Finding certainty in uncertain times

As the world seems to be facing increasing uncertainty, it is not surprising that we feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, stuck and possibly powerless.

I suspect that many of us are overstimulated with the never-ending stream of information from mainstream and social media. Perhaps we don't know how to pace ourselves and make space for our nervous systems to find peace.

When we feel overwhelmed

When we are also dealing with uncertainty in our personal and professional world, we may try many ways to cope. Perhaps our coping strategies are leading to our mental health, as well as our physical health, deteriorating, or we may find that we are short-tempered and don't have the bandwidth for anything else to go wrong.

Maybe we are drinking more than we usually would, or our eating is disturbed, perhaps eating more or less. Maybe we are becoming isolated and losing interest in things that we previously enjoyed. Underneath some of our coping strategies, deep needs are being met – at least temporarily. We may still feel chronic exhaustion and not understand why.

There are many reasons that can lead to us feeling overwhelmed. It could be our health, the health of a loved one, a job loss or struggle to find a job, financial worries, generational trauma, loss of hope for a better future, despair, disenfranchised grief and more. When we are overwhelmed, we are in our survival brain (fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flop) and our ability to think clearly can be compromised. Sometimes we are in a dissociative state and feel very vulnerable.

Finding human connection

What we need is human connection. I recognise that sometimes this is difficult, particularly if our default way of being is to power through any challenges or minimise or deny them. How might you respond if someone notices that you are not your usual self? Might you be irritated or embarrassed? Might you push them away, insisting that you are fine?

One thing that can help is to find someone who will give us their time without trying to fix us or share their difficulties. This could be someone at work or in our personal life, or it could be a professional. Being seen and heard is an important human need. When we are treated with respect and dignity, our sense of aloneness and shame can begin to heal. I wonder which one of these seems like the most appropriate to you as a starting point? 

Focus on what matters right now

When we feel overwhelmed, it is crucial to find a quiet place so that we can take time to connect to ourselves. This may feel anxiety-provoking, but it is a vital step nonetheless. When we can find a little calm, we can begin to think about what matters most to us and what the facts are as we know them in the present. We may be able to think about what one step we could take right now that would help us.

We cannot deal with all of the problems all of the time – we simply do not have the capacity for that – something needs to be our focus. Sometimes when we start to address one thing, we find that the way forward becomes clearer in other areas.

Taking care of ourselves

Self-care is crucial. It is easy to neglect ourselves physically and emotionally when we are dealing with uncertainty. It is important to check in with yourself regularly to see what you need – it could be something as simple as taking time to be with yourself before rushing off to the next thing. Some things we have control of, some things we do not.  Are you able to discern which is which?

It is inevitable that we face challenges, but finding certainty can help to steady us as we try and work out what to do. Within us are more resources than perhaps we realise.  Dealing with uncertainty is not about being strong and resilient. It is recognising that sometimes we feel vulnerable due to difficult circumstances and that is part of our humanity.

Taking care of our mental and physical health with self-compassion is crucial. One step at a time is best. Who will you reach out to for some support?