Coping with the death of a pet

Anyone pet owner can appreciate what a huge part of our life is shared with them. Animals in all shapes and sizes can enhance our lives and provide love, companionship, purpose and joy. When a much-loved pet sadly dies, it can be difficult to know how to cope. A bereaved pet owner is not only grieving for the loss of their animal but also the lifestyle that accompanies caring for them. 

How to cope with pet bereavement 

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

Losing a pet can be just as painful as losing a person, and the feelings of grief are just as strong. It can be easy to dismiss these emotions with comments such as “he was only an animal” and therefore attempt to suppress how you feel. Allow yourself to experience your emotions and try and express them if you can.  

Find someone to talk to

People with strong emotional bonds to their pets will often use them as their emotional support. If you are feeling sad, you can cuddle with a cat to make things better or go on a dog walk that can calm you down, or interacting with a reptile can settle your mind. When you lose the animal who provided you with so much support, it can be hard to know where to turn when they are gone.

Process how your pet died

Pets can die of natural causes or accidents and this can be completely out of our control. The shock of sudden death can be severe. However, in many cases, pet owners have to decide to have their animals put to sleep, this can be the cause of turmoil for the owners.

There are many factors to consider when making this decision. The pets' welfare is paramount, but there are also practical considerations such as the financial cost of veterinary care, and the ability of the owner to care for the animal which may contribute to the decision. An owner who has had to make the difficult decision to put their pet to sleep can feel a tremendous amount of guilt, and this can make the grieving process more difficult.

Understand the wider context of pet ownership

Our relationships with our pets are unique and it may help to think about how your animal enhanced your life in a wider context. Dog owners often enjoy the social aspects of dog walking and enjoy meeting up with other walkers daily. People who own show animals enjoy the preparation and excitement of taking them to an event. Horse owners relish the lifestyle of looking after a horse daily.

The loss of an animal can also mean the loss of a particular lifestyle, this can hit some people hard. If you find yourself in this position, it might be helpful to consider how you can regain some of the missing aspects of your life.

Move forward at your own pace

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to move forward after losing a pet. Some people will want to find a new animal to love quickly, while others will never want to own an animal again. Listen to your instincts and do what feels right for you. Introducing a new pet into your life does not mean that you didn’t love the one that you lost.

Consider finding a way to remember your pet

There are many ways to remember a special pet. These can include creating jewellery out of animal hair, having paintings commissioned from photos, planting a tree in their memory, creating a memory box, or scattering their ashes in a special place. You will know what feels right for you. Having a special way to remember your pet can help you experience and express your grief.

Losing a much-loved pet and companion can be a truly devastating experience. Experiencing bereavement and feeling grief is a very personal process and is unique to the individual. There is no way of avoiding or rushing this process, but acknowledging how you feel, expressing your emotions and talking about them can help you get through this difficult time.