something of what is happening.

And whether it feels worth meeting again.

If we continue, we usually meet weekly at a regular time.

TRAINING AND PRACTICAL DETAILS
I am a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

MBACP 409400

Postgraduate Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling
Psychosynthesis Trust, London · 2024

My core training is in Psychosynthesis, supported by humanistic, psychodynamic, existential, relational and transpersonal ways of working.

I work in person at the Psychosynthesis Trust, Tooley Street, London Bridge, and online across the UK.

Sessions: 50 minutes
Fee: £95
Usually weekly

Types of therapy

Brief therapy, Creative therapy, Existential, Integrative, Psychosynthesis, Solution focused brief therapy, Systemic, Transpersonal

Clients I work with
Adults, Older adults, Organisations

How I deliver therapy
Long term sessions, Long-term face-to-face work, Online therapy, Short-term face-to-face work

Languages spoken
English