A therapist’s guide for managing stress

Most people don’t realise they’re stressed until they snap, cry, or crash. Maybe you’ve noticed your patience thinning, your sleep suffering, or that background hum of anxiety that just won’t switch off. The question is, are we all just holding it together?

While we’re all familiar with the word “stress,” most of us underestimate how silently it builds. As a therapist, I often work with people who say things like:

• “I didn’t know how tense I was until I slowed down.”
• “I just thought this was normal… but it turns out I was burnt out.”

Stress hides in plain sight. We keep going, doing, performing, until something gives.

What actually is stress?

Stress is your body’s way of responding to something it sees as challenging or threatening. Short-term stress can be useful, it gets you through a deadline, helps you act fast in a crisis. But long-term, unrelenting stress? That’s when it becomes a problem.

When your body doesn’t get the signal to calm down, stress starts affecting everything: your immune system, mood, digestion, focus, and even how you connect with others.

The balloon metaphor: Why you might be one breath away from popping

Think of yourself like a balloon. Every time something difficult happens, a missed train, an argument, money worries, work pressure, it’s like someone adds another puff of air.

At first, there’s plenty of space. You stretch and adjust. But without a release valve, that balloon starts to swell under pressure. Eventually, it reaches breaking point – all it takes is one more puff, and... pop!

For many people, that “pop” looks like:

• Snapping at someone you love.
• Bursting into tears over something small.
• Feeling physically run-down.
• Struggling to cope with things that usually feel manageable.

And when that happens, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been holding too much for too long.

Subtle signs your balloon’s getting full

Stress doesn’t always arrive with flashing lights. Often, it shows up as a slow buildup. Watch out for:

• Constant tiredness, even after sleep.
• A shorter fuse or emotional outbursts.
• Tension in your body – tight shoulders, clenched jaw, headaches.
• Feeling scattered or forgetful.
• Losing interest in things you normally enjoy.
• Avoiding social plans or work tasks.
• Relying more on alcohol, sugar, or your phone to wind down.

If any of these ring true, your body might be telling you it’s time to let some air out.

Letting the air out: 5 simple strategies to ease stress

You don’t need to meditate on a mountain or delete all your apps. Small, steady actions can make a real difference.

1. Start the day gently

Before the chaos of the day begins, take a moment just for you. Stretch, breathe, sip something warm. Set the tone before the world barges in.

2. Acknowledge the pressure

Stress thrives in silence. Say it out loud or jot it down: “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Giving it a name gives you a starting point.

3. Give yourself permission to say no

You’re allowed to protect your energy. Whether it’s turning down a meeting, delaying a chore, or not replying right away, boundaries matter.

4. Prioritise self-care

What lifts you even 5%? Music, fresh air, laughter, movement? These moments aren’t indulgent; they’re vital.

5. Speak to yourself kindly

Stress often triggers self-criticism: “Why can’t I handle this?” Try replacing that with: “I’m doing the best I can in a hard moment.” It’s a game-changer.

Stress isn’t just part of modern life, it’s a signal that something needs care. Maybe your act of courage isn’t pushing through – perhaps it's time to press pause, check in and let some of that pressure out before you pop.