5 ways to increase sex - midlife and beyond

Sex is an important part of a healthy life. It’s also an important way to maintain intimacy with your partner. If you want to increase sex in your midlife and beyond, try the tips below.

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1. Communicate with your partner

Communication is key to a great sex life, but it can be difficult to bring up the subject. The good news is that talking about what you like and don't like, as well as asking for what you want (and saying no when needed), can lead to more satisfying sex. This doesn’t mean there will never be times when one or both partners are frustrated or even angry with each other; but if the communication continues, then resentment won’t build up over time and become a barrier in relationships.

If talking about sex seems daunting to you, start by asking questions: "What would make this better?" or "What do I need from us right now?" are great starters because they encourage both partners to think about their needs without putting pressure on either person.


2. Fantasize

Fantasizing can be a fun and easy way to get your mind in the mood. If you have never fantasized before, it's important to try out a few different scenarios in order to find out what works best for you. Try thinking about your partner doing something hot with another person or celebrity; think about yourself doing something hot with another person or celebrity; think about an erotic fantasy that you've had before.

The key is not to focus on the details of these scenarios too much (don't worry about how realistic they are), but rather let them flow through your mind without judgment as if they were happening right now.


3. Be sexual more often

The point is to be sexual more often and in a variety of ways.

You may not have the same frequency of sex you did when you were younger, but you can still be sexual on a regular basis. If your partner is open to it, schedule in time for foreplay or intimacy before or after work without having intercourse.
Make sure that some time each day is dedicated to being together as a couple with no distractions (TV, phone calls, kids). This will help strengthen your relationship overall, which should lead to more frequent sex down the line!


4. Try new things

The best way to spice up your sex life is to experiment with different positions and places. The more you try, the more you'll find out what turns you on. You can also add some toys into the mix, such as vibrators and handcuffs. Try playing games like strip poker or truth or dare with your partner. If you're feeling adventurous, consider dressing up in some sexy lingerie or costumes for a night of role-playing fun! The possibilities are endless — you just need to decide what works best for both of you!


5. Have sex even when you don't feel like it!

Despite what you may think, you don't have to feel like having sex. You can do it anyway and reap the benefits. Your health will improve, your relationship will strengthen, and even your mental health will get a boost!

For example, sex is good for your physical health. It increases blood flow throughout the body (which helps prevent heart disease), lowers stress levels in both men and women (lessening anxiety), reduces pain (especially menstrual cramps), strengthens muscles around bones — including those in the spine — helping us avoid falls later in life, improves sleep quality by releasing endorphins that promote relaxation… the list goes on!

Sex strengthens relationships by helping couples feel closer physically as well as emotionally (which can reduce arguments). In fact, research shows that couples who have more frequent sex are happier overall than those who do not enjoy such intimacy; this is especially true for married couples who report being less stressed out when they make love regularly together versus those who engage less frequently over time."


Ways to increase your sex drive at any age

Sexual desire is not just about hormones, it's also about how you feel and what you desire sexually. So if you're finding yourself wanting to have sex less often than before, know that there are ways to increase your sexual desire — whether or not you have a medical condition affecting your sex drive.

Communication is key

Communication helps to stay connected during midlife and beyond. It doesn't matter whether the cause of a lower libido is psychological or physical; working together toward better understanding each other's needs will help both partners find new ways of enjoying intimacy together — even if those needs don't align perfectly with one another's (or with society's expectations).

Fantasize about new experiences instead of just worrying about what isn’t happening in reality yet! And become more comfortable talking about sex by talking more openly about masturbation as well as intercourse — so that neither partner feels threatened by their partner’s desires for more self-pleasure than they may want themselves — and then try out some new things!


We hope that you’ve learned a thing or two about ways to increase your sex drive. We know it can be a challenge, but we also know that you can do it! Remember to try new things, communicate with your partner, and have fun. Good luck!

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Epsom, Surrey, KT17
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Written by Karina Godwin
location_on Epsom, Surrey, KT17
https://www.karinagodwinpsychoterapy.com/ I work with various mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, loneliness, grief, ageing, culture, identity, and relationships. Being an integrative psychotherapist means I wil...
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