Parenting - how to strike the right balance

Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles we can undertake. For parents of teens and young adults, the stakes often feel particularly high. We want to help them navigate life’s journey with confidence and resilience. We wish for them to grow into strong, independent individuals capable of facing challenges, while also wanting to shield them from pain and hardship

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The question is: How do we strike the right balance?

In our desire to protect, some of us may veer into what is often called “helicopter parenting” - hovering closely, intervening at the first sign of trouble and working to smooth every bump in the road. Others may take a more hands-off approach, hoping that allowing their child to make mistakes will teach valuable lessons. Both approaches have merits and drawbacks and the key lies in finding a middle ground. 

How do we provide the support and tools our young people need without inadvertently undermining their independence or resilience?

Future-proofing mental health

One of the most important gifts we can give our children is the foundation for good mental health. Future-proofing their mental health means equipping them with the skills, habits and resilience to navigate life’s ups and downs. But how do we achieve this?

  • Encourage open communication: Create an environment where your child feels safe expressing their thoughts and emotions. Active listening, without judgment or interruption, shows them that their feelings are valid and important.
  • Model healthy behaviours: Children learn by example. Demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms for stress, prioritise self-care, and be open about seeking help when needed.
  • Teach problem-solving skills: Instead of solving problems for them, guide them through the process. Ask questions that help them think critically and explore potential solutions.
  • Foster independence: Gradually give them the responsibility to make their own decisions. Start small and increase their autonomy as they grow older and demonstrate readiness.
  • Promote resilience: Life is full of setbacks. Helping your child view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow can build resilience. Acknowledge their feelings but encourage them to keep trying and to see failure as a stepping stone, not an endpoint.
  • Prioritise mental health: Normalise conversations about mental health and well-being. Encourage them to seek help when needed and remind them that asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

The role of counselling

Counselling can be a powerful tool for both young people and their parents. For teens and young adults, counselling provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore their thoughts, feelings and experiences. It helps them develop self-awareness, build coping skills and gain the confidence to navigate life’s challenges.

For parents, counselling offers guidance and support in navigating the complexities of raising teens and young adults:

  • Reflect on our parenting style and identify areas where we may need to adjust.
  • Manage our own stress and anxieties about our child’s future.
  • Learn effective communication strategies to strengthen our relationship with our child.
  • Address feelings of guilt, frustration or confusion that often accompany parenting challenges.

Counselling also reminds us that we don’t have to have all the answers. It’s OK to seek help, and doing so can have a profound impact on our family dynamics and our child’s well-being.


How do we parent?

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. However, there are principles that can guide us:

  • Balance protection and independence: Be there to support your child but allow them the space to grow and learn from their experiences.
  • Stay informed: Understand the challenges young people face today, from social media pressures to academic stress, and be proactive in addressing these issues.
  • Practice empathy: Try to see the world through your child’s eyes. Acknowledge their struggles, even if they seem minor from an adult perspective.
  • Seek support: Parenting is not meant to be done in isolation. Connect with other parents, seek professional guidance, and build a network of support for both yourself and your child.

Moving forward

Parenting teens and young adults is a journey filled with challenges, but also immense opportunities for growth – both for them and for us as parents. By focusing on future-proofing their mental health, seeking support when needed, and maintaining open, empathetic communication, we can help our young people navigate life’s journey with confidence and resilience.

Remember, it’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about being a present, supportive and loving one. Together, we can guide our young people toward a future where they feel equipped to handle life’s challenges and embrace its possibilities.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Guildford, Surrey, GU5
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Written by Donna Morgan
SNR MNCS Accred ANXIETY, WOMENS HEALTH, CYPT TEENS, CBT EMDR
location_on Guildford, Surrey, GU5
Donna Morgan is a highly experienced Humanistic Mental Health Therapist with 26 years of practice. Her passion for helping individuals with their mental health has driven her to develop a compassionate and holistic approach to therapy. Donna firmly b...
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