The experience of isolation and loneliness

Why loneliness feels more common today

In the age of advanced technology, AI and the opportunities for multiple connections via the Internet, we would suppose that the experience of loneliness, and indeed isolation, would have diminished.

In the past, loneliness was generally more likely to be experienced, or seen to be experienced, by older people whose partners had died, for example. However, as counsellors and psychotherapists, we receive more enquiries from people who need help and support with their loneliness. Now, there are many more reports of anxiety and depression as a result of loneliness than ever before.

How loneliness affects our well-being

Before the Internet existed, the human need to connect with others meant we were more likely to pick up our landline phones and have a chat or walk to a local cafe or pub to meet a friend or colleague. We left the confines of our homes far more frequently.

There’s increasing recognition of the value of fresh air and a walk to clear our minds. And those with depression often praise the value of having an allotment or gardening space, not only for the satisfaction of observing the growth of a seed developing into a plant or vegetable, but also the socialising with others. The common shared comments appear to be that they mentally feel so much more content and at peace with themselves.

Human existence flourishes when it moves at a grounded, relational pace: Instead of speaking online, you meet up in person. Our well-being is more fragile than we are aware, and it suffers when connection is confined to the remote form of internet devices.

When loneliness feels overwhelming

So how do we lift ourselves out of anxiety and depression when we feel trapped in the geographical areas where we live and unable to feel mentally able to leave our homes, even for a walk in the fresh air?

People can be reluctant to ask for help as they may feel it is a weakness, and so it may take someone reaching a point where things feel unmanageable before they feel able to seek professional support. At that point, they may feel particularly vulnerable, and GPs will be sensitive to picking up symptomatic responses and getting them urgent help and support, where required.

Some people may find it difficult to access support quickly or affordably, which can add to their distress. Some local councils have begun to make provisions for the lonely and isolated members of their communities and have created meeting-up clubs where people can come for a free hot drink and a snack, and may well meet others who share their experience. It can be a very comforting step to find you are not alone after all, and there is a non-intimidating, accessible place to provide you with some cheer.

How counselling can provide support

Talking about your feelings with a counsellor can provide the support and comfort that has been missing in your life. Even after the initial session, you may well experience a sense of relief emotionally. As counsellors, we understand how essential it is for people who are suffering from loneliness or isolation to find a listening, non-judgmental presence in their counsellor.

The sessions provide a safe space for you in which to voice your anxieties and fears with a trained counsellor who will not judge you in any way. They will support you wholeheartedly and offer ways for you to learn that can help you recover your equilibrium and enthusiasm for life once again.