How counselling can support you through HR issues at work

Going through HR issues at work can be tough and lonely; you may feel isolated and that there is no one on your side who is there to support you. Before I started my training to be a counsellor, I worked in HR for five years, specifically as an employee relations case manager, a job I still consult on now. I handled grievances, disciplinaries and investigations related to misconduct and negligence. This article serves as a way to bridge the gap for people who are going through a tough time at work, and feel lost, to shed some light on the process and to give some handy tips and advice from an HR perspective and also how counselling can help.

Understanding HR processes and where to get help

When clients initially make contact for workplace issues, they are usually already in the midst of their issue, and are seeking a space to talk and process what has happened to them. On a practical level, it's helpful to know that there is an independent government-funded body in the UK called ACAS (Advisory, Conciliation, and Arbitration Service) that deals with workplace relationships. They offer free and impartial advice, guidance, training, and dispute resolution services to help resolve workplace issues and prevent them from escalating, potentially leading to employment tribunals. I have personally used their services several times in the past when I have needed to ask for advice and guidance on some of my cases.

It’s also important to understand the Equality Act 2010, a UK law that protects individuals from discrimination and promotes equality in various aspects of life, including employment, services, and public functions. It prohibits discrimination based on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation. 

These may all seem commonplace and jargonistic, but it can be hard to make sense of what is going on at the time and the things that are happening to you.

Bullying, harassment and emotional impact

One of the most common HR issues is that of workplace bullying. I find that explaining the definitions of bullying and harassment to clients is incredibly useful.

Once clients are aware of the definition of what is happening to them, they often start to feel like a small weight has been lifted off their shoulders. They start to realise that what is happening to them is actually a cause for misconduct (or even gross misconduct), and they start to not blame themselves for what has happened.

Although I am referring to laws in the UK, this also applies to clients who have been victims of bullying and harassment which they have received from abroad - although the rights of the individual in other countries may be different, the issue still remains the same. Being taunted and picked on in a different country doesn’t mean that it should be allowed; the feelings and experiences are still the same, no matter where you are. The process of healing from their experience begins by validating what they say and extending congruence and empathy.

The role of counselling in workplace issues

How can counselling be beneficial when you are going through such issues in the workplace? First of all, when you are experiencing something negative at work, whether that be bullying, harassment or discrimination, it may feel like there is no one to help you and that you are alone.

In most cases, people are left by themselves in these situations, and it may feel difficult to decipher what is happening to them. You may start to believe that what is happening is ‘normal’ in the sense that everyone around you believes it to be, and you are the anomaly in this situation. Clients often recount their stories and ask whether they were imagining it all, and whether it could possibly be a figment of their minds. 

In their first few sessions, clients take the time to process and let it all out, and counselling can provide them that non-judgmental safe space for them to release their suppressed feelings and emotions and with some validation and genuine empathy. It's possible to notice a marked difference in their body language; they begin to loosen up their shoulders and relax a bit more in sessions. I am always reminded that, fundamentally, talking therapy provides healing through the ability to talk to someone with whom you can trust and open up to. 

Once we start going into the details of what happened, clients always say that the experience they endured was tantamount to trauma. Looking at the definition of trauma, it is caused not only through repeated bad experiences but also from not being able to process them at the time. My question is always, "Were you able to speak to anyone about it when it happened?" and the reply is always "No". It is the build-up of unresolved and unprocessed thoughts, feelings and emotions that are forced to stay buried and fester into stress and anxiety.

I truly believe that, as individuals, we have the answers to all the unanswered questions we may have about ourselves and our behaviours. But, as a way to protect ourselves, we build up defences as a way for us not to get hurt - and perhaps by going with the flow and not making a fuss about what’s happening, we are protecting ourselves the only way we know how.

Through counselling, we are able to take stock and let a trained professional guide us through this healing path by seeing things from a different vantage point and, at times, challenging our thoughts and emotions about a particular subject area. The beginnings of any great relationship start with trust, honesty and safety, and this is what is known as the working alliance between a counsellor and a client. These elements of a relationship are built upon empathy, honesty and the ability to see the client without any judgments or prejudices. Clients sometimes ask me, "How long will this take for me to feel better?" and the answer to this question depends on a number of factors, but I am always amazed how clients begin to feel better after just one session.