What to expect from a person-centred counsellor

Taking your first steps towards counselling can feel daunting. There are many different types of counselling, and you may have questions. What will I talk about? Can counselling really help me? Will my counsellor really understand me? Will I be judged? These are natural concerns, and many people feel anxious about what to expect from the process.

I have also heard clients say, "I don’t think my issues are serious enough for counselling and I’m not sure what to say." There is no right or wrong way to begin counselling. Some people begin with a clear issue they would like to explore, while others know that something is not right and want a safe place to explore this.

Every counsellor works within a theoretical approach, often referred to as a modality. The person-centred approach was developed by Carl Rogers, an American Psychologist and Psychotherapist, in the 1950s. Rogers believed that all human beings had the innate capacity to grow and change, especially if the correct conditions were present.

So, what can you expect when choosing to work with a person-centred counsellor?

You are at the heart of the counselling process

Some forms of counselling are more directive and offer structured tasks, but the person-centred approach is different. You decide what you would like to bring to each session and what direction you would like to go in. Rogers firmly believed that it was the client, not the counsellor, who was the expert on themselves. The aim is not for the counsellor to solve your problems, but to support you in discovering your own strengths, resilience and capacity for growth.

Whatever you bring to counselling, whether it be bereavement, work-related stress or anxiety, your person-centred counsellor will give you a confidential space and work at your pace. There is no expectation that you have all the answers or even know where to begin. You are free to talk about whatever feels important to you, in your own time and in your own way.

The relationship is at the heart of therapy

An integral part of person-centred counselling is the creation of a safe space built on genuineness and acceptance. Rogers believed that it is the quality of this relationship that creates the conditions for growth and change.

When people experience empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence from another person, they often begin to feel safer exploring aspects of themselves they may have previously hidden or rejected. Over time, this can help reduce feelings of shame, increase self-awareness and enable people to reconnect with their own values, strengths and sense of self.

Your first session

Although person-centred counselling is non-directive, your first session will typically discuss how you are going to work together with your counsellor and the counsellor’s commitment to confidentiality (and any caveats to this), as well as a discussion on session time and days, frequency of sessions, and how your data is stored in line with the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).

This is not an exhaustive list, but contracting outlines the counsellor’s responsibilities to you and your responsibilities to the process. This is your opportunity to ask any questions about the process too.

Your counsellor may also include an assessment to gain a better understanding of your personal circumstances and any information on previous therapy, if applicable. They may also ask you what you hope to gain from counselling, existing support networks, and explore any factors that could impact your well-being.

You will not be told what to do

One of the most common misconceptions about counselling is that the counsellor's role is to give advice or tell you how to solve your problems. In person-centred counselling, this is not the case.

Rather than assuming they know what is best for you, the counsellor recognises that you are the expert on your own life, experiences and values. Their role is not to provide answers, but to support you in exploring your thoughts and feelings so that you can develop your own understanding, make decisions that feel right for you, and find a way forward that is authentic to who you are.

"The client knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried." – Rogers (1961)

This quote from On Becoming A Person perfectly sums up the fundamental idea that the counsellor works alongside the client, showing empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard to help build a relationship of safety and trust. Through this relationship, clients are supported to gain greater self-awareness, discover their strengths and to make decisions that feel right for them.

Is person-centred counselling right for you?

Every therapeutic approach has its strengths, and what feels helpful for one person may not suit another. With so many different counselling approaches available, the terminology and theories can sometimes feel confusing when you are trying to decide what type of support is right for you.

Some people come to counselling hoping that their counsellor will provide answers, offer solutions or tell them what decisions to make. Often, this comes from a place of feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from themselves, or having lost confidence in their own ability to make choices. In person-centred counselling, the focus is not on the counsellor having the answers, but on creating the conditions for you to reconnect with your own thoughts, feelings and inner resources.

As a counsellor, I have witnessed how powerful this process can be. By trusting in the therapeutic relationship and offering clients space to explore what feels important to them, at their own pace and in their own way, many people begin to develop greater self-awareness, confidence and trust in themselves.

Beginning therapy takes courage. Taking the time to understand what to expect can help make that first step feel a little less uncertain. If you are considering counselling, take the opportunity to discuss your needs, hopes and any questions you may have with a qualified counsellor. Finding an approach and therapeutic relationship that feels right for you is an important part of the journey.