Learning this one thing could super-charge your sex life

Ever had a moment where the same sexual touch feels electrifying one day and ‘meh’ the next? Same partner, same moves, but a wildly different response. If you’ve ever wondered why that happens, let me introduce you to the concept of 'Erotic Blueprints', developed by the brilliant Jaiya. It's a framework I have embraced in my own life and my clients often tell me what a difference it's made in theirs.

What are 'Erotic Blueprints'?

These blueprints uncover the mystery of why arousal sometimes lights us up like a firework and other times fizzles out entirely. Think of them like the ‘love languages’ for your sex life—each of us has a unique pathway to turn-on. By understanding yours and your partner’s, you can transform how you experience and communicate about pleasure.

Jaiya identifies five erotic blueprints: Energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter. I like to split each type into ‘psychological’ and ‘physical’ which helps you get even more granular about how to use this framework. Let’s explore.

1. Energetic: The subtle spark

If this is your primary blueprint, you’re turned on by anticipation, space, and subtlety. It’s all about what’s almost happening—like the moment before a kiss or the barely-there graze of fingertips. Energetics are like highly tuned instruments—they can sense shifts in energy and intention. The downside? If someone moves too quickly or goes straight for physical touch, it can feel overwhelming or even shut them down.

Psychologically, arousal often starts in the mind. It could be your partner holding intense eye contact from across the room or slowly undressing while you watch, building a delicious sense of anticipation. Even a flirty, suggestive text message hours before you meet can set the stage for desire.

Physically, it’s all about light, teasing touches that barely skim the skin—like running fingertips down your arm or the gentle brush of lips without actually kissing. Think of the sensation as a spark, not a flame—it’s the subtlety that creates the thrill.

Quick tips for the Energetic type:

• Slow everything down. Think featherlight touches and teasing pauses.
• Experiment with non-physical arousal, like eye gazing or breathing in sync.
• Create a space free of distractions—energetics need calm to tune in fully.

2. Sensual: The lover of all things luxurious

The Sensual blueprint is all about the senses. If this is your type, touch, smell, taste, and sound are your gateways to arousal. Think candlelit rooms, soft sheets, and the smell of your partner’s skin after a shower. The catch? Sensuals can struggle with turn-on if their environment feels chaotic—like piles of laundry or the wrong playlist in the background.

Psychologically, arousal thrives on emotional connection and atmosphere. Psychologically, it’s the tender, loving words your partner whispers in your ear, the romantic playlist they curated for you, or the way they express how much they adore you in every gesture.

Physically, it’s all about indulging the senses—candles casting a warm glow, the scent of essential oils filling the room, soft sheets against your skin, and the slow, lingering kisses that make you feel completely enveloped in love and safety.

Quick tips for the Sensual type:

• Set the scene: candles, music, and an uncluttered room work wonders.
• Explore touch with textures like silk, feathers, or warm oil.
• Communicate about what helps you relax—it’s key to sensual arousal.

3. Sexual: The straight-to-the-point type

This blueprint thrives on the classic hallmarks of arousal: nudity, explicitness, and straight-to-the-point physical connection. They love orgasms, and for them, sex is simple and direct—a pure joy. The challenge for Sexuals? If their partner isn’t in the same place, they might feel rejected or frustrated.

Psychologically, Sexuals are turned on by explicitness and directness. A passionate compliment about how hot you look, a playful dirty joke, or a clear, enthusiastic invitation like ‘Let’s go to bed right now’ works wonders for this blueprint.

Physically, it’s all about straightforward sexual connection—seeing your partner naked, feeling skin against skin, or diving right into passionate kissing or touching. There’s no need for elaborate set-ups—just raw, immediate connection.

Quick tips for the sexual type:

• Be open about your needs, but also practice patience with a partner who might need more time.
• Use visual or verbal cues that get you going.
• Keep communication playful—Sexuals love lighthearted fun in the bedroom

4. Kinky: The rule-breaker

Kinky isn’t just about whips and chains (although it can be). This blueprint thrives on exploring the taboo, which might be about power dynamics, sensation play, or just stepping outside the usual norms. Kinkies are adventurous and curious, but they need trust and communication to feel safe exploring their boundaries.

Psychologically, arousal often begins in the mind with taboo fantasies or the anticipation of breaking the rules. It could be the thrill of discussing a playful power dynamic, imagining being tied up, or hearing your partner whispering about their secret desires.

Physically, it might be the sensation of silk ties binding your wrists, a blindfold heightening your other senses, or the contrast between gentle caresses and playful, consensual spanks. It’s about pushing boundaries in ways that feel exciting and safe.

Quick tips for the Kinky type:

• Start with open conversations about what you want to explore—safety first!
• Create a ‘yes/no/maybe’ list of things you’d like to try together.
• Don’t assume all kinky play is sexual—some of it can be purely about trust and fun.

5. Shapeshifter: The master of all trades

Last but definitely not least is the Shapeshifter. If this is your blueprint, congratulations—you love it all! You’re turned on by elements of Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, and Kinky, and you thrive on variety. The challenge for Shapeshifters? You might feel unsatisfied if you don’t get enough variety, or if your partner doesn’t meet you in all your complexity.

Psychologically, Shapeshifters are aroused by everything—psychologically, they’re excited by the interplay of all the blueprints. It might be the anticipation of an Energetic tease, the emotional connection of Sensual words, or the thrill of Kinky role-play all wrapped into one seductive evening.

Physically, Shapeshifters enjoy a variety of sensations—feathery Energetic touches, the soft kisses of Sensual, the raw passion of Sexual, or the adventurous play of Kinky. Variety is key, so mixing and matching elements keeps their desire alive and thriving.

Quick tips for the shapeshifter type:

• Embrace variety—switch things up with sensory play, new positions, or role-play.
• Share your wide-ranging desires with your partner, so they can meet you halfway.
• Balance is key—make sure you’re getting your own needs met, not just adapting to theirs.

Understanding your erotic blueprint is like discovering a new language for your desire. It helps you decode what works for you, communicate better with your partner, and reignite that spark in a way that feels authentic and fun.

If this has sparked your curiosity, take Jaiya’s Erotic Blueprint quiz to find out which type you are, or try reflecting on which descriptions felt most familiar. There is no right or wrong blueprint, it’s all about discovering what lights you up.