Anxiety grasping what you can and can't control

Life can sometimes seem like a dance between what we have power over (our actions, thoughts, and reactions) and what's beyond our control (other people's actions and global events). Recognising this difference allows us to direct our efforts towards what truly counts.

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Within my grasp

My perspective: How you think influences how you see the world. Embracing a mindset focused on growth can turn obstacles into chances for growth. It's the distinction between saying, "This is impossible for me," and saying, "Let me figure out how to make this work."

The vocabulary I employ has influence; the language we select can elevate spirits and motivation while effectively communicating our aims with clarity and purposefulness.

Embracing the now moment means being fully present in the current moment, not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Remaining connected to the moment boosts your capacity to manage stress and savour life's moments fully. Practising mindfulness techniques such as meditation can assist in keeping you centred and focused.

What I choose to spend my time on. Time is what we have, so it's important to focus on things that matter to us and help us achieve our goals and values in life. Remember, how you spend your time is your choice, and that's a powerful tool for shaping your life.

Here's how I move on from failure: Failure is a part of the journey towards your progress and development. Instead of seeing it as a hindrance or defeat, I view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. I take the time to reflect on what went awry, make changes, and then continue pushing without looking back. This process of reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth.


What I am unable to influence

The future remains uncertain and unpredictable; then fixating on what may come to pass tomorrow or, beyond that point in time, focus on the actions you can take today to influence the days ahead positively. Planning for the future proves beneficial, yet becoming preoccupied with what lies ahead is unnecessary.

Although others' behaviour is beyond your control, you can manage how you react. Stay true to your values and principles regardless of how others behave.

Everyone has opinions, but what really counts is how you see yourself. Don't allow others to determine your value as a person. Remember, your worth is not determined by others but by your own perception of yourself.

What occurs in my surroundings: Numerous external occurrences are outside your influence. Acknowledging this reality lessens tension and worry. Concentrate instead and how you can. React.

Reflecting on errors – The past is set in stone, but we can learn from it. Reflecting on our mistakes without allowing their impact to shape our lives can help us make wiser choices going forward. For example, if we made a poor financial decision in the past, we could reflect on what led to that decision and use that knowledge to make better financial choices in the future.

How others perceive me is influenced by their backgrounds and biases, so it's important to stay genuine to yourself and not seek approval from others.


In summary, it's important to consider all the factors before deciding. Life is about finding our way through things over which we have influence. Those we don't have control over in this journey of life. Concentrating on things we can manage ourselves leads to a satisfying life. Use your power to shape your attitude, speech, presence, time, resilience and limits. Release the elements beyond your control, like the future of others' decisions and past errors. By doing this, you liberate yourself to live genuinely and happily.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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London E1 & Woodford Green IG8
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Written by David Pender
MBACP, Relationships Psychotherapy | Specialising in Anxiety
location_on London E1 & Woodford Green IG8
Anxiety and stress can often be like unwelcome companions, casting shadows over your daily life and dampening your ability to embrace new experiences with confidence. it's important to seek ways to manage these emotions and reclaim your freedom.
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