Understanding our thoughts - a CBT perspective

How much time have you spent thinking today? What have you thought about? Most of the time, we find ourselves reflecting on the past and wishing things were different. Then worrying about the future and attempting to control every situation. It seems we are very good at it. It seems so natural, habitual and for the most part, uncontrollable.

In 2005, the US National Science Foundation published an article on human thoughts; they found the average person has between 12,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day, with 80% being negative and 95% being repetitive thoughts. The following year, Cornell University showed that 85% of what we think never happens. 

As a cognitive behavioural therapist, I often ask about the thoughts my clients have, listening for distinct signs of ‘faulty thinking’ patterns, or cognitive distortions as they are known within CBT. 

These thinking patterns rule every aspect of our lives and have a direct impact on our mood, and behaviour. These thoughts are usually irrational, biased and inaccurate. The distortions act as mental filters for information, fueling our anxieties and making us feel bad about ourselves. Yes, even cognitive behavioural therapists have these thought patterns! And as they happen so often, they can present themselves as ‘facts’ when they’re not always true. Our actions are then based on false assumptions. Our minds create automatic thoughts so we can respond quickly to situations, without any real consideration and then our brains get used to a certain way of thinking.

For example, if you imagine you’ve just met your new potential employers and felt awkward at the start of the interview, this leads to an automatic thought of ‘I am always so awkward’. This thought is based on a feeling you have, with no factual evidence. The other people in the room probably aren’t aware that you felt awkward and probably understand how interviews are nerve-wracking. This thought leads to harsh self-judgment and criticism and overemphasised one specific detail of the interview. This falls under the cognitive distortion of emotional reasoning, the assumption that our feelings reflect the way things really are. From one feeling, the whole view of the interview has changed. Maybe you did feel awkward… and that’s OK! But does that mean you are always awkward?

Emotions allow us to connect with others and they are an essential part of being human. They are important signals that alert us to danger and threats. However, sometimes they can be inaccurate and understood to be ‘fact’. If you imagine our thoughts to be like a faulty smoke alarm, our anxiety can ‘go off’ when we don’t necessarily need it to. 

What can we do to change?

We may believe that our brains are stuck thinking in this way, and at times, it seems impossible to think in any other way. However, thanks to neuroplasticity, we can change our thinking patterns. In order to see this change, it requires awareness, effort and consistent practice. It’s not easy and it’s probably going to be a lifelong task! First of all, in CBT, we look at the cognitive model, the interconnected relationship between our thoughts, feelings and behaviour. We then look to identify unhelpful thoughts, before looking to modify them. This can be done through various techniques and exercises. The aim of CBT is to see if we can adapt our way of thinking. 

There is a misconception that CBT is about thinking ‘positively’ and thinking less ‘negatively’. However, a key aspect of CBT is to see if we are thinking in the most realistic way, that our thoughts are accurate, and that we are looking at all the evidence that our thoughts are ‘true’. 

In CBT, the therapist will help you to evaluate your thinking and look to reframe your thoughts. This can be done in the form of questioning, guided discovery, recording thoughts inside and outside of the session, graded exposure and behavioural change; to name a few. 

CBT, mindfulness and urge surfing 

While CBT helps us to recognise and change our way of thinking, mindfulness can help us become aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. Mindfulness is about being present with our thoughts in the here and now, without judgment. Which can be easier said than done, given the amount of time we spend thinking each day. However, with practice, we can learn to notice our thoughts and acknowledge them. This can help with unhealthy behaviours, allowing us time to sit with the ‘urge’ before attending to it. This technique is known as ‘urge surfing’. If you think of the urge like a wave, after a short period of time the urge will pass. So too do our thoughts, they come and go. If you can recall the last time you felt angry, there would have been a peak and then a fall, where the anger loses its intensity. 

As a Therapist, one of the most rewarding things to see is the emotional freedom that clients can experience during therapy. Many people arrive at therapy feeling stuck and helpless. Feeling overwhelmed and out of control. When thoughts and emotions are broken down, it offers a different perspective from self-judgment and self-criticism that a number of us seem to have.

Therapy can help us learn that our range of feelings can be tolerated and that we don’t need to be afraid of bad feelings. Then from there, we can develop helpful coping strategies for when we feel overwhelmed. You don’t need to face your thoughts alone; meaningful change is possible with the right help and support, one thought at a time.