Gone too soon

Losing anyone in life is tough. A hole left to fill. Empty from the vacuum in the aftermath. Life just isn’t the same without them. When experiencing loss, it matters a great deal who is here. Warm words and kind moments to reflect with. People count in our darkest moments. They pick us up and tell us “It’ll be OK.” Some turn to things to change the pain. Like alcohol or drugs. Some work through their grief a different way possibly safer. Whatever the path, it evokes a lot of emotion, thoughts and reflection. 

The rising concern of youth violence

Recently, I’ve been saddened by young men and women taking lives. When I set out to be a therapist, I had a momentum influenced by my own past. I thought I could maybe prevent someone out on their journey from crossing over to another way of living life - not destroying it. It was my motive in my studies. So seeing the news of these knife deaths is a kind of knife in my own heart.

Having a mischievous nature I believe can lead to danger. Things are pretty unpredictable for those who stray away from the right side of youth. Youth can be sports, computer games, competitions, romance, places to visit, family times, holidays and the list continues…

When experiencing the wrong way, a downward spiral can emerge. One level of danger progresses to the next and so on… It’s like a fight turning into a stabbing. It’s kind of being the norm these days. To reverse the danger is to go back to early dangers before it progresses. Move the clock of time to reduce the risks. Make a punch-up the worst progression. Rewind the level of danger. Make the days of machetes the past just like it has been in the musketeer days - centuries ago.

Purpose: A powerful alternative to destruction

When found, purpose can keep developing with drive and ambition. Focus and energy are channelled into the curiosity and flare of making a dream come alive. It’s great to find something that makes the clock of time tick with a feeling of satisfaction. It makes life worth living more to reach towards an amazing goal. A bit like scoring a winning goal at Wembley a moment of a lifetime. If you have a purpose you may bypass the destruction that can loom ahead.

Choosing growth over violence

Ambition can outweigh regression. It’s tougher to move on than stay stuck or move backwards. Having a good-natured mindset helps, too. Being kind to oneself allows it to be expressed to others. Living not killing. Loving not hating - a polar opposite approach. Finding the good in yourself and maximising it. Growing the goodness within. Say no to bad. Keep the good. 

One of the biggest freedoms of youth is your future. A future is ahead to experience. One to plan and execute. One to work towards and believe in. The opposite is to throw your future away. For what? A cheap attack. Then many suffer and are in despair. Your life is incarcerated, broken and lost. No future. No purpose just a small cell.

In therapy, the horror of death can be explored and sat with. Feelings are safe to share. Memories are OK to remember. People are OK to talk through in safety. Confidentiality is there in the space provided. Knowing there is a way to be OK again. Living within this place we have,  to just be. They may be gone but we are here to continue to shine in their memory - we owe it to them.