Are we addicted to anxiety? Exploring a hidden pattern

What does it mean to be ‘addicted’ to anxiety? When I was a teenager, addiction was usually thought of in relation to problem behaviours such as gambling, drinking, drugs or sex, where the relatively easy possibility of achievable ‘highs’ was seen to outweigh the risk of attracting the ‘lows’. 

As I got older, this expanded into new areas, with people talking of being addicted to shopping, food, and now, phones and social media. At the same time – let's say from the 1970s to the present day – in the background, records show that anxiety was proliferating. 

Anxiety, as defined by the Mental Health Foundation, is "a type of fear usually associated with the thought of a threat or something going wrong in the future, but it can also arise from something happening right now."

Why anxiety is on the rise

Counselling Directory records the search terms used by those navigating the website, and anxiety tops the records. In December 2023, Counselling Directory had recorded 50,000 searches for the keyword, which I thought was a lot. When I looked at September 2025, this figure had increased to over 70,000.

Out of curiosity, a search of the oldest records for the directory showed that back in 2009, "anxiety" was the 10th most searched term, used by a ‘mere’ 362 people. Even if these figures aren’t directly comparable, they still suggest a massive rise in the role anxiety plays in people’s lives. The Office of National Statistics shows that anxiety is particularly prevalent amongst the 26-29 age group, tailing off for those aged 50+.

The link between anxiety and addiction

Common causes of anxiety

We have considerable understanding of the many underlying triggers and causes of anxiety, as known to us all, including negative life events, social isolation, work or education stress, physical and/or mental health problems, social and family pressures, including pressures presented online.  

If these are the more ‘obvious’ causes of anxiety, known to and experienced by a good many of us, there are other factors too, such as our genes, our upbringing, education and environment. The Mental Health Foundation Report referred to above demonstrates that the cost-of-living crisis is a particular concern currently, with one third saying they were not coping well with their anxiety and nearly one half claiming to keep their anxiety a secret (a clear red flag to us counsellors!).

In relation to how anxiety and addiction might be linked, we (neurologists and psychologists, that is, not myself), have a fairly good understanding of the reasons for this association, extremely simplistically involving the amygdala, the body’s ‘fight or flight’ stress response and repeated behavioural patterns.

Can we break the cycle? 'Beating' your anxiety 

The "easy" answers or typical suggestions are often those, as follows:

• getting enough sleep (not easy if you’re worrying about the MOT or electric bill)
• taking exercise
• spending time in nature
• speaking to family and /or friends
• eating well
• challenging/questioning your anxious thoughts
• NOT turning to the self-soothing consumption of drink or drugs, etc. 

Other quite successful anti-anxiety strategies are to have a daily ‘worry hour’ where you ‘park’ the worries that you come across during the day to think about them at 7 pm, and not before then. Often, by 7pm, the particular worry or worries you had earlier may have dissipated or gone away entirely. Certainly, their force is likely to have lessened by then.

Another strategy (as described by Dr Lee David) is in three steps: first, having noticed your anxiety and determined to view it with kindness rather than irritation, then second, observe and feel your five senses (touch, sight, smell, etc), and third, turn to applying your 'wise mind', considering what's next for you, what's important to you, what 'sensible you' feels would be best for you, what you can control.

All the suggestions above provide sound advice, and undoubtedly help many, but sometimes, they may not feel as if they are going far enough in tackling the anxiety at its core, especially for those people who have become addicted to anxiety. This may be when going to see a counsellor could be the best step you've taken for a long time.

Owen O’Kane’s book, Addicted to Anxiety 

This a book I would highly recommend to anyone who feels they could relate to the title. Before getting into any detail, encouragingly, he quotes research that states, "Around 90% of our fears come to nothing, and the other 10% are rarely as awful as imagined".

Having given us this powerful argument for hope, O'Kane then writes about six key foundations for addressing potential anxiety addiction, as shown below, but tweaked/adapted by me in part to incorporate my own learning as a therapist for the last 12 years, but also provide learning gained from listening to Dr Lee David as referred to above.

O'Kane's-David's-my adapted foundations are as follows:

1. Acknowledgement and acceptance of the addictive components of your anxious self. It is quite likely your anxiety is having an impact on your physical body – your stomach, gut, or head for example, your mind, (O’Kane points out that the mind creates around 60,000 - 90,000 thoughts per day, around 70% of which are negative or fearful in nature), your feelings, (such as a sense of overwhelm), behaviours such as OCD, energies and beliefs.
2. Taking responsibility for your part in recovery (we can’t just rely on others for support, we need to put the work in too!).
3. Amendments to your lifestyle to support recovery (thinking and acting on what you need to do to make progress – maybe having better boundaries).
4. Relating to your anxious self with compassion and non-judgement (self–compassion and kindness are key here. Befriending your anxiety is key as described by Dr Lee David.
5. Accepting that you are not powerless (You are in control – it’s your life, no one else’s).
6. Accepting anxiety as a temporary state (as said by many wise people through the ages: 'This too will pass').

A final thought and personal recommendation: Explore how you could introduce mindfulness meditation into your life; a practice that has been proven to have considerable value in developing patience and self-compassion, reducing anxiety, stress and depression; and that’s just for starters.

Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.

- Jon Kabat-Zinn