How to have a happy healthy sex life in isolation
Many couples are currently wondering how they can maintain a happy and healthy sex life whilst in isolation. Whether you are alone and away from your partner or you are spending lockdown together, the stresses of the circumstances we currently find ourselves in can have a significant impact on our relationships.
Helping to reduce stress and anxiety, aid relaxation and release feel-good endorphins, intimate behaviour can help to foster a sense of togetherness and mutual care and love. Something that, in times of a crisis, can be both comforting and beneficial.
Sex and intimacy when you’re isolating together
In a recent mood survey conducted by our couples’ brand We-Vibe, nearly four in 10 (38%) of those polled said they craved more physical closeness with their partners during isolation, with 31% finding this reciprocated by their significant other. Increased sexual needs and wants while isolating is unsurprising.
Talking to your partner about how you’re feeling, including telling them about your fantasies and sexual desires, can feel quite intimidating but if you approach the conversation in the right way, you’ll wonder why you hadn’t discussed the subject sooner. If you are connected emotionally, then you will most likely be connected physically as well.
Yes, sex can be a sensitive subject, so it is best to approach the conversation gently. Reinforce why you enjoy your sex life and what you enjoy about it. Perhaps begin with, “Our sex is amazing, and I thought it might be fun to try…” or “I love when you do that and wondered if you might like to also do…” to avoid any uncomfortable moments between you.
Trying something new in the bedroom, such as experimenting with fantasies, can be a great way to relieve some of our current frustrations and natural boredom. For those who took part in the survey, 24% said that they fantasise about sex with a stranger. This might not be something suitable for all relationships, but introducing roleplay into the bedroom could be the perfect solution to keep both partners happy.
Talking during sex is a really great way of letting your partner know what you want and don’t want, and also that you’re having a good time. Finding mutually satisfying dialogue might be the way forward.
– Sex and relationship therapist, Lohani Noor in ‘Your Sex Questions Answered.’
It is easy to get into a rut during lockdown, especially whilst we’re unable to enjoy our usual everyday activities. Lockdown and the idea of spending a lot of time together may have sounded great – bringing you closer – but actually, with our everyday responsibilities, the increased stressors and lack of true alone time, it’s not surprising if you’re not feeling particularly intimate.
If you want to reignite this spark though, introducing a toy, having sex in a new position, or sharing fantasies can all be great ways to mix things up and experience something new together.
At the same time, it is important to remain considerate of each other’s feelings and make an effort with each other. Physical contact does not always have to be limited to the bedroom. A loving gesture such as a hug, kiss, and words of affection show you are there for each other, offer much-needed reassurance and help to strengthen your relationship.
Although we can’t go to restaurants, why not surprise your partner with a romantic home-cooked meal? If you know they have had a stressful day, why not offer to run them a relaxing bath? Approaching your love-life with affection and curiosity keeps things exciting and enhance feelings of well-being.
Sex and intimacy when you’re isolating apart
If you’re isolating apart from your significant other, it can feel like an impossible task to keep the spark alive, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. Keep things fun, flirty and playful, and do what feels most natural to you and your relationship.
If you are confident with phone sex, then why not consider another form of sexy tech? Advances in technology make it much easier to stay close to your partner whilst living apart. There is a wide range of sex toys for couples, including devices that can be operated remotely, so that you and your partner can remain intimate and pleasure one another despite not being together.
For example, tech such as the We-Vibe We-Connect app enables you to operate sex toys to provide each other with intimate pleasure at a distance. Creating that sense of closeness, it is an intuitive, secure way to feel connected to your partner. With many products being easily synchronised to the free app via Bluetooth, you can hand control over to your partner, no matter where they are located.
The We-Vibe Chorus is the perfect toy to experience long-distance lovemaking. When in isolation away from your lover, your partner can take control of the toy via the app. Thanks to built-in sensors, the Touch-Sense modes enable the toy to react to body movement if desired – and intensify the stimulation without having to press a single button.
Don’t be afraid to also consider “self-love”
Our research found that more than half (55%) are masturbating more often than usual. Embrace these urges rather than ignore them. Although joint sexual activity promotes the ‘love hormone’ and brings couples closer together, sexual activity of any kind – even “self-love” – releases dopamine, which not only makes us more optimistic but also activates a burst of happiness. Introducing a toy, or using a different toy, is a great way to improve your masturbation session. Different playthings create different feelings which can break-up your standard masturbating technique and introduce a new way of orgasming.
Mutual masturbation is another great way to help you and your partner become closer, even when living apart, as it will allow you and your significant other to gain a better understanding of how to truly satisfy each other and how you like to be touched, ready for when you are able to reunite.
Remember that this period of isolation is an unprecedented time of stress and uncertainty, so it is important to carve out time for those moments of solace and enjoyment, both with your partner and alone.
There are many benefits to sex and sexual intimacy, both physically and emotionally. Learn more about how your mental health can impact your sex life, and how to boost your sex life while looking after your mental health on Happiful.
And, if you’re wanting to know more about the benefits of couples therapy, read our fact-sheet. For professional support, we have more than 6,000 relationship therapists offering online support right now.