How to deal with work stress

Many of us work in jobs we find stressful. Whether it be because of an upcoming deadline, miscommunication between colleagues or simply the pressures of ‘getting it right’, being stressed at work can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health. 

We might also take this stress home with us. At the end of the day when all we need to do is unwind and relax with family or friends, we find we can’t as we are still ‘at work’ in our heads. 

This can have a negative impact on our relationships and further contribute to poor mental and physical health as we do not prioritise our needs, preoccupying ourselves instead with endless ‘to-do’ lists or else obsessing over small details. 

How therapy can help with workplace stress

There are several things that we may be doing that could be contributing to our challenges in the workplace. These include: 

1. Taking too much responsibility

Some people, particularly those who grew up in households where they felt they were responsible for meeting their parents’/siblings’ needs, might be overly responsible in the workplace.

They take on tasks that ought to be managed by others and are always the person their colleagues or managers to go when they need support. They happily agree to this because they like to feel needed. This may be due to them repeating a childhood pattern which though outdated now, feels familiar or ‘safe’ to them. 

2. Not setting clear boundaries 

We may find it hard to say ‘no’ when we are asked to do things by others, leading to over-commitment and burnout. The roots of this behaviour may also stem from childhood. Perhaps we grew up with controlling or authoritative parents and felt a strong need to be the 'good boy/girl' with them. Saying ‘no’ may not have been something we were encouraged to do, or this may not have been modelled to us by caregivers with healthy boundaries themselves. 

3. Low self-esteem

If we suffer from low self-esteem we might be (without realising it) constantly seeking validation externally. We rely on others seeing us ‘doing a good job’ to feel we are doing a good job. We might not feel our best efforts are enough and that we constantly need to do more to impress.

If we struggle with low self-esteem we might also find it hard to prioritise our own well-being. We may feel it is our duty to ‘give’, as to give to ourselves is ‘selfish’ or that we feel undeserving of rest. 

These are common issues that arise in therapy but are things it is quite possible to work through and overcome.

It may be that when these issues are addressed, work will become more manageable and enjoyable. It may also be that with therapy you come to the conclusion that there are other jobs better suited for you out there. In this case, therapy can give you the courage and self-awareness to make the jump and live a life more in alignment with your true nature. 

Work stress can wreak havoc on a person’s life and also has the ability to impact the lives of those around them. Good therapy can play a vital role in helping identify the causes of work stress and supporting someone to develop the resilience, confidence and assertiveness to feel better.