Narrative therapy and how it may work for you

Narrative therapy is a unique approach to counselling which focuses on the stories we tell about our lives and how these narratives shape our identities and experiences. It has long been criticised by the fact that it may be too abstract or that it lacks empirical evidence and that may well be fair but hear me out. At a personal level and for a certain type of client this makes perfect sense.

Image

As infants and youngsters, we make sense of the world by internalising our experiences and summarising them into various narratives. If for example, your parents constantly told you that the world outside the family home was dangerous, you are more likely to grow up with the idea that the world beyond known borders is scary and treacherous. In this way, your willingness as a child to explore and discover may be impaired and you may well develop into a fearful and risk-adverse adult.

While I am generally an evidence-based therapist who prefers to base his practice on clinical research, I am also aware of the power of stories and how they shape our realities. I have long learned that ‘truth’ is circumstantial. The way we explain the world through stories also affects how we see ourselves and our problems. For example, see the issue of the fundamental attribution error. That there is a bias in the way we observe, reflect and process information is well documented. We often assume that someone’s mistakes are due to their own flaws or characteristics, while should it happen that we err in the same way, our wrongdoings are not due to our flaws but due to unfortunate circumstances. For example, if someone else is late to a meeting, we might think they're irresponsible. But if we're late, we might blame traffic or other external factors.

Stories are powerful – but it is also important in therapy to isolate the person from the narrative. We need to externalise the problem. Again – hear me out. How often do we make a mistake and then, instead of seeing the problem for what it is, we blow it out of all proportions? I have seen clients who were unable to see a mistake for what it is, instead, they blew it out of all proportions and integrated this error into their whole life story. For example, say you went to an ATM for a £10 withdrawal. In your rush, you take the card but leave the money behind. There are some who would not be able to accept the loss without saying things like – of course this happens to me, I am so forgetful, clumsy, stupid etc.  – the mistake becomes a character trait, not a simple mistake.

It is often thought that the human experience is limited. We also deal with more or less the same issues – our mortality, love, hate, search for meaning and happiness, anger, resilience to sadness and so on. The crucial thing about narrative therapy is that it explores the uniqueness of the human experience. Your story may be based on the same theme as everyone else, but it is unique to you – your lived experience holds the key to discovering how to overcome your challenges. It may mean learning a new skill or simply changing the narrative, obtaining a new perspective.

Whether it looks at narratives created in childhood, which may no longer be relevant in adulthood, or the way we internalise our unique experience; by focusing on the stories we tell about our lives, this therapy encourages people to view themselves as the authors of their own narratives. If we work together in this way, we will not re-write your past nor indeed your future. The real power of narrative therapy is the understanding of why your story was written the way it was and, armed with this understanding, encourages you to change your ‘writing style’.

info

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

Share this article with a friend
Image
Canterbury, Kent, CT2
Image
Image
Written by Mike Nistor
location_on Canterbury, Kent, CT2
I am a NCPS accredited counsellor with a special interest in supporting LGBTQIA+ and sex worker clients as well as the topics of trauma and abuse.
Image

Find the right counsellor or therapist for you

location_on

task_alt All therapists are verified professionals

task_alt All therapists are verified professionals