What is frustration?

Frustration is something everybody experiences at some time or another in their lives. Whether it's the frustration of being locked out of your car, dealing with unexpected setbacks at work or trying to get the family out of the door on time, it's an emotion we all recognise. It is a word we often hear on people's lips, including our own. But what is frustration? What do we really mean by it?

What can frustration tell us?

Frustration often encompasses a whole variety of emotions: anger, guilt, fear and sadness, to name but a few. The degree to which these are experienced will vary from person to person, but whatever the cause of frustration, there is often a sense of helplessness – an inability to rectify the situation.

By exploring a person's frustrations, and seeking to understand what they are feeling and why, insight may be gained into deeper psychological issues. Furthermore, by exploring that sense of helplessness, much can be learned about a person's expectations – of others, of themselves and of life.

The role of acceptance

Frustration generally materialises because we do not want to accept what has happened. Before we can begin to explore whether there is anything we can do to change the situation, we first have to accept that it has happened rather than fight against it.

We can begin to move forward when we acknowledge the reality of the situation and work with it, rather than rail against it. We may then decide that we want to change things, but that can only come from this place of initial acceptance.

Some people describe there as being two kinds of pain in life. Firstly, the pain we cannot avoid when things go wrong, sometimes through no fault of our own. Secondly, the pain we experience when we refuse to accept the first pain – and that second pain can often be avoided.

We may feel deeply hurt by the way someone has rejected us, but if we refuse to accept that the rejection has happened and continue to fight against it, the pain we experience is likely to be much greater, and frustration may become a significant part of our experience.

Moving forward

Acceptance of the situation can reduce the pain to a more manageable level. From there, we can begin to work out, perhaps with the help of trusted friends or family, how we want to respond to the situation. Sometimes the healthiest response is continued acceptance; at other times there may be practical steps we can take to improve things.

This is just a brief and superficial look at frustration. Hopefully, enough has been said to show that frustration itself is worthy of our attention if we are to understand ourselves better and develop greater self-awareness, resilience and emotional wellbeing.

It can affect us, but if we do not accept that we have been rejected and fight against it, the pain we experience will be considerably greater, and frustration may be a very real part of our experience.

Thus, acceptance of the situation will reduce the pain to a more manageable level, and we can then work out, maybe with the help of mature and trustworthy friends or family, how we should respond to the cause of the pain; whether we should simply continue to accept it or whether there is something that can be done to rectify the situation.

This is just a brief and superficial look at frustration. Hopefully, enough has been said to show that frustration in itself is worthy of our attention if we are to understand ourselves better and become stronger, more secure people.