Broken or functional? Life after sexual trauma

“I am crazy”, “I am not normal”, “what is wrong with me?” - all things that are commonly said by survivors of sexual harm. But what if, as a survivor, you aren't crazy? What if what you are experiencing is actually normal following a traumatic event? 

This article aims to help survivors understand that their responses are normal, in addition to challenging the views they may hold about themselves.

The brain in context

Firstly, it is important to understand the function of the brain. Besides regulating important functions such as breathing, movement and more, the brain's primary function is to keep us safe.

Unfortunately, this means that sometimes, we involuntarily sacrifice our happiness and quality of life, which is one of the unfortunate downsides of how (arguably) the most important part of our body works. Put simply, the brain is built to adapt to our environment thanks to evolution.

As a result of this, the brain responds to threats (or perceived threats) in an adaptive way with the aim to mitigate harm, or sometimes, minimise further harm. Unfortunately, these methods can be experienced as maladaptive, so they are no longer as helpful as they were before.

How does the body respond to danger?

The body responds to high stress situations (like sexual assault) in several ways. In a nutshell, they can be categorised into different responses: fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop. Stress responses are triggered primarily by the amygdala, a small part of the brain that acts as the “alarm system” and kicks the body into a stress response in an effort to mitigate or minimise harm.

Fight

This can look like a physical fight: pushing, shoving, striking, saying “no,” and more.

Flight

This looks like fleeing the threat in an attempt to create distance between the threat and the person who is under (or perceives to be) under threat.

Freeze

The freeze response is an involuntary, instinctive response to a threat, which looks like going tense and staying silent. This response is also seen in animals, where they may freeze to avoid a dangerous fight to prevent harm or further harm.

This is a highly common reaction to rape and sexual assault. Freezing is not giving consent.

Fawn

Again, the fawn response is an involuntary response, and this can look like calling for help, or even trying to befriend the threat (via bribing, pleading, etc.) in an attempt to mitigate harm.

No strategy used to “befriend the threat” is consent - consent can only be given willingly without thought of self-preservation behind it (i.e. “if I comply with their demands they won’t hurt me as much” is not consent).

Flop

Finally, the flop response - similarly to the freeze and fawn response, they are involuntary in nature. The flop response may be more similar to the freeze response in the sense that people may, well, freeze. The only difference is that people may experience a “black out” and not remain fully aware of the situation, and their muscles may go floppy. Again, this does not equal consent.

As mentioned earlier, these stress responses may have served a function when the traumatic event occurred, but these responses may be rearing their heads when you feel they don’t need to - making them maladaptive.

Trauma symptoms

These can manifest as flashbacks, nightmares, dissociation, hypersexuality and more. Despite the inconvenience and pain that trauma responses bring, it can be quite helpful to understand why they even exist in the first place. Well, as mentioned earlier, they serve as a method to keep us safe (although, quite frankly, they are experienced as doing the complete opposite and are often debilitating).

However, there are neurological explanations that outline why and how these things occur. There are tonnes of explanations out there that outline how we believe each trauma response occurs. Here is an example:

Flashbacks and nightmares

The only difference between nightmares and flashbacks is that nightmares occur when you are asleep, and flashbacks occur while you are awake (there are several types of flashbacks, e.g. somatic flashbacks).

The hippocampus, which is located towards the centre of the brain, is responsible for encoding and organising memories in context - allowing us to recognise when events happened in the past (i.e. if a friend were to ask you when you last had your favourite meal, you would likely be able to respond with a time in the past).

In the context of trauma, the hippocampus can become dysregulated and even shrink, inhibiting the function of the hippocampus, which means that it can become neurologically, borderline impossible (at times) for survivors to recognise that presently, they are safe and are no longer enduring the traumatic event that they survived.

In other words, they are re-experiencing their trauma(s) due to neurological differences following a traumatic event, since the hippocampus is not able to keep the traumatic event in the past.

What can survivors take away from this?

In the wise words of Carolyn Spring, a trauma response is a normal response to an abnormal event, and this is evidenced by the distinct, involuntary neurological changes that take place in the brain following a traumatic event.

For survivors, being able to harness the knowledge that their brains have quite literally changed structure and/or their neurons have rewired themselves in an attempt to preserve safety (whilst also acknowledging the detriment that their trauma responses have, and continue to cause), can become the first foothold that they have in their recovery; as this involves recognising that they are not crazy, they are normal, and that there is nothing wrong with them.

Survivors have involuntarily adapted neurologically with the aim to minimise future harm; sometimes to their detriment, as the brain is built to keep us safe, not happy.

So, what happens next?

There are a plethora of therapies out there that can be effective for trauma and trauma-related conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (e.g. EMDR therapy). On a neurological level, therapy aims to build healthier, stronger neural pathways in the brain to elicit positive change.

Trauma symptoms can be helped. It is key for survivors to recognise this. The recognition that life can start to feel better inherently involves the realisation that they are not as powerless as they felt during their inescapable traumatic event, and that the power of change is in their hands.