How to cope with sadness and find growth

I woke up this morning around 6am and was almost instantly reminded of the sadness that has consumed me for the last few days. This feeling sits alongside happiness and an abundance of gratitude that fuels my entire existence. Gratitude for a life surrounded by love and good people. A life rich in experience, autonomy, and freedom.

The last couple of months have been great, which I guess makes the discomfort of sadness so hard to accept. But in a life full of highs, how can we not have lows?

I feel pulled to share this part of my inner world, as I know how relatable these thoughts are to many. I see so many friends and clients dance the same dance.

Did you know that in Russia, they have multiple different words to describe the state of sadness, whereas in America, if there was a choice between happy, sad, and nothing, most people would choose nothing! This Western narrative that sadness is bad had been anchored within me the past few days, but today I chose to accept it as my teacher. My vulnerability, a reminder that I just like everybody else, am a single tiny human in a very big world.

What is sadness?

Sadness is a natural emotional response to situations involving disappointment, loss or hurt. It can show up like a heavy ache in the chest or lump in the throat leaving us feeling empty or disconnected. It is a signal from our emotional system that something that matters to us has been disrupted.

So how can we use sadness as a positive?

When we’re sad, we’re often forced to slow down. In that stillness, introspection arises, offering valuable lessons. Sadness gives us the opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves and, in turn, with others.

It also brings greater emotional awareness. Our own pain can foster empathy, helping us better understand and connect with those around us. In this way, sadness becomes a quiet bridge to deeper human connection.

Sadness can highlight what we value, it shows us what we need to feel fulfilled in life. We can use it as a catalyst for making necessary changes. It can push us to seek help, change our environment or leave that unhealthy relationship. 

This emotion often referred to as 'negative' has been the motivator behind some of the most powerful music, art and literature. It allows us to express something that is real and universal. 

Next time you experience sadness, I encourage you to go inwards. Accept it, do not judge it. Express. Write, move, connect to it. Give it time, allow sadness to move through you and say Thank you. Thank you sadness for reminding me that I love, that I care, that I am alive. 

Tips for dealing with sadness

Accept and acknowledge how you are feeling. The goal is to learn how to sit with it, to process. Not to 'fix' or avoid it. Labelling how you are feeling "I feel sad" helps your brain to process it. 

Journal. Write it out, this not only lightens the emotional load it can help untangle emotions and gives you insight. Journalling accesses the subconcious and can help to highlight any patterns or root causes. 

Feel and move. Emotions are felt and live in the body as much as the mind. Notice how you physically feel. What do you need? To cry, to move ( Walking, stretching, yoga) or to breath ( try slow simple breath work exercises)

Talk. Emotional isolation can make sadness worse. Talking with someone you trust can really help. Family, a friend, therapist or support group.

Express it. Get creative. Art, music, poetry, vision boards. Movement. I love to dance it out and feel the emotion leaving my body. 

Gratitude. What has this period of sadness done for you? Has it brought healing, deeper connection, change or creativity? Gratitude and sadness might seem like opposites but they can work together in powerful ways. 

So thank you for the visit, sadness. As you move along within me, I feel the shift taking over. I’m happy again. I'm lighter. So I guess its goodbye, until we meet again someday.