Quick ways to manage your nervous system

Is there such a thing as a quick way? Not entirely is the answer, but we tend to come looking for that instant 'quick fix'. The truth is, we need a combination of factors which build towards managing our sympathetic nervous system (the one we tend to name the 'fight or flight system').

With knowledge of the two nervous systems (sympathetic and parasympathetic), a tool bank ready to use that works for you, and using the counselling room to unpick or heal the thoughts/memories that may trigger the 'fight or flight response', we can start to feel an ability to manage the situations where triggers occur. Notice we are not accepting that we can eradicate the system being triggered, here.

Fight, flight, freeze (and newly added term 'fawn')

These are the responses commonly discussed in therapy that appear when our sympathetic system is triggered and in full swing.

Many clients are aware that this is starting to happen in a number of ways. The most commonly heard in the therapy room are: breathing changes, sweaty hands, heart rate increases, and a tense jaw/shoulders/muscles, etc. Usually, a client will be aware of at least one change they notice first before 'it's too late', and they are in the fight or flight state.

It could be likened to climbing the steep part of a rollercoaster; we want to notice on the way up so that we can get off, but for many, we are free-falling down the rollercoaster before we know it, and at that point, our logical brain can't function to help us.

The sympathetic nervous system response (mostly known as 'fight or flight') was designed to make us escape that sabre-toothed tiger back in caveman days. At this point, we don't want to pause to think logically – plenty of studies have shown it is physically impossible to think logically when this side of the nervous system is in full swing. 

What can we do?

So, in theory, if we can train our body and mind to notice the 'tell signs' when we are entering this 'fight or flight' system, we then have a chance to apply our tool bank to help manage the symptoms before we reach the top of the rollercoaster.

For many, it starts with breathing. We tend to breathe/suck in more breath than we breathe out when we are triggered, thus sending signals to our brain to invoke the sympathetic nervous system response. So, by noticing our breathing and switching to a simple exercise of counting the beats of our breath and making sure we breathe out longer than in, our brain can receive signals that we are safe.

Some clients may struggle to notice their breathing or any symptoms of the trigger warning. Using a basic smartwatch and learning to check their heart rate could be a good starting point here. This is usually a good indicator for most of us that we are starting to climb up that rollercoaster and need to open that toolbox and self-soothe.

It should be said that with breathing exercises, there is no simple miracle fix. You will need to train the brain to recognise quickly what you are trying to do, which means practising this daily. This can be a simple check-in, literally with your breath. Just notice whilst you're driving or walking to the post-box and see if you are breathing out or in more. Then, when we really do need it, our brain has more of a chance to notice what is happening.

Alternatives to breathing exercises

Of course, many clients don't want to concentrate on their breath when they are anxious. Some may have asthma or simply find it more anxiety-inducing. Therefore, for those clients trying out other grounding tools, our brains can receive enough distraction to allow the breath to regulate.

One of those tools includes the age-old '5 things'. This is an alternative you can use on your grounding walks or simply from your bedroom window. Using all senses, you can describe all shapes and colours you see, listen for sounds and smells, and touch walls and leaves if you can.

Physical movement is also encouraged. The nervous system increases energy levels, so let's release that adrenaline. This can be as simple as shaking your body out in the office toilets or perhaps going for a fresh air walk. With more time and interest, it may be a long run. The aim again is to find the tool that works best for you.

At the same time, looking at your thoughts in the moment can also help regulate our system even further and pull us back down the 'climb up', once the breathing has regulated.

Technically, we are applying CBT to the situation, as our thoughts can drive our emotions and, in turn, our reactions. Looking at the whole package means making sure the body is soothed as much as the mind. The body may be triggered by something that relates to something that happened years ago. By checking in with our thoughts, we may be able to identify that we are indeed 'safe' now, and this situation is not the same as a historic one. That way, we 'feel' calmer emotions and thus our reactions are calmer in themselves.

Counselling can really help us understand our nervous system, anxiety and triggers. It's important to deal with the triggers in talking therapy as well as practical education around understanding your own body and finding those soothing techniques that work for you.

There isn't an instant, quick regulation method in one week of counselling, but the fix can get quicker by applying all of your new knowledge. Rollercoasters are for theme parks – let’s enjoy the rides there and work on getting off in the counselling room when it comes to our nervous system.