Men's therapy demystified: What actually happens & how it helps

Therapy can be a transformative tool for men navigating stress, anxiety, or life's challenges, but taking the first step can feel daunting. The statistics for men's mental health are concerning, but the problem is solvable. Let's walk through what to expect, how therapy can help, and resources to support your journey.

If you're a man considering therapy, you probably have questions. Will be it awkward? Are you going to end up on a coach talking about your childhood? Will it actually do anything useful?

These are all fair questions, and here's the good news: therapy is way more down-to-earth than most people think. It's not about fixing you because you're not broken. It's practical, straightforward support to help you navigate life's challenges more effectively.

Breaking the silence: Why many men avoid getting help

When it comes to men's mental health, there's often societal pressure to 'keep it together.' Growing up, many of us internalise messages like 'just power through' or 'tough it out.' While society is evolving beyond outdated phrases like 'boys don't cry,' their persistent influence can still make reaching out for help feel like you're violating some unspoken code.

The truth is in the numbers, and they tell a clear story:

The reality check (US stats)

• Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, representing about 80% of all suicides
• In 2022, only 16% of men got mental health treatment compared to 27% of women
• 15% of young men report having no close friends - a five-fold increase since 1990
• Suicide rates have jumped 30% for men aged 25-34 since 2010

The obstacles men face when seeking help are profound. There's the stigma that acknowledging struggles somehow contradicts the "strong, silent" archetype. Then there's the vulnerability challenge — most men weren't taught emotional literacy, so discussing feelings can feel like speaking an unfamiliar language.

Therapy isn't about having all the solutions. It's about creating a secure environment to understand what's happening in your mind without judgment or being told to "just get on with it." Recognising that you're experiencing mental health challenges isn't weakness — it's acknowledging your humanity.

What actually happens when you see a therapist

If you've never sat down with a therapist before, you're probably wondering what you're actually signing up for. Here's the real deal:

It's not one-size-fits-all

Every person's journey is unique, and therapy reflects that. Whether you're managing stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties, or other challenges like substance use, therapy provides a secure, non-judgmental environment to explore what's happening.

You control the process

One of the greatest benefits? It's free from judgment. Your therapist isn't there to dictate what you should do — they're there to listen, support, and guide. Many men worry therapy will feel uncomfortable or they'll be pressured to discuss topics they're not prepared to address. But you control the pace, and your therapist will meet you where you are.

It's not just for crisis

Therapy isn't exclusively for those in crisis. It's for anyone wanting to improve their wellbeing, understand themselves better, or navigate life more effectively. For men, therapy can assist with everything from managing stress to enhancing relationships and discovering purpose. It's also an opportunity to develop greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.

Therapy specifically for men

The therapy profession has a noticeable gender imbalance — approximately 70% of therapists are women. On top of that, only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men, creating a trend where therapy practice often involves women working with women. While this doesn't diminish the quality of care, many men find that male therapists can bring a relatable perspective to sessions. Whether it's navigating societal expectations, life transitions, or exploring concepts of purpose, they may have encountered similar challenges.

Traditional training often discourages therapists from problem-solving too quickly. But in practice? Many men actively use therapy for strategic thinking — to analyse situations and find solutions. And that's perfectly acceptable. Therapy should adapt to your processing style, not vice versa.

The aim is to make therapy feel less clinical and more like a meaningful conversation that enables you to move forward with clarity, confidence, and renewed purpose.

Beyond the couch: Practical support options that work

Finding the right support is a deeply personal process, and traditional talk therapy might not be the perfect fit for everyone. If you're looking for a different approach, here are some valuable alternatives:

Men's Sheds

These aren't conventional support groups — they're workshops where men connect through practical projects like woodworking, bike repairs, or brewing. There's no pressure to "open up," just a space to work with your hands while naturally developing friendships and sharing skills with other men in a judgment-free environment.

Men's Sheds focuses on building connections to improve wellbeing and reduce loneliness through shared activities rather than direct conversation.

Find your nearest Men's Shed.

Mentell

Founded after a family suicide, Mentell has helped over 5,000 men find relief through raw, real conversations in a group setting.

How it works:

• Weekly circles: Two-hour sessions (in-person/online) where men talk freely — no advice, no judgment, no pressure.
• Run by men, for men: Facilitators are volunteers with lived experience, not clinicians.
• Based on principles of safety, confidentiality, respect, and freedom from judgment.

As one Glossop based member shared: "The relief was so powerful I remember my whole posture changed as I walked out the room that night, almost like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in years, my whole body and mind got the sensation of hope."

Join your first Mentell circle.

Straight answers: Your top questions about men's therapy

What is the best therapy for men?

The "best" therapy depends on you as an individual, not your gender. Many men find approaches like person-centered therapy helpful because it creates an accepting space to explore thoughts and feelings while supporting new perspectives and action steps. Ultimately, the best therapy is one that feels right for you and helps you progress toward your goals.

How common are male therapists?

While therapy practitioners remains predominantly female, the number of male therapists is increasing. Many men find working with a male therapist beneficial, especially when discussing masculinity, relationships, or career pressures. However, the most important factor is finding a therapist you feel comfortable with, regardless of gender.

How can I tell if therapy isn't working?

Therapy rarely follows a linear path — fluctuations are normal. But if you consistently feel stuck, unheard, or like you're not progressing, it's worth discussing with your therapist. Sometimes adjusting the approach helps, while other times exploring different therapists or methods might be beneficial. Trust your instincts — you deserve to feel supported and see growth in your journey.

Taking the first step

Therapy is a powerful resource for navigating life's challenges, whether you're dealing with stress, anxiety, relationship issues, or other emotional difficulties. It's not about having all the answers — it's about giving yourself permission to explore your thoughts in an environment where you can be curious, open, and authentic.

Your journey toward better mental health doesn't have to be traveled alone. Here are some practical first steps you can take today:

• Explore your options: Use the Counselling Directory to find therapists in your area who specialise in men's issues.
• Book a consultation: Most therapists offer an initial session to see if you're a good fit for each other.
• Try alternative approaches: If traditional therapy doesn't appeal to you, look into Men's Sheds or Mentell circles.

Taking that first step — whether it's making a phone call, sending an email, or finding a Men's Shed near you — is an act of courage that your future self will thank you for.

Remember: seeking support isn't weakness, it's strength.